Things have gotten out of hand
 

I'm becoming depressed, my savings are gone, it's time for a change in my life. I'm slowly killing myself and I've decided I've had enough. It isn't fun anymore. I'm going to use the pills I got to come off drinking and look for support in my community.

Glad you are here!

Thanks

And the condition of my apartment after a 4 day binge, that was a wake up call

I guess things have to get bad before anyone wants to change

You can do this! You really, really can. Sending you love and support!

Thanks

Welcome to SR, Laura; you'll find a lot of support and information for you here if you want to get sober!

There is truth to your statement above. Glad you are here.

I'm feeling a little afraid that I won't be able to make it to a meeting until Thursday and I will have to make it through the week without any support. That or spend a fortune to go to the city.

I don't have supportive friends, over the last few years I've distanced myself from most people because they were drug users. I have intended to quit for a long time now, it's taking longer than I hoped for.

There is plenty of support here 24/7 365 days a year ;-). And if you are referring to AA meetings, I'm certain that if you call your local chapter or even a nearby one someone would give you a ride. And even if that's not possible there are AA meetings online every day, just google "online AA meetings". All you have to do is ask, and don't be afraid to do so.

The last I checked they removed online meetings because it stopped people from going to actual meetings

I found an na online chatroom

Stay focused on your goal, Laura and you can do this.

Just as alcohol creates artificial highs, it creates artificial lows as it leaves your system. Giving up alcohol will help you to feel better and think of ways to improve your situation. When we poison ourselves we are making bad situations unnecessarily worse.

They are still there, lots of them actually. Multiple times a day. We have a chatroom here too although there are not any regularly scheduled "meetings" so to speak. Another thing to keep in mind is that if you are seeking AA meetings, the big book is free and online and you can read it any time of the day. We also have separate 12 step subforms here if you'd like to engage with discussions focused on that method.

Instead of finding reasons why things won't work, how about making a list of things you can do today?

It isn't easy, but as Scott suggests, there is plenty you can do right now.

One thing that will help a great deal to distract yourself is a deep clean of your apartment--scrub, declutter, wash your sheets and do some self-care for yourself.

Also, healthy food is pretty important for recovery--whole foods made from scratch can be inexpensive, tasty, and help you heal.
There are so many cooking tutorials online now, even if you don't usually cook, you can make some excellent food.

You can do this--you can totally change your trajectory and quicker than you think

Wishing you the best

I work through the weekend, there isn't much I can do right now

That will have to wait until Monday