Snufkin....Snuuuufkin, c'mere.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Meh can’t sleep... My ex is up, getting ready for a nightshift... good that I’m off today. I’m still not feeling well.
Thank you PJ.
I want to visit my family because of my brother (he’s very ill, he’s dying), my parents and I don’t really talk and even if I was honest with them, I’d never treat them as my ‘counsellors’. I think it would be good to visit old places and stay somewhere else for a while, because well... I have no clue what to do with myself.
I wish rehab was a possible option for me, but it’s not. I can’t get anything through the NHS but a mountain of antidepressants.
Thank you PJ.
I want to visit my family because of my brother (he’s very ill, he’s dying), my parents and I don’t really talk and even if I was honest with them, I’d never treat them as my ‘counsellors’. I think it would be good to visit old places and stay somewhere else for a while, because well... I have no clue what to do with myself. I wish rehab was a possible option for me, but it’s not. I can’t get anything through the NHS but a mountain of antidepressants.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Ohh great... my ex (??? or whatever we are now) and I just had a massive argument, because I left a plate on his computer desk (that’s one of his OCD clean areas), so he threw that plate at me, missed my head by an inch, I went mental and we started screaming at each other.
It’s gonna be a great day.
It’s gonna be a great day.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Ugh it’s 12pm and I just woke up. I have a lot of tidying to do today because our landlord is coming tomorrow to see if anything needs to be repaired etc (we’re moving out in two weeks). And this place is such a mess now... seriously, it’s disgusting.
Ex came back from work and apologised about the plate. I said it’s OK. I don’t want to argue anymore.
I’m restless... I had these dreadful nightmares about my teenage years and now I can’t stop thinking about it all.
Take care everyone. Thank you all for being here.
.
Ex came back from work and apologised about the plate. I said it’s OK. I don’t want to argue anymore.
I’m restless... I had these dreadful nightmares about my teenage years and now I can’t stop thinking about it all.
Take care everyone. Thank you all for being here.
.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,449
Love you honey. Nightmares always plague me when I drink.....well, they did.
They will go away.....try not to dwell on them too much.
Sorry about the fight....lucky he missed.
Lots of stress and it comes out....hopefully you can make a good team now and clean up the place together. It doesn't need to be perfect today: just presentable.
And you need to eat. And drink water.
And did you treat your cuts love?
And yes, big sisters are a pain in the butt....and you kind of inherited me.
They will go away.....try not to dwell on them too much.
Sorry about the fight....lucky he missed.
Lots of stress and it comes out....hopefully you can make a good team now and clean up the place together. It doesn't need to be perfect today: just presentable.
And you need to eat. And drink water.
And did you treat your cuts love?
And yes, big sisters are a pain in the butt....and you kind of inherited me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Thank you Suze.
Ehh it’s gonna take me forever to tidy. I better start now, but I can’t get out of bed.
I still need to shower, I haven’t even looked at my cuts since that night, I know I have to treat them but I really don’t want to. I wish I could shower with my clothes on.
Ehh it’s gonna take me forever to tidy. I better start now, but I can’t get out of bed.
I still need to shower, I haven’t even looked at my cuts since that night, I know I have to treat them but I really don’t want to. I wish I could shower with my clothes on.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You have so much on your plate.
Meetings sound good. So does the Samaritans, honestly.
All these big changes...it would be tough for anyone. I'm with kev, though. Still carve out time to do nice things for yourself.
Antidepressants can really help if you find the right one: they aren't all the same. Of course, that's just what I hear, I've never found one that was worth it to me. Keep searching for solutions. You don't have to feel this bad, and there is a way out.
In the meantime, can you go to a library or bookstore and find a book in the self-help section that seems to speak to you?
Meetings sound good. So does the Samaritans, honestly.
All these big changes...it would be tough for anyone. I'm with kev, though. Still carve out time to do nice things for yourself.
Antidepressants can really help if you find the right one: they aren't all the same. Of course, that's just what I hear, I've never found one that was worth it to me. Keep searching for solutions. You don't have to feel this bad, and there is a way out.
In the meantime, can you go to a library or bookstore and find a book in the self-help section that seems to speak to you?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: North of the UK (one of the cold bits)
Posts: 672
Sorry I haven't been around but we've lost yet another person here. Please, please don't add to that number Snuf. Life is honestly too precious to leave this Earth without fighting to live in it. I know you're hurting sweetheart but not being here, not living to see all of the wonderful things that can be yours just around the corner if you let them is also tragic and painful - for you as well as those who love you so much.
I'm not sure if either of the links below (MIND & SeeMe, both based in Scotland will help any).
https://www.supportinmindscotland.or...lp-in-a-crisis
https://www.seemescotland.org/stigma...ons/self-harm/
With you. Yix x
I'm not sure if either of the links below (MIND & SeeMe, both based in Scotland will help any).
https://www.supportinmindscotland.or...lp-in-a-crisis
https://www.seemescotland.org/stigma...ons/self-harm/
With you. Yix x
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Originally Posted by Snufkin 
Bim, I think I found just the right book for me. 
I'm sorry - I have a poor sense of humor...
I'm looking into it just now, but gosh there are thousands of self-help books... I guess I just have to pick up a few.
I'm sorry - I have a poor sense of humor...
I'm looking into it just now, but gosh there are thousands of self-help books... I guess I just have to pick up a few.
I think I might have that book somewhere...……….
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,449
I know what you need love....these came out in the 70s.....some of us older people will remember these.... 
Actually, I have never seen a silver one before....I think I need one of these.
They are called round tuits.
For those of us who have difficulty getting around to it....
Actually, I have never seen a silver one before....I think I need one of these.
They are called round tuits.
For those of us who have difficulty getting around to it....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,449
Well, you know how hard it is to get around to stuff....like cleaning the flat....and people say I will get around to it....
around to it = Round Tuit...... just a silly joke.
around to it = Round Tuit...... just a silly joke.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,449
Start with picking stuff up.....clearing the surfaces makes it all SO much easier...
then put a wash on.....then the dishes.....the wipe stuff down and sweep the floors.
Done.
then put a wash on.....then the dishes.....the wipe stuff down and sweep the floors.
Done.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
Just tidying up goes a long way, Snuf, to making you feel better about your surroundings.
Concentrate on yourself, first and foremost, today. Have a good long shower, clean/medicate and bandage your wounds, have a small meal.
Save the cleaning for when your bf gets home and can help with the heavy stuff.
The Samaritans could be a really good option, Snuf. Here, The Salvation Army does some really fabulous work and, I believe, the Samaritans are very similar (off to read up on them).
Sending you love.
Concentrate on yourself, first and foremost, today. Have a good long shower, clean/medicate and bandage your wounds, have a small meal.
Save the cleaning for when your bf gets home and can help with the heavy stuff.
The Samaritans could be a really good option, Snuf. Here, The Salvation Army does some really fabulous work and, I believe, the Samaritans are very similar (off to read up on them).
Sending you love.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Thank you so much Leigh. You are a wonderful friend, and I appreciate your love, kindness and support so much!
I rung and emailed Samaritans a few times in distress, and I have a huge respect for them considering they’re all volunteers and what they’re doing is so kind and amazing... but *personally* I’ve never found them helpful, mostly because I have problems expressing my thoughts or I simply refuse to talk when I’m anxious, and you know... they’re here to listen. They don’t know what’s in my head and they can’t help me when all I can do is cry and mumble.
You are a wonderful friend, and I appreciate your love, kindness and support so much! I rung and emailed Samaritans a few times in distress, and I have a huge respect for them considering they’re all volunteers and what they’re doing is so kind and amazing... but *personally* I’ve never found them helpful, mostly because I have problems expressing my thoughts or I simply refuse to talk when I’m anxious, and you know... they’re here to listen. They don’t know what’s in my head and they can’t help me when all I can do is cry and mumble.
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