rustygolf

made it through day 2 and going to bed completely sober.

Dee74

good for you RG

D

bunchie

Hi everyone glad I found this website, been a crazy drunk for years, primarily a binge drinking alcoholic, I lied to myself for years since I did not drink everyday I thought I was not an alcoholic, but for the past 2 years I really gave it some thought and realized I am, I have been fighting withdrawals for years in between binges , usually 2 or 3 heavy weekend drunks. Sometimes drink on Monday , you know the saying the hair of the dog, well Wednesday , I work graveyard shift came home was offered beer at 630 in morning, thought I would have a couple then go to bed, I ended up drinking till 1030-1100 pm , I blacked out completely from 830-1100 I have no recollection of driving , or cooking a pizza in my oven when I got home, my wife showed me the mess. She said I passed out on counter in kitchen right in front of kids. I have had partial blackouts before this was my first total blackout. I am so guilt ridden right now , I really feel like avoiding everyone and everything. The anxiety and shame I feel is killing me. It is time to stop. I am afraid to go back to bar and apologize, I usually do not become mean my wife said I could hardly talk so I can't imagine them serving me or 3 hours. I willing to bet I was shutoff and the thought of that is terrifying , I was a regular there it's a nice place , I am sure people from town saw how drunk I was , this episode has brought me to sober recovery and as meetings. Thank everyone involved with this forum I have been reading posts all day.

Minion09

Welcome to the July class Bunchie! Lots of encouragement and support here!! Heck, we all have stories, many similar to yours, some far worse some less... BUT, we’ve all been there! Glad you’re here! The guilt is rough, but it tells us we need to address the thing behind the thing that leads us to the breaking point, the things that drive us to drink to the levels we do. Stick around, read lots of posts of people who completely understand and post. Be easy on yourself as well, besting yourself up only adds layers. One day at a time, maybe even one minute! 🤗

Be123

Hi everyone

Checking in for first time. I’m not counting days but need all the help I can get

Still, today’s a good day and I don’t need to drink alcohol

Boracraze

Morning, everyone. I have posted previously. Had a few stints of being AF since the New Year, but also slipped a few times. Nothing bad has happened....yet. I’d like to join up in the July class. Look forward to following your journey and mutual support.

biminiblue

Welcome, Ben123 and Boracraze.

Juno11

Since I last posted...

SoberWolf - Kudos and warm congrats on 5 years. It's amazing to see and I hope we can all tap into your inspiration!

RollMeAway - I hope you made it through. Sugar cookies are good!

Tynesider22 - a ride to the coast sounds wonderful. I was just in the UK last month (Wales) and miss it so much!

Mirrorball - I totally know what you mean about relapse dreams. I think I woke up yesterday with a sense of shame like I had done something wrong as well, and I had to shake it off. I guess it's normal and okay for this to happen and we can let it go and know it's not real.

BobDrop - thanks for the reminder about the options for grocery shopping. I have to do things to make my life easier and need some "shortcuts" at times. Deliveries are a great idea.

Cando24 - I'm with you on the conflict thing. I don't do well with conflict and it puts me in a bad frame of mind. Thank you for reminding me that conflicts are an okay part of the human condition (and certainly nothing to drink over!)'

Sober369 - Hunger is a big trigger for me as well. The danger time is right after work for me when my blood sugar drops and I'm ready to eat dinner. I have been trying to eat earlier, too, as it totally takes away the desire for wine for me.

Treebeard - a hike sounds great! Congrats on Day 13!

ForMe27 - Stress is also a HUGE trigger for me, probably my biggest. Something to work on for us both.

RustyGolf2 - congrats on getting through Day 2. That is huge. I remember how happy I felt when I got my 24 hour virtual chip!

Dee - hi and hope you're doing well!

Bunchie - I read your story and can really feel for you. I totally get the feeling of shame and embarrassment. I also had that feeling after my last relapse. It will get better, day by day, and you'll start to let go of those negative feelings. Hang in there with us!

Minion09- Thanks for your upbeat support and words of wisdom. You're leading the pack here and doing great!!

Ben123 - Welcome. Yes, I'm with you - we do not need to drink alcohol!

Boracraze - Welcome to the group. July is a good month for a reboot

I'm here on Sunday morning hoping for a better day today. I had a bad day yesterday with a pretty big conflict with my 19 year old daughter. I won't go into the details here, but it kind of messed up my relaxed weekend vibe. I'm hoping for a better day today and hope to take my two boys to see Antman. I'm on Day 7 and closing in on one week which feels good. I'm determined to start this week on a better note than last, which was totally hungover, sick and miserable. Anything bad can be made worse when drinking, and I have to keep reminding myself of that fact.

I hope everyone has a good day!

rustygolf

Pretty proud of myself for yesterday. We had a big party planned at our house and I just kept pouring diet sodas. Funny thing is that no one cared or seemed to notice. Or they couldn't tell there was no booze. I have a bunch of running around to do today, so it should keep me busy. Hope everyone does well today.

bunchie

Thank you for the words of encouragement they really mean a lot to me coming from people who know what I am experiencing right now, it's funny I talked to a buddy who is sober 5 years and he told me at least you feel the shame and guilt , he said to stop now as well because the blackouts will become more common and a lot worse could happen. I just don't know what to do about the bar I am too embarrassed to go back and apologize , I am terrified to hear what I may have said or done , most people told me if you paid your tab which I am preety sure I did because I knew I had 160.00 dollars when I went in there because of ATM slip, and I woke up with 60. Veteran AA people told me if you honestly are going to stop drinking do not go back because they might tell you a white lie and tell you , you were fine , and then you might feel better and relapse or they could tell you to never come back and explain to you you were really an ******* and this could out you into more depression and anxiety. The bottom line is to stop.

Zombie79

Back again after a while.....

Day 1 and as usual, I'm skint and I've a pretty bad stomach

Got to over a month last time I really tried and then just gave up....so back here to be accountable.
Just been pottering about, taking the dog for walks...

DebT

7-11 is my first sober day. I like that as my lucky number and somehow feel attached to keeping it as my sober anniversary. I know it's silly, but it somehow matters. I have been reading Women for Sobriety books and recently began attending some AA meetings. There are no WFS meetings near me. I feel quite a bit better. The first night was hell. My dreams were so bad I was afraid to go back to sleep. Last night was the first I slept peacefully. Certainly don't want to start over on that!

PaigeMasters

Hi Juno!

How is the weekend going with your kids??

RoverVA

I am in. Looking for the Dry rest of July.

M3r3

I am in. Day one again. I hope this is my last day one.

Be123

Goodnight , going to bed sober. I don’t know which I prefer - going to bed or waking up sober

I’ll check in on the morning

mistory5

Im still dry in July...day 14!

Lascaux

Day 1 for me (sigh... again). Feels like a long Sunday without a 3 hour post-drinking nap, I'm watching Netflix and doing some journaling, making plans to do better this time.

Juno11

Hi Paige, thanks for checking! I only had two of my kids this weekend, so it was more manageable. Still a lot of dishes and food preparation, but all okay here! I have to be realistic though, it is summer and I do have all 3 kids around, so the level of chaos can pick up at anytime. This week I will start out with only one kid, but could end up with all 3 by end of the week... we'll see. (they also spend time at their Dad's house). How about you - how was your weekend?

I'm about to take all 3 kids to see Antman. I'm pretty excited because I like doing things with all 3 and there are so few things that they all like (movies is one common ground), and also because I really don't like Sunday nights. When I was doing my heaviest drinking a few years back, I drank wine on most Sunday nights because it felt like an empty zone - a void - that I had to fill. I managed to get out of the habit and find other things to do on Sunday nights, but I still really don't like them. Last Sunday I relapsed and I understand the feelings that led to it. This Sunday, we go to the movies

Welcome to all the new folks - it is so nice to see so many people committed to quitting in July!

TeeJayVerm

^ Me too. My 5th attempt will be the charm!

I should have known better last night. I was driving and was experiencing motion sickness. Naturally, alcohol made it worse and I am feeling the aftereffects today. (Second time this has happening in the last couple of months.)

Also, I ran out of my prescribed med on Friday and contacted the doctor's office and forgot their closed on Fridays... so I don't have the fallback of treating my anxiety with the medication.

Fortunately, I can just chill here at home... watch baseball, do breathing exercises, pet the cat, and drink water. I'll do more reading on this forum tonight as the vertigo and anxiety symptoms continue to improve.