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Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome.
You can get sober. Read around the site, you'll see a lot of folks who struggled in the beginning, but developed a plan, got help, changed their lives in a manner to support their decision to quit--And got sober.
You can get sober. Read around the site, you'll see a lot of folks who struggled in the beginning, but developed a plan, got help, changed their lives in a manner to support their decision to quit--And got sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
Welcome, gothicrose! Of course you can do it. As mentioned above, you need a plan that involves the suppprt of people who understand addiction. You also have to truly have made the decision that enough is enough, and my drinking days are over.
It’s normal to struggle in the beginning; I don’t know anyone who hasn’t. I still struggle; I have days where I think “one can’t hurt” and other sick thoughts. In these moments I call someone and seek immediate accountability.
There is so much knowledge, experience, and support on this site. People share openly and are here to share their experience with you! Welcome!
It’s normal to struggle in the beginning; I don’t know anyone who hasn’t. I still struggle; I have days where I think “one can’t hurt” and other sick thoughts. In these moments I call someone and seek immediate accountability.
There is so much knowledge, experience, and support on this site. People share openly and are here to share their experience with you! Welcome!
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Goth,
Ime...getting clean was a mystery. Making a plan, talking to folks, working steps etc...wasn't explaining the hell I felt.
When I craved booze early on, I ate. Until I was full. I drank sugary drinks to substitute.
It worked, but there was still suffering. It took several months of suffering before it started to get easier.
It is not a mystery. There is brain damage from the booze. The brain has to heal and rewire. This takes years.
Along the way, we can enjoy life sober. It is usually fun after about a month. But, the crave is for life. I crave daily.
I relapsed, unknowingly, so many times that I had severe agoraphobia for at least 6 months. I still have some, but I am very used to it.
Imo...it is all science. You have to go through hell to get clean.
Thanks.
Ime...getting clean was a mystery. Making a plan, talking to folks, working steps etc...wasn't explaining the hell I felt.
When I craved booze early on, I ate. Until I was full. I drank sugary drinks to substitute.
It worked, but there was still suffering. It took several months of suffering before it started to get easier.
It is not a mystery. There is brain damage from the booze. The brain has to heal and rewire. This takes years.
Along the way, we can enjoy life sober. It is usually fun after about a month. But, the crave is for life. I crave daily.
I relapsed, unknowingly, so many times that I had severe agoraphobia for at least 6 months. I still have some, but I am very used to it.
Imo...it is all science. You have to go through hell to get clean.
Thanks.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,702
You can do it. Once you decide that you want and need to be free from the addiction to alcohol you take action. Get rid of all the booze in the house and find a healthy drink to have when you are thirsty. Stay clear of your usual drinking places and make note of your triggers. These are the people, places, things, emotions, etc. that make you want to pick up that first drink. Keep reading these posts to educate yourself. Stay with us for support.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Gothicrose 
I need help getting started on my recovery. I don't know where to start or if I can do it
first thing to get started is wanting to get sober.
next step is to be willing to go to any length necessary- be willing to do whatever it takes.
yes,you can get sober. if i could do it you can,too.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Welcome, gothicrose. You have come to the right place for advice, support and hope from people who really understand. You can certainly do this--sobriety is not a mystery but it requires planning, hard work, and dedication to yourself. I hope you stick around here, read lots and formulate a plan. Wishing you all the best with your sober journey.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Welcome GR. I hope you stick around. This place plus AA has helped me to stay sober and learn to LIVE sober in recovery for just over 4 years now.
I came here because I finally realised that alcohol was more detrimental to my life than it was helpful. But did I want to get sober and stay that way? Nah, not really. If I'm honest I came here and even went to my first AA meeting hoping someone would tell me I don't really have a problem, and if I do x, y or z then I could learn to drink like a normal person. (Like I ever really wanted to do THAT!!! Lol. I just wanted to have the alcohol without the consequences). My self perception was all bound up in me as a drinker. I really couldn't imagine who I was going to even BE without the booze, and that was proper scary. So, it was important that I had some support so I could lean into that fear and not just run back to my faulty old security blanket alcohol. The experience, strength and hope of other people kept me going when I didn't have any of my own.
Here are some of the tips that made my journey possible and bearable for me...
HALT
It makes a big diffrence to me if I plan to avoid HALT triggers as much as possible. Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired. All these things can make people slightly less stable and patient, and when I'm on a slight wobble my addictive thinking could get quite rampant. Sometimes avoiding the triggers can be as easy as eating regular healthy meals and carrying a snack with me for emergencies for hungry. Making sure I have my phone on me and not isolating for lonely. Getting the rest I need (not just sleep, but also down time or leisure). And angry sometimes means staying away from certain people, or just making the decision to not get involved in avoidable disputes, and choosing an "oh well" response rather than my old Miss Angry one (apparently the world has kept turning without me sticking my oar in). Obviously, life happens and I have to deal with all of HALT at some point or another, but it makes sobriety more comfortable for me if I can make those times the exception rather than the rule.
A DAY AT A TIME
Our power is in today. We have no control over the past or the future. My mind kept leaping from the past to the future and rarely stayed in the moment, which made me ever so anxious (not that I recognised it as anxiety initially, I thought I was going insane, and as it got worse I thought that there was something wrong with my heart, and then both). Simple mindful breathing exercises helped me to work past the worst moments, and reading the AA Just for Today card each day (as necessary) really helped... https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&so...qSgIlWmt6GzmDL
GRATITUDE
You'll hear a lot of people talking about gratitude on here. Ive found that it really does help. I like the 365 Gratitude app as it gives me a way in on the days when I'm feeling more grumpy than grateful. The grumps soon melt away after uve completed my daily gratitude.
CONNECTION
I read somewhere recently that 'The opposite of addiction is connection'. The more I've thought about this the more true I'm finding it. I did a share at an AA meeting in the week, and every person who shared back mentioned some kind of connection that had been important in their recovery. Whether is was in AA, or with sober friends outside AA, reconnecting with friends and family that they'd become estranged from through drinking, being more connected to their immediate community through activities or volunteering or whatever.
Once I send this I'll probably think of others, but I'm slow at waking up today.
Anyway. Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. Please do keep reading and posting.
BB
I came here because I finally realised that alcohol was more detrimental to my life than it was helpful. But did I want to get sober and stay that way? Nah, not really. If I'm honest I came here and even went to my first AA meeting hoping someone would tell me I don't really have a problem, and if I do x, y or z then I could learn to drink like a normal person. (Like I ever really wanted to do THAT!!! Lol. I just wanted to have the alcohol without the consequences). My self perception was all bound up in me as a drinker. I really couldn't imagine who I was going to even BE without the booze, and that was proper scary. So, it was important that I had some support so I could lean into that fear and not just run back to my faulty old security blanket alcohol. The experience, strength and hope of other people kept me going when I didn't have any of my own.
Here are some of the tips that made my journey possible and bearable for me...
HALT
It makes a big diffrence to me if I plan to avoid HALT triggers as much as possible. Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired. All these things can make people slightly less stable and patient, and when I'm on a slight wobble my addictive thinking could get quite rampant. Sometimes avoiding the triggers can be as easy as eating regular healthy meals and carrying a snack with me for emergencies for hungry. Making sure I have my phone on me and not isolating for lonely. Getting the rest I need (not just sleep, but also down time or leisure). And angry sometimes means staying away from certain people, or just making the decision to not get involved in avoidable disputes, and choosing an "oh well" response rather than my old Miss Angry one (apparently the world has kept turning without me sticking my oar in). Obviously, life happens and I have to deal with all of HALT at some point or another, but it makes sobriety more comfortable for me if I can make those times the exception rather than the rule.
A DAY AT A TIME
Our power is in today. We have no control over the past or the future. My mind kept leaping from the past to the future and rarely stayed in the moment, which made me ever so anxious (not that I recognised it as anxiety initially, I thought I was going insane, and as it got worse I thought that there was something wrong with my heart, and then both). Simple mindful breathing exercises helped me to work past the worst moments, and reading the AA Just for Today card each day (as necessary) really helped... https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&so...qSgIlWmt6GzmDL
GRATITUDE
You'll hear a lot of people talking about gratitude on here. Ive found that it really does help. I like the 365 Gratitude app as it gives me a way in on the days when I'm feeling more grumpy than grateful. The grumps soon melt away after uve completed my daily gratitude.
CONNECTION
I read somewhere recently that 'The opposite of addiction is connection'. The more I've thought about this the more true I'm finding it. I did a share at an AA meeting in the week, and every person who shared back mentioned some kind of connection that had been important in their recovery. Whether is was in AA, or with sober friends outside AA, reconnecting with friends and family that they'd become estranged from through drinking, being more connected to their immediate community through activities or volunteering or whatever.
Once I send this I'll probably think of others, but I'm slow at waking up today.
Anyway. Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. Please do keep reading and posting.
BB
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: North of the UK (one of the cold bits)
Posts: 672
Hello and welcome to SR gothicrose 
The first step is admitting that you need help - congratulations, you're in the right place to gain all of the help and support you'll need. Do you already have any idea's of how you'd like to move forward in giving up alcohol? Yix x
The first step is admitting that you need help - congratulations, you're in the right place to gain all of the help and support you'll need. Do you already have any idea's of how you'd like to move forward in giving up alcohol? Yix x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Rar
Excellent post BB. Which 365 gratitude app do you use? I see several on my phone.
BB
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Originally Posted by Berrybean
Ummm. I'm not sure. The icon is a black circle with a red outline, and '365' written in white in the middle. I've just got the free version of the journal at the moment. The home page is the daily reflection, there is a calender, a gratitude community, a gratitude jar, and you can upgrade to Gratplus by paying a little, which I may do in future.
BB
BB
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Rar
Got it. Thanks. I'm not so keen with all the journaling my first day gave me, but I'll see how it plays out.
BB
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