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Bewitching time

Old 07-14-2018, 06:55 AM
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Bewitching time

Hi SR community! If anyone has read any of my post since 2014 they will know that I have had a terrible time staying clean after the 10 through 14 day of trying to quit. Today is the 13th day this time and I have decided to post here for support to get me through the "bewitching " period. I went to lunch with a friend yesterday and found myself fighting really hard not to cave. We normally have a couple of drinks when we meet for lunch once a month. The problem with that it is never a couple just at lunch for me. When I drop her off I go to the liquor store and get my stuff and go home alone and drink to oblivion for days. I started hearing those demon voices trying to gently convince me that I could probably have a couple and stop...right...I fought really hard to remember all the times that voice told me that and when I gave in where I landed. It was really hard. So since after the 2nd week is when I get the case of the F its Im going to do something different this time. Im going to be ver cognizant that I am an alcoholic, I fall after 2 weeks, play the tapes all the way to the very end and come to SR with vengeance. Usually I slowly stop reading, posting and praying for sobriety around this time, but I got to stick to my pledge to do things differently this time around if I want to make it. Still have to find f2f and sponsor though....that I think is the hardest for me. Very grateful for the SR community, very grateful.
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Old 07-14-2018, 07:01 AM
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Good of you to post. You can make it past two weeks. Failure isn't predetermined. That's just the point where it's been most difficult for you. I think recognizing your past behaviors and doing something different will go a long way in getting you through your struggles.
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Old 07-14-2018, 07:40 AM
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Glad you made it but honestly Id suggest avoiding things like those lunches for a while. The stress of knuckling through those types of things would often lead to me relapsing a day or two later.
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Old 07-14-2018, 07:55 AM
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You could tell your friend you can meet however alcohol is out of the question for you. Tell your friend it's a health issue and you have to avoid alcohol at all costs. Or you could do like I did and tell everyone that you're an alcoholic and drinking is not an option anymore. Once you put this out in the open you never have to hide behind false pretences ever again.
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:40 AM
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mistory,
way to go on changing what you usually do!
when what we usually do ends up repeatedly in a place we don't want to be, changing what we do is a good step to take.
keep adding.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted by tekink View Post
Glad you made it but honestly Id suggest avoiding things like those lunches for a while. The stress of knuckling through those types of things would often lead to me relapsing a day or two later.
Yeah, I was thinking that. The problem with that is Im not sure what things to do for pleasure and socializing. If I totally cut everyone off I will literally be isolated...I think that would not be good. I did ask my friend to come to my house for next month's lunch. Shes not a big drinker and she wouldn't bring it to my house. I told her I wasnt drinking due to a new medication I was on. I noticed she didn't order a drink either yesterday.
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Old 07-14-2018, 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted by mistory5 View Post
The problem with that is Im not sure what things to do for pleasure and socializing. If I totally cut everyone off I will literally be isolated...I think that would not be good.
No one is saying be a hermit, and no one is saying forever. But it is wise, in early recovery, to avoid the places that we frequented as drinkers, avoided alcohol centric activities, and found sober places, sober events, and eventually sober friends.

When you are established in your recovery, you will find that these activities bother you less, or you'll find them less interesting and will find other things to do.
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Old 07-14-2018, 02:28 PM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
No one is saying be a hermit, and no one is saying forever. But it is wise, in early recovery, to avoid the places that we frequented as drinkers, avoided alcohol centric activities, and found sober places, sober events, and eventually sober friends.

When you are established in your recovery, you will find that these activities bother you less, or you'll find them less interesting and will find other things to do.

Thanks, I gotta keep reminding myself that things will get better if I don't drink ever. I know more than ever I can't control the negative affect alcohol has on my me physically, mentally, spiritually, socially and financially. None of the people I drank with or drinking alone is worth the hell that the bottle brought to my life. I am going to have to put some effort into finding sober associates and activities...bottom line. Most of all I have to be patient with while doing it. I gotta problem with instant gratification...Im realizing this.
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Old 07-14-2018, 02:49 PM
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Originally Posted by mistory5 View Post
Thanks, I gotta keep reminding myself that things will get better if I don't drink ever. I know more than ever I can't control the negative affect alcohol has on my me physically, mentally, spiritually, socially and financially. None of the people I drank with or drinking alone is worth the hell that the bottle brought to my life. I am going to have to put some effort into finding sober associates and activities...bottom line. Most of all I have to be patient with while doing it. I gotta problem with instant gratification...Im realizing this.
Tomorrow is my 3 month milestone. I've only tracked beer but so far I have saved $360.00 on beer purchases alone. That does not show the amount of liquor I purchased . The stuff adds up quick when you are a frequent buyer!
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Old 07-14-2018, 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted by mistory5 View Post
Thanks, I gotta keep reminding myself that things will get better if I don't drink ever. I know more than ever I can't control the negative affect alcohol has on my me physically, mentally, spiritually, socially and financially. None of the people I drank with or drinking alone is worth the hell that the bottle brought to my life. I am going to have to put some effort into finding sober associates and activities...bottom line. Most of all I have to be patient with while doing it. I gotta problem with instant gratification...Im realizing this.
It's kind of like staying in when you have a cold. There's a healing process that needs to occur. It didn't take too long for me to realize I wasn't really missing out on anything outside of drunkenness. There's some healing involved and that takes some time. Once I made it through the first year things became a lot easier.

I just got back from seeing Dead and Company (the latest version of the Grateful Dead) a state away and had a blast, I didn't miss drinking nor crave a drink the entire trip.

I
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Old 07-14-2018, 03:01 PM
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Good work mistory!
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Old 07-14-2018, 04:29 PM
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good going mistory.

there's a lot of things you can do that need not involve alcohol, but also need not involve you sitting in the dark at home with the curtains drawn

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ething-do.html (Looking For Something To Do?)

D
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Old 07-14-2018, 05:11 PM
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Thank you everyone for your responses and support. They have all been helpful and refreshed my resolve to stay sober today. I believe all the suggestions were very appropriate and I will give it my best to implement them. Thanks again SR community.
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Old 07-14-2018, 07:51 PM
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Thirteen days of sobriety is great, mistory. Protect that! It's worth it.
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Old 07-15-2018, 04:51 AM
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Glad you are with us and working to get through the "bewitching" period as you call it.

Perhaps beyond finding new ways to spend time- I sure spent a LOT of time catching up on shows and bingeing on Netflix, and did some adult coloring books too (meaning, they have pics with curse words! ha) .... - now is the perfect time to get the IRL support you mention. AA meetings are a great way to take up an hour (or more), and as you mention a sponsor perhaps you're open to that program.

Stick around and take care of yourself. Best to you.
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