AWald88

Hi All

I have not relapsed or slipped recently (day 72). However I was wondering if from your collective experience you could answer a few questions.

I have noticed that this year since I have quit drinking on the 2 occasions where I have drunk I have found myself allowing myself to get a lot drunker than I usually did before.

For instance prior to quitting I was able to drink in a fairly controlled manner 90% of the time. With the remaining 10% (increasing over time) being occasions were I had allowed myself to have one or two extra drinks resulting in me having to skip work (we have a daily breath test with a limit of 0.00%).

On the 2 times I have slipped I have been unable to stop drinking ending up vomiting then drinking more. Or on the last occurrence drinking for 2 days straight. Which is not something I had done often before.

It makes me wonder does quitting make the problem worse in the short term especially on relapses? My question is, is this normal in your experience?

Dee74

Alcoholism is a progressive disease.

Every time I quit for a period longer than a week (my record was 2 months) I'd go back to drinking and do some of the most destructive drinking ever, It was like I was literally trying to make up for lost time.

A friend of mine went back to drinking after 20 years and found the same - craxy destruction....wife kids job all gone in the space of one week.

If people sometimes find other members here 'too serious' this is exactly why.

Big stakes.

D

mistory5

Yes. What you described happens to me
also everytime I stop and pick up again. I read somewhere in a book called Under the Influence that this experience is called Kindling few years back. I didn't start experiencing this until this year after aloholically started drinking in 2004. If I remember, its a sign your body is really backfiring on you. U can find out more by looking up kindling online I think I spelled it right. Actually, I need to look it up again myself because definitely think it has happened to me.

AWald88

Thanks I found an article I can't post the link as I'm a new commercial however just add the prefix (recoveryfirst.org/blog/the-kindling-effect-of-addiction/)

AWald88

Thanks everyone. It's just strange that it happens. I can see why the religiously minded think of it as a demon.

ScottFromWI

Yes, there are a lot of things about addiction that don't make sense. Fortunately, if you don't drink you don't have to worry about any of them though! Congrats on 72 days, that's a great accomplishment.

Wastinglife

I was sober for 6 months a couple years ago. Had a couple beers one night and then I was off to the races. Drank like I never had that break.

least

Yes, the stop-and-start cycle is very hard on us and the withdrawal gets worse. If you never drink again, you won't have to feel this badly again.

mistory5

ty!!!🙂

Rar

Yes - my last relapse was 53 days ago (after 112 days). The first day I drank, I only had two beers, then managed a few alcohol free days. The 2nd and 3rd days I drank, I was up to my highest amount. It was as if I never stopped.

PalmerSage

I've never had a "slip" (what I might consider one sip or drink and then back on track). I've had plenty of relapses, where I'm able to moderate at first, but then I'm back to my old ways in no time at all. Things always continue to spiral downward.

thomas11

I definitely was guilty of that. Try to cut back or moderate, works for awhile and then the bottom falls out and its pure stupidity for a day or two.

lessgravity

Yes. It's what I call the floodgate theory - just a couple drops cross the dam and then I'm drowning, with only the craving for more more more.

Never want to endure that again.

Like Scott says, you never have to.

72 days is awesome.

DontRemember

I don't drink anymore,BUT *IF* I were to, there would be one goal..total oblivion. So...I just don't 'go there' or play with it.

Edit: I think to the reason I drink to 'oblivion' when I drink is; I know I shouldn't/can't drink 'normal',so in a sick/twisted sense I 'punish' myself for drinking at all..if that makes sense? LOL

tomsteve

i know a man that was sober 20+ years and went back out drinking. fortunately he was only out there a month.
words he said i hope to keep in my mind:
"i didnt pick up where i left off. i picked up as if i never stopped."

Jim1958

I can seem to make it long periods at times but then have a several day bender. I thought I could get better without meetings but now I don't think so. I want a long term solution. And no more hangovers.

AWald88

Awesome responses, thanks. It's good to know I'm not the only one. 😀

AWald88

I can relate to that. For me it was never every day or even every time I drank. But when the urge came it came hard.

I dont have experience with meetings but if what you've tried before isn't working what do you have to lose by trying them?

Verdantia

Hey, AWald88. 72 days is brilliant. I started drinking again after 15 years of sobriety; it was a horrifying ride and at the end I had alcoholic hallucinosis, complete with horrifying audiovisual hallucinations and seizures--that didn't happen with my first quit. when I relapsed again after 3 years the first day I drank ended with my car wrecked and me nearly dead. It's just anecdotal but for me kindling is a real phenomena.

AWald88

Scary stuff, thanks for sharing.