Mental health and addiction and marrage I have multiple diagnoses including borderline personality and bipolar 2. Many doctors and therapist have told me both are very similar so I am aware. I was in what I called a "remission" from cutting for almost 10 years. However, almost 2 and a half years I met my husband and on March 3rd I found out he was an alcoholic. He was living a double life. I broke. He got out of rehab and rejected me. On Monday it will be 3 weeks since we've spoken. It's killing me. During our relationship he got into a head on collision due to alcohol. No one knew. So he had a TBI. He kept drinking but no one knew. Then he had a seizure and we all found out he's an alcoholic. We got him into rehab. I took care of him through thick and thin. My father died of cancer yet I still took care of him. My horse of 22 years passed but I still took care of him. I delt with doctors, nurses, insurance people, social workers, the government, planned our wedding, was his family communicator, moved in with his father, and did it all with love. We were a team. I supported him mentally. I could go on and on. So how does he need a break? How does he not love me anymore? How can he just look at me like I'm crazy? How can he tell me he cant hold my hand bc it's akward? How does being an alcoholic give him a free pass? |
Originally Posted by Caryhansen
(Post 6941228)
I have multiple diagnoses including borderline personality and bipolar 2. Many doctors and therapist have told me both are very similar so I am aware. I was in what I called a "remission" from cutting for almost 10 years. However, almost 2 and a half years I met my husband and on March 3rd I found out he was an alcoholic. He was living a double life. I broke. He got out of rehab and rejected me. On Monday it will be 3 weeks since we've spoken. It's killing me. During our relationship he got into a head on collision due to alcohol. No one knew. So he had a TBI. He kept drinking but no one knew. Then he had a seizure and we all found out he's an alcoholic. We got him into rehab. I took care of him through thick and thin. My father died of cancer yet I still took care of him. My horse of 22 years passed but I still took care of him. I delt with doctors, nurses, insurance people, social workers, the government, planned our wedding, was his family communicator, moved in with his father, and did it all with love. We were a team. I supported him mentally. I could go on and on. So how does he need a break? How does he not love me anymore? How can he just look at me like I'm crazy? How can he tell me he cant hold my hand bc it's akward? How does being an alcoholic give him a free pass? |
It would appear that he wants to drink more than he wants to be with you. :( It seems as if you've been the one putting in all the effort in the marriage, he seems to have little invested in it. :( Being an alcoholic does not give him a 'free pass' for unacceptable behavior. |
sorry to read what brings you here. there isn't anything in your post that would indicate that you were a team. maybe you left out some things that he did to benefit you so I won't judge. it does sound like he has made up his mind tho. take care of yourself. unfortunately these things happen. |
Do you have anyone you can talk with and who can give you some emotional support right now Cary? For someone with BPD this must be extremely difficult. Please keep checking in with us. |
Originally Posted by Caryhansen
(Post 6941228)
I have multiple diagnoses including borderline personality and bipolar 2. Many doctors and therapist have told me both are very similar so I am aware. I was in what I called a "remission" from cutting for almost 10 years. However, almost 2 and a half years I met my husband and on March 3rd I found out he was an alcoholic. He was living a double life. I broke. He got out of rehab and rejected me. On Monday it will be 3 weeks since we've spoken. It's killing me. During our relationship he got into a head on collision due to alcohol. No one knew. So he had a TBI. He kept drinking but no one knew. Then he had a seizure and we all found out he's an alcoholic. We got him into rehab. I took care of him through thick and thin. My father died of cancer yet I still took care of him. My horse of 22 years passed but I still took care of him. I delt with doctors, nurses, insurance people, social workers, the government, planned our wedding, was his family communicator, moved in with his father, and did it all with love. We were a team. I supported him mentally. I could go on and on. So how does he need a break? How does he not love me anymore? How can he just look at me like I'm crazy? How can he tell me he cant hold my hand bc it's akward? How does being an alcoholic give him a free pass? Have you considered AlAnon at all? It might be worth googling and trying some meetings in your area. BB |
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