Free39

For the last month or so, I wake up in the morning and say to myself "today is the day, I'm not going to drink anymore". But as soon as 4 o'clock hits, I keep battling in my mind on my way home from work to stop at the liquor store or to not stop at the liquor store. Stopping at the liquor store always wins, and I go to many different ones. When did you say enough is enough of this poison? How did you stick to that commitment on that day?

I'm tired, I want to beat this addiction.

SWB

For me I felt like such crap all day it was an easy decision, but face the same challenge you do. A practice I used to use which I’m going to try again tomorrow is as I drive past the liquor stores I tell the AV to get the fu$k out of the car.

tekink

I didn't really plan it, I just keep trying to stop.

You have to be willing to suffer a bit, especially at first. It's really just a matter of not drinking but that's easier said than done.

columbus

"When did you say enough is enough of this poison?"

When I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it was a matter of life or death.

Hoping you're smarter than I was and move on this sooner rather than later!

Free39

Wow! Thank you Columbus for the wise advice! Your words spoke to my heart

Free39

I'm scared of the suffering, discomfort. But I hear you and know that there is going to be some!

Dee74

My quit date chose me.
If I'd kept on drinking, I wouldn't be here typing this now.

I was terrified of imminent death, so I stopped drinking, immediately.

I also joined up here, That stopped me foam rationalising my problem was 'not that bad' (even with the imminent death thing i was still capable of moments of delusion)

D

Free39

I had to Google what "AV" meant, lol. "Alcoholic Voice?". I hope I got that right.

Yes, I need to have more will power and say "****you and get out of the car" more often! Thanks for your advice!

Grungehead

I was going to say the same thing Dee said. I had reached the point where I couldn't bare to live with alcohol or without it and started contemplating suicide before taking that first drink every morning (I was an all day, every day drinker at the end). One morning I had a lucid moment and called my doctor and he worked me in to see him that day. He referred me to an outpatient treatment center and I saw them the next day. That was the last day I drank.

BDTL

My quit date choose me. On April 15th I had a revelation that this was the day that I was putting alcohol down for good. I have no clue why I stopped on that date however the urge to quit was the coolest experience I have ever gone through in my entire life.

Dee74

it's more usually addictive voice - covers all addictive behaviour

D

Free39

I hope my true revelation comes soon! Because every morning, I think I have a revelation, but after a long boring day at work, it seems to be gone. Thank you for your post and congratulations on your sobriety!

tekink

There is indeed suffering and discomfort, but once you make it through that there's a whole new world out there!

It's kind of like jumping in the pool, just do it.

"AV" is that little voice that tricks you on the way home from work, you have to shut that thing up so it's voice doesn't move you.

It's sneaky, it pretends to be you but in reality it's not!

Gottalife

I didnt know my quit date until my sponsor told me at 3 months. The day I got serious, I had no reason to believe AA would work. At least no reason based in my personal experience. I had never managed to stay quit before.

My main goal was to stop the misery. I followed suggestions without much argument and I realised I had quit for good 90 days later.

Step one was a yeah, yeah - no brainer but the rest of the steps had nothing to do with alcohol. They were more about living and that was were my attention was focussed. By that three month mark my whole outlook had changed and the drink problem seemed to have gone away almost as a by product.

Another way of looking at it was that when I arrived in AA, they said try it for three months. If I didn't like it, there was a misery back guarantee. I tried the whole package, not just meetings, and at the three month mark I had sufficient results to know I was never going back. I had found my solution. In a decision making sense I suppose I was three months sober when I decided I had quit for good.

fini

when i understood and accepted that i was a drunk.
meaning: my drinking would never be different, ie moderte, social, casual.
no, that wasn't me.
and never would r could be.

Mattq2

I think I tried to quit every day for years. I finally felt a sense that I was running out of time . I felt like if I didn’t stop this time I would die an alcoholic. Yes the first months were tough but it really does get so much easier. Eventually drinking seems like something from long ago.

rascalwhiteoak

One day, I turned left and went home instead of going straight to my normal beer store. Not exactly a beautiful moment of clarity; more like an opening that I saw and pushed through. I started treating alcohol as a legitimate problem that would only go away with education and effort (vs. wishing and hoping). I also defended my new sobriety, even in the single-digit days.

Whatever you want to call it, it's working for me

DontRemember

I only know it was around thanksgiving almost 2yrs ago (with one night in there). Court ordered AA and a big 'mess' to clean up on all fronts. I got everything mostly straightened up(minus full trust from others) around 9mo and just keep plugging along to this day. Life,for the most part,is waay simpler these days. The trust is basically back,unless I'm having a bad day,some question if I've been drinking. They ask others..not me.

MissPerfumado

I was having a torrid time, health wise. I was starting to get super-anxious in the daytime, gagging in the morning brushing my teeth, aching in my liver... On the cusp of physical dependency. It was gonna kill me, for sure, if I kept going.

I had a terrible weekend in the lead-up. I was in an unhealthy relationship and we were texting back and forth and I was angry. In my last text-rant - while drunk - I wrote: I have to clean up.

I saw my yoga instructor the next morning, the Sunday. Hungover yoga ... I used to do that all the time. I had in my mind I was going to quit for good on New Year's Day. In two weeks. And I spilled the beans to my yoga instructor because she was a lovely soul who had her own mental health challenges. She listened and simply said ... 'If you're going to quit for good, why wait?' And the logic was just so unmistakable.

She gave me the name of her doctor. That friend, my yoga instructor, was an angel.

I had two more glasses of wine that night, finished off a bottle. The next day, I went to the office. I sat at my desk and couldn't work. I rang the clinic.

I went to see the doctor and confessed how much I was drinking. And saying it out loud in the doctor's office made it real, and I knew then that was it, and I was done for good.

PeacefulWater12

I kept trying and trying to quit. Got myself trapped in a four day cycle for a while, then one time I got onto day five and it all went from there. Am at 8 years now. It got easy and natural feeling quite quickly. Once I had accepted I was done.

I now understand the cycle was me playing mind games with myself, at the time I thought it was real.