ScottFromWI

Glad to year your aren't drinking Mummy. I think one thing you need to try and reinforce is that no matter what happens with your family, or anything really, drinking will always make it worse - guaranteed. Making a new plan sounds like a good idea to get started, do you have any thoughts on what you might change?

You seem to respond well to the support you receive here, so maybe you could make a promise to yourself today that any time you feel the urge to drink, you come here first? Write it on a piece of paper or on the home screen of your phone. You mentioned yourself that you chose to drink, so why not give yourself some reminders that you can also choose not to drink. Same thing - write it down on a piece of paper or on the fridge or on your hand if you have to. It can be as simple as "I will not drink today, no matter what".

I think you also need to take a serious look at setting some boundaries with your family. For example, if someone does something to upset you, don't contact them. Whatever the issue is can wait. If things get too bad, you can even block numbers or just put your phone away for a while so you don't see messages. But the bottom line is that there will always be stress in our lives, so we need to first learn healthy ways to face our problems without turnig to alcohol.

Mummyto2

Thanks, ive come off social media, my trigger is thinking about me dad who I loved so much, recently family have been trying to find information about other family members and it set me off

biminiblue

I'm sorry you lost your beloved Dad. I am certain that if he loved you he would not want you to suffer with alcoholism.

One of the things that helped me turn from sorrow and grief to acceptance and gratitude was to think of them looking down on me and wanting the best for me. All of my family has passed now, so I imagined them all praying for me to get it together!

I decided to honor them with a good life instead of destroying all that was good in my life.

lessgravity

Ah very good to hear that you are not drinking. In the end that's all that matters - the rest of life is still going to be there, pretty, ugly or something in between.

Mummyto2

In the last letter dad wrote, because the alcohol thing is in the family, he said look after your children I love you and don't drink, I obviously didn't listen

lessgravity

It hurts. My father has been hoping in his heart of hearts that I finally quit drinking.

The best way to honor your father then, would be not to drink.

Mummyto2

Less gravity give your father that wish, how I crave to be able to give my dad that now

biminiblue

You can give him that now.

lessgravity

I am. And, like you are going to, I'm giving it to my kids as well. And, most importantly I think, finally giving it to myself.

Dee74

Hi Mummyto2

I posted a plan to a recovery action plan in another of your threads - did you get that?

The other suggestion I have is maybe it's time to get out of your own theads a little and check out some others?

Try the Class of July support thread,m or the 24 hour commitment to sobriety thread, or the weekender thread?

it's good to get involved with, and help, others as they help you

D