Been some time for me...
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Been some time for me...
You don’t have to be curious to ask a question. You can be uncomfortable and ask the same question.
What does it feel like to be an addict? To want drugs or drinking?
When I answer and you’re uncomfortable you look away. Curious people don’t look away. They want to see your answer as well as hear it. But that’s ok. I respect the question regardless of it origins. To me the answer doesn’t change. The meaning is steady. My purpose to explain is forthright in all cases. The question is less about me and very much about the person asking. They say to themselves am I like you? Could I be like you? The answer for me is always yes, you are and you can. But thats not the answer they want to hear. No. They want to hear there is some mysterious reason for the condition that will never come to prey on them like it has me. That my internal issues are the effect and the cause.
I respond the same… It feels like hell. A betrayal of your own mind and more so of your own heart. I would say its painful but that’s just an after thought. A mere side effect of the condition.
I proceed to tell them that all conditions can change. By your own hand or by circumstance, it can change and most certainly does. For better or for worse it always changes because nothing stays the same until you’re an addict that is. Addicts stay the same. For much longer than they want to be. Addiction is the most steady element of the human condition that can exist. A stasis of a kind. You stop when you start and you start when you stop.
Change happens when you want it to happen. That’s the simplest form of recovery that I know.
K
What does it feel like to be an addict? To want drugs or drinking?
When I answer and you’re uncomfortable you look away. Curious people don’t look away. They want to see your answer as well as hear it. But that’s ok. I respect the question regardless of it origins. To me the answer doesn’t change. The meaning is steady. My purpose to explain is forthright in all cases. The question is less about me and very much about the person asking. They say to themselves am I like you? Could I be like you? The answer for me is always yes, you are and you can. But thats not the answer they want to hear. No. They want to hear there is some mysterious reason for the condition that will never come to prey on them like it has me. That my internal issues are the effect and the cause.
I respond the same… It feels like hell. A betrayal of your own mind and more so of your own heart. I would say its painful but that’s just an after thought. A mere side effect of the condition.
I proceed to tell them that all conditions can change. By your own hand or by circumstance, it can change and most certainly does. For better or for worse it always changes because nothing stays the same until you’re an addict that is. Addicts stay the same. For much longer than they want to be. Addiction is the most steady element of the human condition that can exist. A stasis of a kind. You stop when you start and you start when you stop.
Change happens when you want it to happen. That’s the simplest form of recovery that I know.
K
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Hi Anna and Scott!!! So good to see you both. Things are well here though the post seems rather ominous. Just reflecting is all.
This place saved me and I come to read often to remind myself.
Ken
This place saved me and I come to read often to remind myself.
Ken
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Originally Posted by bandicoot2 
Hi Ken, it's so great to hear from you!!
Very early in my sobriety, one of your posts really resonated with me and I'm so grateful that you wrote it. Thank you.
Very early in my sobriety, one of your posts really resonated with me and I'm so grateful that you wrote it. Thank you.
Hi Bandicoot! Glad I had words to help. My first days here I read and read and read some more. Hope you are doing well!
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
To answer your original question: What does it feel like to be an addict?
Before you realize your addiction, it's a joke.
Once you realize your addiction, it feels like hell. Daily hell. Not afterlife hell, daily hell.
Before you realize your addiction, it's a joke.
Once you realize your addiction, it feels like hell. Daily hell. Not afterlife hell, daily hell.
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