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Horn95 07-11-2018 07:20 PM

Starting Over
 
I have been in turmoil for a couple of weeks. Relapsed badly. I am very afraid. I fear I am going to lose everything.

I just cannot get out of my own way. I have not seen my sponsor ina couple of weeks. I have to break it to him about my relapse. Dreading that.

I think I need to go into rehab. I feel doomed. I am so mad at myself.

fini 07-11-2018 07:25 PM

hey Horn,
you are not doomed.
take the actions, starting with getting back on track with sponsor and stepwork if that is the path you have chosen to follow.
good to see you back, Horn.

least 07-11-2018 07:25 PM

Rehab might be a good idea.

Worriedwifey88 07-11-2018 07:27 PM


Originally Posted by Horn95 (Post 6951723)
I have been in turmoil for a couple of weeks. Relapsed badly. I am very afraid. I fear I am going to lose everything.

I just cannot get out of my own way. I have not seen my sponsor ina couple of weeks. I have to break it to him about my relapse. Dreading that.

I think I need to go into rehab. I feel doomed. I am so mad at myself.

Only thing to do is try again. Don’t stop trying, surround yourself with positive people and keep going. Everyone falls off and you just gotta keep working on it. #Mytwocents

ScottFromWI 07-11-2018 07:29 PM

You've got several good ideas there Horn. Call your sponsor and check out some rehab options around you. Being afraid is a natural and proper emotion to be feeling right now - you're literally playing games with your life. You know what do to - you just have to do it. Why not make today the first day of your new, better, sober life?

Dee74 07-12-2018 12:06 AM

I'm sorry you're still struggling Horn - but the sooner you follow one of those ideas through, the sooner you can move past the nightmare.

Rehab might be the way to get you started and get a few good ideas - then you can work out what to do from there

don't stint on your recovery work - you'll get back exactly what you put in :)

D

Gabe1980 07-12-2018 12:27 AM

Hi Horn. I understand how tough it is starting over. But you can do this. Start putting the things in place you know work. I'm sure support from your sponsor will be a good place to start too. Best wishes to you. Gabe xx

Forward12 07-12-2018 01:00 AM

Rehab does sound like it would be a very solid option. I'd make some phone calls in the morning and see what arrangements can be made to get you into a facility and to put the madness down for good.

Nonsensical 07-12-2018 02:31 AM


Originally Posted by Horn95 (Post 6951723)
I just cannot get out of my own way. ..I feel doomed...

Believing I was a victim kept me at the mercy of my addiction for a long long time.

Believing I could do something about it has served me much better.

Best of Luck on Your Journey! :ring

tomsteve 07-12-2018 02:46 AM

I think I need to go into rehab good! i hope ya get into action lining it up before an excuse gets in the way-amy winehouse did that.

Ladysadie 07-12-2018 03:39 AM

Hey Horn, glad you're back. I was wondering if you were doing well. Just for today, pour your drink out, get on the phone and make your arrangements. Action plan, go forward with positive intentions - just for today you can do it! Sending you prayers and hugs.

lessgravity 07-12-2018 04:00 AM

Come on Horn. You've got plenty of us here rooting for you. You should have reached out before you picked up. You have the toolbox to get straight.

BDTL 07-12-2018 04:06 AM

Ok Horn you have a good plan in getting help in rehab. Start the ball rolling today so you can begin your healing process. Never ever give up as you really want to quit so hang in there. Let' s get this done because we're all pulling for you. You can do this partner!

thomas11 07-12-2018 07:22 AM

Bite the bullet Horn and go to rehab, it might save your life and your marriage and everything else. Surrender/acceptance, it becomes much easier. You're fighting what for most of us is a losing battle. Rooting for ya.

Dee74 07-12-2018 04:56 PM

Have you started over yet Horn? :dunno:

D

Horn95 07-12-2018 05:24 PM

Yep. It will be IOP. Then back to AA

Delilah1 07-12-2018 08:18 PM


Originally Posted by Horn95 (Post 6952651)
Yep. It will be IOP. Then back to AA

That's excellent news, when do you start?

Rar 07-13-2018 03:03 AM


Originally Posted by Horn95 (Post 6952651)
Yep. It will be IOP. Then back to AA

Excellent Horn! I'm sorry you relapsed, but really glad you're not giving up. Hang in there. When do you start IOP?

Horn95 07-13-2018 05:44 AM

I start the IOP on Monday. I am not drinking though.

yinzer 07-13-2018 06:19 AM

Way to go, Horn!


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