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Time to make 100% commitment

Old 06-28-2018, 11:48 AM
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Time to make 100% commitment

Hello (and sorry about the length),

New here, but I have lurked for some time. Seeing the genuine support offered by so many members, who can relate to issues with alcohol, really made me feel like joining would be a good tool to add.

Some background, have always had an issue with binge drinking since college (40yo now), my wife started voicing concerns 3-4 years ago, and I canít say the thought had not crossed my mind. I got some help through therapy, tried AA but never felt like a fit, and had about 2 years sober. Then a story I have read here before, I slowly had a drink or two a couple times and that eventually got back to an unacceptable levels. I had stretches for weeks or more than a month of sobriety over the last few years, but wasnít willing to acknowledge I was back on a slippery slope.

Anyhow, I drank heavily over the last weekend, hid it from my wife, then acknowledged the deceit, and have accepted the real problem, I can not drink again. I am pretty down because there is a real chance my wife may leave me, and I know that is up to her. In the meantime, I have already seen my primary care doc, re-scheduled therapy, and have finally acknowledged my issues with those closest to me.

This is miserable right now, but I know I have to be all in for myself and my family. Just typing this out has made me feel a little better, so thanks to all in advance.
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Old 06-28-2018, 11:55 AM
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Welcome to the posting side of things Osu2002. Glad you've decided to reach out for help and I think re-engaging with your therapy and doctor is a great idea as well.

What happens between you and your wife is certainly up to her to some extent, but showing your commitment to quit and following through with it will certainly reflect positively. Actions speak much louder than words as they say!
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Old 06-28-2018, 12:04 PM
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Thanks, I have always grappled with anxiety (shocking), but have gotten better at using it in positive ways.

With my wife, I hope you are right. I have broken her trust with alcohol before and I can not make empty promises. I have resources available and just need to use them, worst case scenario I get better for myself and my daughter.

I keep repeating that last part to myself...
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Old 06-28-2018, 03:45 PM
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Welcome Osu2002

I believe it's never too late to change and things are never too black for hope
Glad you've joined us

D
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Old 06-28-2018, 05:57 PM
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welcome, Osu.
looks like you are making a great start on following through!
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Old 06-28-2018, 06:10 PM
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Thank you for the responses, reinforces why I made the decision to join. I only have 2 days sober so far, and know there will be a ton of work to be done.

I saw my therapist today, talked about a lot and opened up. Concerns, what went wrong, where I had failed, etc. Some of it was very tough, but productive. I was given an option of an intensive outpatient therapy, got a ton of feedback on what it was and why she thought it could help. Does anyone have any experience or feedback? My thought is that it canít hurt to get more help, but I am a little worried about insurance or work, I know HIPPA should provide protection, but I am a worrier by nature.
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Old 06-29-2018, 09:03 AM
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no personal experience with IO, but lots of people here have.
do a forum search here for the terms IOP (i think), or maybe start a new thread with a title inviting experience?

in any case, if you trust the therapist and her input on why it would be helpful, go for it.
many other options, too, though all involve discomfort/fear of various kinds.

never lose sight of the fact this is doable.
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Old 06-29-2018, 06:05 PM
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Hi Osu, so glad you decided to post! I'm not sure if what I did was considered "intensive," but it was outpatient group therapy a few times a week, for about an hour or so each time. This was years ago, during the first time I decided to seriously quit, but I found the experience extremely helpful. Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions!
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Old 06-29-2018, 06:11 PM
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I've never done IOP but did do counseling for several years and it was a great help. As far as your medical records, they are supposed to be private so I wouldn't worry about it. Get all you can out of the IOP and add to your sobriety toolbox so you can stay sober no matter what!
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Old 06-30-2018, 07:17 PM
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how are you doing, Osu?
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Old 06-30-2018, 07:33 PM
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Originally Posted by fini View Post
how are you doing, Osu?
Doing well, all things considered. My wife and I are separated, I miss her and my daughter like crazy. I pray she will give me the chance to prove myself through action. I am accepting that these are the results of my actions, neither one of the asked for or deserved my sickness.

BUT, I have taken action and developed a plan. I had already met with doc and therapist, and today went to AA and had a very good experience. Still considering IOP, calling on Monday to get more info. I caught myself getting wrapped up in anxiety and decided take action, which is how I decided to go to AA, I was pretty proud of myself.

Also, there has not, and will not be any drinking
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Old 06-30-2018, 07:35 PM
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Thanks for checking up, BTW, it really means a lot. I have family close by, who have been extremely supportive, so I havenít been online as much, but I will keep checking in daily.
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Old 07-01-2018, 12:52 AM
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I really hurt for you and your separation from your wife and daughter, I know that pain. There is always a chance that you can turn that around by your positive actions but it will take time. In the meantime remember that the worst possible thing you can do is drink. It sounds like you recognise that now. Keep it in the forefront of your mind. We are all here for you in good times and in bad, reach out any time.
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Old 07-01-2018, 04:23 AM
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OSU, I did do an IOP 4 years ago next month. For me it was life changing. I had been in therapy and my therapist suggested it. I felt very uncomfortable at first but gradually began to dig in and really listen and share. I learned some incredibly valuable techniques to use when feeling tempted. They work. After about 8 months I did have a one-night slip and immediately went to see my therapist who gave me a prescription to help. It wouldnít have worked for me when I was trying to quit but did make a difference in the several months following my slip.

I have my life back - and my self respect.
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Old 07-01-2018, 09:06 AM
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