Fearlessat50

It’s been over a year since I opted for the sober journey. Don’t know why but feeling extremely sad. Feeling lonely like there is no one I can relate to at all inThis lonely world

Free2bme888

Fearless. Have you made no sober friends found any interesting activities in the past year?

Are your friends and family not supporting you, and your choice for life?

Post here often, read often on these posts. The more you put it, the more you’ll get out of it .

Glad to see you on here and welcome back

least

I'd suggest seeing your doctor for possible causes for your sadness. Might it be depression? Worth a check up to find out.

Berrybean

You know, I heard someone say somewhere that the opposite of addiction is connection. And that has proved very true to me over these last 4 years. The times when I've felt low was when I wasn't reaching out. Why not mark your one year sober with a resolve to add some connection into it. Maybe getting to some AA meetings (some of my closest friends I met in AA), reading and posting more on here, getting involved in yiur community in new ways would be good as well.

Congrats on a year sober.

BB

Dee74

I'm sorry you feel that way fearless - what other things have you changed besides not drinking?

D

Dejvice

Sorry your feeling sad, hope it passes.
On the other side, it could be a lot worse if you weren't sober.
Try making a list if all the good things that happened to you since you became sober.

ChloeRose63

I am 7 months sober and feeling alittle emptiness and sadness, too. Maybe we can help each other out. Right now I am trying to rediscover what really makes me fulfilled. So much of my pretend happiness was spent beng intoxicated. Now, I want to have some true and real happiness. Is that how you feel, too?

entropy1964

I relate. I have chosen to really narrow my world this past year. Staying sober is the single most important thing to me so that means a lot of things had to go by the wayside. I know its not forever and when I choose I can change my circumstances. So can you.

But for me I've been very focused on my home (needs lots of work), my child (needs lots of love and will be leaving for Uni in 1 year), my health (needs lots of, well, everything). For now I'm content. The next 6 months or so will determine where I'll be in another year. The uncertainty is unsettling but I can manage if I remember acceptance. If I don't end up moving I will end up going back to work. So there is change on the horizon.

I know that goal setting (simple goals) helps me. Is there anything you would really like to do, get involved with, travel to, etc?

MissPerfumado

Hi Fearless. This can be a lonely world. I often think, we are born alone and we die alone. All we ever truly know is ourselves.

Nevertheless, the social connection is the most important thing about being human. Why else would we be born into these physical vessels, with these incredible sensory connections to the outside world, with the partiality to love and empathy that we are born with? Have you ever looked at babies and watched as they grow to understand their relationship to the world around them? It's quite miraculous.

Becoming sober is a bit like being born again. We need to learn about our connection to the outside world, inhabiting a sober mind and body. Could you start reaching out, bit by bit? A smile here and there, a friendly word, a little story about yourself ... these can do wonders. Starting to see people as they are ... isolated humans all getting by in this big world. Connecting with one of your fellow humans is amazing and although not every connection may be positive, in time it all adds up to a better human experience.

Fearlessat50

Agree! I need a mental health check. Thank you. I will plan to come back here more regularly too. It helps!

Fearlessat50

[QUOTE=Berrybean;6946585]You know, I heard someone say somewhere that the opposite of addiction is connection. And that has proved very true to me over these last 4 years. The times when I've felt low was when I wasn't reaching out. Why not mark your one year sober with a resolve to add some connection into it. Maybe getting to some AA meetings (some of my closest friends I met in AA), reading and posting more on here, getting involved in yiur community in new ways would be good as well.

Congrats on a year sober.

So true. I’ve head that before too. Isolation and loneliness can definitely lead to addiction and it has for me in the past. I need to remind myself this is a trigger and get out there and connect with healthy people. Problem is I haven’t been making friends with sober people. Hanging with the same old crowd. I don’t feel tempted to drink around them and comfortable with them drinking around me. But somehow it makes me feel off and like I don’t completely fit in. Especially when they are getting hammered around me and don’t know themselves how to drink in moderation.

Fearlessat50

Thank you, ChloeRose. Yes, I do feel this way. I am going through his identity crisis and need to find myself again. I need to also connect with more sober people like you. I need to get back to what makes me feel happy and peaceful -exercise, meditation, cooking, painting!

Fearlessat50

Thank you so much for all of your deep thoughtful comments. Each one of you is right and has made me reflect a bit today on what is really going on with me, and what I need to do to stay on track. I definitely need to get back to coming here regularly and being part of a sober community. . Happy Friday!

rascalwhiteoak

Lots of helpful suggestions; I've also been feeling a little bit flat lately and this is just what I needed to read

Stayingsassy

If anything, you are not alone in these feelings. Especially here, but I think you 'd find lots of people feeling this way in the non recovery world, too.