Relapse Why?
 

I am 55 days sober from a 5th of Vodka daily.

I just got back from a session with my therapist.

The therapist said i am going to relapse a few more times until i am done drinking or end up dying from drinking?

I told the therapist i have already relapsed over 7 times in the last 10 years.

Not sure about the therapist's logic?

That seems like an incredibly negative comment from the therapist. Have you given him the idea you're likely to relapse? I don't believe that relapse is part of recovery. It can be, of course, but it doesn't have to be.

Congratulations on 55 days of sobriety!

Yeah, time for a new therapist.
But honestly I don't really have any experience with any.
Seems to me they should be positive though.

That doesn’t sound like very positive point of view. Prove him/her wrong my friend. You can do it.

Have you given your therapist any reason to think you would relapse? Seems odd to just bring it up. Not a very positive thing to say either. :(

Congrats on nearly two months sober! :) Keep going, it gets better. :hug:

I agree with all the comments here, and I too am curious about more context of the conversation. Also, is this particular therapist from a general psych background, or do they specialize in AODA (Alcohol and Drug Abuse)?

Could be that they were trying to be realistic in their perspective, but on the other hand, I see how they could come off in a confusing and negative way with that comment. Hard to say!

Yep, sounds like time to find a different therapist. They are people too and some of them have no understanding of addiction at all.

Congrats on 55 days - you can keep that streak going indefinitely if you choose!

Fifty-five days sober from a fifth of vodka a day? That in itself is a miracle. I hate it when those guys make me into a generic person to fit into their statistics. They go by numbers and patterns. That sucks.

I'm believe relapse is part of my past alcoholism, not my recovery :)

Odd thing for a therapist to say. Maybe it made more sense in context but I kinda doubt it.

Up to you of course, but I wouldn't be going back if they'd said that to me.

D

I would give that therapist a big hug because she just bought me at least 2 more months of sobriety. My Oppositional Defiance Disorder would kick in and I would stay sober right up in her face!

Two more months of sober time on top of 55 days - that might give me enough time to figure a few things out.

Best of Luck on Your Journey! :ring

Said exactly what I was thinking too. Thanks!

Sometimes my character defects have a positive outcome. Stay sober to prove him wrong!

As others have said - time to find a new therapist.

First, 55 days is awesome.
Second, what Scott says above is very true- my awesome pyschiatrist does therapy as well as Rx and she is an addiction specialist.

Third- and related to my comments about my psych- we don't have much context for the comment made, but I took it in a more neutral to constructive vein: perhaps she is trying to emphasize the direly progressive nature of this disease. Ie, it will ultimately kill you if you don't stop.

I don't believe relapse is a part of recovery; it can be, but it is not a given.

I do believe that compassionate yet REAL talk from a professional, when communicated effectively, is at times exactly the right tact. If I hadn't actually HEARD my (liver dr, actually) when he told me I had a year, 18 mo to live if I didn't stop - I might not have stopped when I did, at 39. He gave me the sh*t talking to of my life, and my GP, psych and he dealt me the hard truth, which I had to face.

Multiple relapses, over whatever course of time, are simply not good for us - statistically in our chances for permanent recovery, for our bodies, for the progression of our disease.

Perhaps your therapist was trying to tell you that stopping now- you are sober, and that means you have a chance this time- is what you need to do.

Best to you - keep going and I truly believe that you can do it this time if it's the most important thing in your life.

Why would anyone say something like that unless there is more to this than you are telling us. It is quite common that a sponsor, for example, will see someone making a mistake they have seen before, perhaps a mistake they made themselves, and they may share that when they did or didn't do whatever it was, i.e. ignored a suggestion, they got drunk. The sponsor might say "I felt like that too, and when I tried it, it didn't work out too well". Gently sharing experience.

A therapist doesn't have that option. They are the expert in whatever their therapy is. They may or may not have personal experience, but they will be trained, so they will likely be more direct and say if you don't or won't fallow the plan, you will probably relapse.

Both sponsor and therapist have probably seen whatever is the issue many times before. The message seems to be around the concern that you still don't have a grasp of how deadly serious your situation is and are therefore showing reservations about the treatment model.

Just a wild guess.

AA experience is that relapse is not necessary but sometimes, as in my case, it is the only way to remove the reservations.

did the therapist specifically say
"You WILL have X more relapses before you get sober"
or did s/he say something more akin to
"Often those attempting recovery experience a few relapses before it finally takes"
or perhaps did the therapist say something like
"you probably only have a few more relapse/recoveries in you before the drinking wins out and kills you".

we can very easily twist our interpretation of what others say.

Perhaps the therapist was concerned with the tone or content of something that you said.

More context would be helpful, especially if the therapist was speaking in response to something concerning that you said. I’m not in the fire the therapist camp because I’m not sure of the full context. Maybe you posted here because the therapist ticked you off and you wanted justification to stop going? I don’t know, and maybe they’re just a negative idiot. It’s in your best interest to really parse what happened in that session and be honest with yourself. The you’ll know what decision to make.

It is hard to say, not being privy to the entire session with your therapist; however maybe the therapist saw things in your behavior and comments that raised red flags in their mind.

When I relapsed at 6 months out of rehab, I was desperate to get back in. I called my counselor in a panic and his short to the point answer was "No" followed by "What would you learn this time that wasn't presented the first time?".

He told me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. Perhaps your therapist is coming from the same point of view. It is difficult to say with just a condensed one person account of the therapists comment.

I am just trying to see it from the other side with an open mind.

Then choose not to relapse.

~Bunnez