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Behappy1 07-04-2018 09:54 AM

I’m sorry doesn’t seem like enough. I hope you fight this, just like you’ve fought your addiction and helped others so very much. Stay strong - have you looked into anything holistic? My good friend’s husband has cancer and is finding much help from the website Chris beat Prayers for you and your family Gilmer.

Gilmer 07-04-2018 09:56 AM

I am coping with the news (and putting my family at ease) with humor—particularly Charles Addams macabre-style humor.

Not really sick and creepy macabre—just maybe a droll kind of “warped.”

Gilmer 07-04-2018 10:00 AM

Originally Posted by Behappy1 (Post 6945128)
I’m sorry doesn’t seem like enough. I hope you fight this, just like you’ve fought your addiction and helped others so very much. Stay strong - have you looked into anything holistic? My good friend’s husband has cancer and is finding much help from the website Chris beat Prayers for you and your family Gilmer.

Thanks, Behappy. I will look at the website.

I am just naturally eating cleaner lately; I seem to have lost my sweet tooth and wild lust for junky carbs. I had a bag of potato chips in my cabinet for almost two months—ordinarily it would have been devoured in two days!

I take a lot of herbal supplements too, like gingko biloba and turmeric with capsaicin.

biminiblue 07-04-2018 10:02 AM

Your irreverence is disarming! I'm not ready to assign these terms to you! Too soon!!!!

Bless your heart. RobbyRobot really exemplified dying with dignity. I guess I'll see if I can pull it off when it's my turn. Probably sooner than later at my age.

I have a friend who I graduated high school with (in 1972) who still doesn't get that we are closer to the end than the beginning. Whatever works for him, I guess.

Pathwaytofree 07-04-2018 10:19 AM

Oh my gosh, Gilmer. I am so sorry. This is such a shock. Please let us know if there's anything we can do. My thoughts and prayers are with you. :grouphug:

PhoenixJ 07-04-2018 10:34 AM

Well that sucks Gilly.
As ever- you handle yourself with grace and dignity.
My experiences pale into comparison to such shite news, but perhaps I can offer something to you.
Grief will have it's time...a although there are plenty of good theoretical tools, like E Kubler-Ross's stages of grieving...grief is unpredictable...I would feel angry, then humourous then fearful..all in one minute. I had a mental shock- a numbness to emotions that crept in after a while..then memories would put themsleves in the mix.
For me- professional support was good- even if for no other reason, having someone listen who was not connected to the grief I felt. For times past, what may be etcetcetcetc.
I can offer no words that explain adequately what you are going through and will not try ...
you have my empathy, compassion, prayers and support- as ever.

Stayingsassy 07-04-2018 10:46 AM

Hello Gilmer,

I'm so sorry you've gotten this news. I hope you're not experiencing too much pain or discomfort. It seems really soon but you might consider giving hospice a try. some of these best, most interesting people I know work hospice and you might enjoy the support and visits even if you're not needing the practical stuff they have to offer for awhile. Plus you wont get better pain management anywhere else.

I love your irreverent attitude. It makes more sense to look at life and death that way! While you're feeling ok, make sure you do some of the things you've wanted to do, within the bounds of your endurance and comfort.

Pm me if you need to talk.

FormerBeerLover 07-04-2018 10:51 AM

Gilmer :grouphug:

Obladi 07-04-2018 10:53 AM

Gilmer, I'm sorry to hear this news. My thoughts are with you.


Linners820 07-04-2018 10:58 AM

Big hugs to you. :grouphug:

suki44883 07-04-2018 10:58 AM

Gilmer, I am so sorry to hear this.
I really have no words other than that.
I am so sorry.

Meraviglioso 07-04-2018 11:10 AM

Oh Glimer, I am glad you are feeling humorous and light but I'm crying. This is one of those reminders to tell the people you love that you love them often and early, we say the nicest things about people when they are gone. So I tell you now that you have been such a kind, calming presence for me here. You always seem to have something insightful to say and you always say it kindly. This means so much to me as I am sure it does to others. You have truly helped me with your words and your presence here. I always seek out your posts and always appreciate it when you respond to mine.
Take care of yourself and do start doing some things you've always wanted to do. Make the most of this time.
As others have said, please let us know if we can help in any way. Do you want mail? Daily jokes? Book recommendations? 1000 films to see before you die recommendations? Anything, you name it.

Healthyandsober 07-04-2018 11:20 AM

Gilmer :grouphug:

venuscat 07-04-2018 11:30 AM

I am sure I will be of more use to you when this sinks in, but right cannot even breathe. Completely shattered.

2ndhandrose 07-04-2018 11:37 AM


Shedding tears.


StellaBlu 07-04-2018 11:54 AM

I am very saddened to hear your news. You are an incredibly strong and resilient person. I have only cyber known you a short time but I feel you are a kindred spirit and a role model for me. Your posts always give me great comfort and are filled with wisdom and insight.
Sending you lots of love.

Gilmer 07-04-2018 12:25 PM

Thank you all so, so much!

I am very moved by your kindness.

Meta, I would love a list of movie recommendations! My brain is like a sieve—as soon as I think of a movie, it falls out of my head.

PJ, I don’t think your experience is “less” than mine at all! You suffered immense physical and emotional pain, and I haven’t suffered a thing at this point!

I have a very funny beard story that you’re sure to appreciate.

My son-in-law has a picture-perfect beard. It is his pride and joy—but he has a tradition that every time his company gets a new contract he shaves it.

Two days ago they won a very big contract, so sure enough, he shaved.

It had been a couple of years, so he was kind of shellshocked by the transformation. On the drive to work he couldn’t stop craning his neck to look at himself in the rearview mirror. He craned extra hard while stopped at a red light; his foot fell off the brake, and he rear-ended the car in front of him! :lmao

Fortunately for him, there was no damage! :)

Vinificent 07-04-2018 12:25 PM

So sorry this is happening to you and wishing you a miraculous recovery. Kick cancer's arse like you kicked alcohol's!

WeaverBird 07-04-2018 12:26 PM


thats all i've got

Lord, in your name, I call for healing for our friend Gilmer :hug:

Gilmer 07-04-2018 12:34 PM

PJ, I see a psychiatrist regularly for med management of my bipolar II disorderósince I suspected the cancer, Iíve started using her for counseling.

She is excellent.

StayingSassy, the oncologist has already turned me over to the palliative care doctor plus hospice. I hope to have a visit from them soon.

I canít say enough good things about hospice. They were a Godsend when my dad was declining with heart problems and dementia, not just for him, but for me and my family, too.

It will really bring us great peace of mind to be under the protection of hospice!

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