Still not sober
Still not sober
I’ve been trying to quit since January. Every time I set a date, the day comes and I get a new quit date. This has been going on since January. My first quit date was January 1, then February 14, then March 17...basically holidays I can remember. I’m losing hope. Every time I get a craving and cave in, the guilt makes me want to drink more. It’s a vicious cycle I’m sick of repeating. What do I do when my cravings are so bad?
What you do when the cravings get so bad is you do whatever it takes to get through it. It's the getting through it that will lessen the cravings that follow. There is no way around it. Distract yourself in any way you can, even for a few minutes. You can do this!
You ride them out without drinking, that's what you do. Don't set a date, make today your quit date. It's hard to get thru the withdrawal and early sobriety, but it's possible. How badly do you want to be sober?
How bad do I want to be sober?
My honest answer...not bad enough. I’m a highly functioning binge drinker. I’ve had no real consequences. I want to stop for my health. I want to stop because I could die binge drinking on the medication I take. Why doesn’t that scare me?
cravings can be awful....but they really only tend to last about 15 minutes....give or take. all we have to do is hang on and not do anything stupid.....for 15 minutes.....give or take. every time we resist a craving, we get stronger. every time we give in, the addiction gets stronger.
it's like Survivor....outwit, outlast, outplay. whatever it takes. the only day to set as a quit date is TODAY. any other day will never happen.
it's like Survivor....outwit, outlast, outplay. whatever it takes. the only day to set as a quit date is TODAY. any other day will never happen.
I won’t give up. I never give up on anything. But I’m tired. I want support but I don’t want AA. I want someone I can call that can talk me out of it. I want someone who understands this. My husband is supportive but he doesn’t know how much of a mental war this is for me. I feel very alone. Boredom is my biggest trigger.
Well I can certainly understand. I was embarrassed by my slips. I would lie to people and tell them I was sober. This went on for years.
Finally, I asked the God of my understanding, for help put my pride aside
and called AA.
I had a few slips after that, but my drinking had been ruined by attending meetings.
I was a bad drunk by then, too. I simply could not quit on my own and I was desperate.
My life was circling the drain.
I'm glad you're here again. I've found this place invaluable and I've been sober nine and a half years now.
Stories like yours help me stay sober. I've been where you are and don't want to go back, so thank you for positing.
I had to quit more than I wanted to drink, and it took me a long
time to get to the precarious situation I was in. Live or die.
I really hope you can stop before you get that far. Take my word for it, it's a waking nightmare.
So best to you and hope you keep posting.
Finally, I asked the God of my understanding, for help put my pride aside
and called AA.
I had a few slips after that, but my drinking had been ruined by attending meetings.
I was a bad drunk by then, too. I simply could not quit on my own and I was desperate.
My life was circling the drain.
I'm glad you're here again. I've found this place invaluable and I've been sober nine and a half years now.
Stories like yours help me stay sober. I've been where you are and don't want to go back, so thank you for positing.
I had to quit more than I wanted to drink, and it took me a long
time to get to the precarious situation I was in. Live or die.
I really hope you can stop before you get that far. Take my word for it, it's a waking nightmare.
So best to you and hope you keep posting.
I know what it is. I know what I want. I was sober for a year. A whole year! God I regret picking u that bottle and I'd give anything to take it back. I know how good sobriety is. I want it. But I need support. I need someone.
My new quit date is 8/18/18. By writing that date I'm making it official. I'm not turning back. I'm not giving in. My plan for the intense craving is to call my husband and come here and hope to God someone talks me out of it. i have to do this. I'm not giving up. i don't give up.
My new quit date is 8/18/18. By writing that date I'm making it official. I'm not turning back. I'm not giving in. My plan for the intense craving is to call my husband and come here and hope to God someone talks me out of it. i have to do this. I'm not giving up. i don't give up.
You're right. But I'm not an AA person. I feel like I don't belong there. I got sober here back in 2015. I came here to this forum and was sober for a whole year. I think that's my answer. Sober Recovery got me sober before and it will again. I have to post here regularly. I quit this Saturday and I will be here glued. That is my plan. I need you guys.
You can do it, I have no doubt.
You mentioned boredom is your trigger. It was mine to at the beginning, back when I still needed a reason to drink, but I created my own boredom.
I work free lance so I can work when I wanted to.
Rainy day, drink. Too cold, drink. Don't feel like working, drink. Ad infintum.
Then it got to the point where I didn't need a reason.
Again, I created my own boredom as an excuse to drink.
There were a hundred things I could have been doing. What a wasted life I lead for so, so long.
Now I create things to do. And I'm very seldom bored.
You mentioned boredom is your trigger. It was mine to at the beginning, back when I still needed a reason to drink, but I created my own boredom.
I work free lance so I can work when I wanted to.
Rainy day, drink. Too cold, drink. Don't feel like working, drink. Ad infintum.
Then it got to the point where I didn't need a reason.
Again, I created my own boredom as an excuse to drink.
There were a hundred things I could have been doing. What a wasted life I lead for so, so long.
Now I create things to do. And I'm very seldom bored.
Why 8/18/18? I think you know the answer to that question. It's a game. I have alcohol in my fridge. I'm letting the alcohol win one more time. Saturday I'll be here. Saturday it's over. I need to be ready. I need to say goodbye. One last dance with the devil.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 316
Dear Secretchord, you know, whenever I would tell myself "on such and such a date I will start exercising" or some other thing that I know I really should do (like working on my taxes) but don't have the enthusiasm for (like a mammogram), you know what? Such date comes and I don't do it. I honestly rebel against myself. Do you? Have you tried telling yourself at whatever hour you normally commence drinking, "You know what? I don't feel like it today. I can do without a drink today. If I really want one, I'll have it tomorrow." Some people "make a decision" that they don't drink and it works for them. If I told myself "I don't drink," myself would tell me "Oh, yeah?"and prove me wrong.
Someday I will be far enough along the journey that I will be comfortable with "never, " but for now "not today" works and I say it every day. And I come on here when I have a craving or at least once a day to keep momentum.
You were sober for a year. That's awesome.
You had 365 sober days under your belt! Now you can work on day 366. And you're going to feel so much better without the hooch in your system that you will actually feel like trying new things.
I hope to see you often on here. You can do this again.
Someday I will be far enough along the journey that I will be comfortable with "never, " but for now "not today" works and I say it every day. And I come on here when I have a craving or at least once a day to keep momentum.
You were sober for a year. That's awesome.
You had 365 sober days under your belt! Now you can work on day 366. And you're going to feel so much better without the hooch in your system that you will actually feel like trying new things.
I hope to see you often on here. You can do this again.
Just rip the bandaid off.
secretchord, it's good to have a plan, but the plan to stay sober can't be anchored on someone else talking you out of drinking.
it's not anyone else's job....and it's different from support.
you will have lots of support here.
have you checked out SMART? They might have meetings close to you.
it's not anyone else's job....and it's different from support.
you will have lots of support here.
have you checked out SMART? They might have meetings close to you.
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