Depressed and suicidal
 

Hello I’m not going to say my name because I am not sure if this is completely anonymous or not but I’m only 19 and I live in America and obviously I’m drinking underage, but I know I have a problem and I’m not sure anyone else knows but me. I used to just drink socially but my mom just got diagnosed with cancer and I’ve been very sad. Last night I had my friend come over to talk with me and drink with me and he ditched me when I had a gun loaded and put to my head and it feels like there is nobody there for me. I thought I could tell him everything in which I did but he left when I was suicidal and honestly I’m coming here as a last resort to get someone to tell me that I have something to live for. I’ve never even posted on any forum or any site to be honest. I’m just hoping someone can reach out to me or text me. I just don’t know what to do anymore I’ve tried everything. It’s so hard to find someone that actually gets me. I hope this is a site I can trust. I’m not denying anything. I’m addicted to alcohol. I drink to rid myself of my problems. And yes, maybe I’m 17 beers deep right now but it would just be nice to wake up and have someone there for me and care for me. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense but I just need someone, anyone.

Hi and welcome the excitingkid :)

You don't have to tell us your name or any identifying details and you only share what you want to share :)

I can promise you this is a safe place to be :)

Drinking bought out the despair in me too, but it sounds like you could use some help today - have you considered maybe calling a crisis line, as well as posting here?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html

Whatever you do, don't make lifetime decisions based on the way you feel right now after drinking.

Things can and will get better, Posting here is the first step :)

D

Please call this number right now: 1-800-273-8255

Your mother needs you and your help. She's sick and you're her son. Dump out whatever booze you have and give a trusted person the gun..just get rid of it!

Welcome Kid, it is good you came here. I had a pretty rough time in my youth. By your age I had few friends left and was not far off being locked up. Alcoholism was my problem and I suppose the greatest harm it did to me was cost me all my opportunities in life.

The good news is there is hope. I woke up one morning, one of many, feeling a lot like you do, and called for help. I was 22 then, and never took another drink after that day. Back in those days I was one of the younger ones, but now we have folks recovering in their early teens. It's like once no one though a young person could run into addiction problems so quickly, but now we know different.

You could try some of the local help lines. Maybe try AA and see if there is a young peoples group nearby. I go to one back in my own country and it always impresses the hell out of me how delightful these folks are, and how they look out for each other. It is a pretty wonderful group.

Thre is help available, you are not on your own. Keep posting here too. We'd love to try and help.

There is no more hope for me anymore. Life isn’t worth it anymore

That's the beers talking.. Toss that gun on the roof of your house and get some sleep,bud.

You’re an amazing person for reaching out. You really are. I thank you for your support but I don’t know if anything can stop me.

Dial that number I posted and throw the gun out. That'll at least give ya some space.

Edit: Everyone here is cool and understanding as hell! You came to a good site!

just keep talking to us theexcitingkid.

Nearly everyone of us here has been at the level of despair you are.
There is life after addiction and it's a good one.

Hang onto that cos it's a promise :)

Maybe its time to consider going to bed?
I found no matter how bad things seemed, they always looked better in the morning.

D

Thanks for the replies everyone. Y’all are good people. This a a good site. It’s been a good life

These fine folks and court ordered AA saved my life,man. I have a very good life that I've worked 20yrs for and I had a gun to my head one night about 2yrs ago. Lowest point of my life, including waking up in jail a few times. There's nothing in this life that can't be overcome with some caring help from others that have been there before and gotten past it.

Hello tek,
I'm so glad you posted. I'm wondering if there is more to your story that is making you sad and/or depressed...if you care to share.

Also, I second the advice from earlier posts: Get rid of the weapon, pour out the booze and get some sleep and/or continue to talk more about what's bothering you.

You may not realize this, but your post probably just helped someone.

It will be a good life again - maybe even tomorrow - and beyond too.

Have faith - not in a religious sense but in the power of community and humanity - sites and communities like this can change lives :)

D

Hey there. I won’t even comment on the alcohol because I have no room to right now, but my mom had cancer when I was 5. It sucks hardcore. I won’t pretend it doesn’t. I get it 150%. I also promise that it does get better and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It gets easier. Reach out to me anytime.

I am amazed by the support of this site. Thank you everyone I can’t thank you enough. You may have saved my life. I just don’t know how to get out of this pit I’m in.

I’m 19 now and I’ve been depressed/ suicidal since I was 9. I’ve had a very hard life. It’s very hard to tell anyone this but my sister was molested when she was only 9 years old by my stepdad. I’ve told almost no one about this. No one cares about me in my real life. There is one thing being there for someone on a website, but it’s another to be there for someone in person. I hope this is a website that doesn’t judge because I just told one of my life secerets on the Internet

Please get rid of the gun, dump the alcohol, drink some water, and go to bed. There is so much for you yet in this life and you can come back from everything you feel now. Please don’t do this.

Hi Kid

I'm so glad you have come here to seek help. I'm so sorry about your Mum it must be such a shock for you but there are ways to help you through it and you should definitely explore them. I know things feel hopeless right now but they aren't, the beers that you have had are just making everything seem worse. Please, please put that gun away somewhere safe, get a huge glass of water and some sleep. You can get lots of help here and there's always people around to talk to. Sending you huge hugs and love.

Heli

I didn't know how to get out either - I was 40 and drinking all day every day from wake up to pass out and had been doing that for about 5 years.

Lots of binge drinking before that.

I took things a day a time to start with - that was eleven years ago :)

I'm sorry about your mom. I lost a good friend to cancer.

I'm glad I was able to be sober and there for him - I really consider that whole experience a gift.

I'm sorry about your sister too. You'll find people here, survivors, of stuff like that too.

Hope to see you around some more, Kid :)

D

There's no judgment here. Sometimes there may be some 'harsh truth' about one's drinking,but it's not judgment at all. Stick around and seriously look for some face 2 face support aswell. As Stellablu stated; "You may not realize this, but your post probably just helped someone." That someone was me. I was asked 9mo ago to speak at a 'newcomers AA meeting',but I wasn't there mentally. I still had some personal crap to work out. I now have plans for next Fri night. Thank you