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Weekender Thread 28th June to 2nd July 2018

Old 07-01-2018, 05:48 PM
  # 301 (permalink)  
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Leigh, I’m sorry you’re struggling so. I hope the steroid kicks in soon.

MantaLady, is there a higher up you can lodge a grievance with about this unprofessional staff member?
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Old 07-01-2018, 06:03 PM
  # 302 (permalink)  
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Thanks Trach and Gilmer. I complained to my counsellor who is the first higher up you have to go to. He explained that the guy was very upset about it and was suffering. We are constantly filled with talk that all addicts are selfish and think they are the most important person in the world and we need to learn compassion for others etc. So I feel a little manipulated into letting this go and the onus is put on me as the selfish addict to be some kind of perfect Buddha in all this. I dunno, maybe I am just talking crap.
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Old 07-01-2018, 06:09 PM
  # 303 (permalink)  
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Being "one of us" doesn't mean being a victim. That staffer was a schmuck.
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Old 07-01-2018, 06:13 PM
  # 304 (permalink)  
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I'm sorry. I'm getting pissed. Someone paid to be there can't control themself and management is making excuses? Fire them.
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Old 07-01-2018, 06:21 PM
  # 305 (permalink)  
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I feel the same way Trach, if I was a victim of domestic abuse that could have been such a negative impact. Regardless, I said that is one of us clients had acted the same way we would have been kicked out of the rehab and that they should not be employing people who can’t control their temper especially in this environment. But I was encouraged to work through a resentment so I could identify my part of the blame as the addict is always to blame some way lol.
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Old 07-01-2018, 06:32 PM
  # 306 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MantaLady View Post
Hi All, if I had access to anything alcoholic I fear I would be on a bender right now. The urge is so strong and I have gone down a rabbit hole of darkness. I am overwhelmed, withdrawing into my shell, feel very anxious and just want to hide away and drink. My stupid head is trying to work out how I can get some vodka without being found out, what the hell is going on with me?

Had another incident with a staff member as I was told I could get some of my money to pay for the organised trip to the spa. Then when I asked for the money another member of staff was rude, said no and slagged off the staff that told me it was ok meaning I was not allowed to go to the spa as I had no money. I walked off as I realised this guy was not going to be reasonable. 10 mins later the nice staff person came to my room and said the other one had got the rules wrong and should have let me have my money. So I started re-packing my bag to go to the spa. Then another knock on the door and it was the not so nice man, I opened and was pleasant and the first thing he said was “now before you start throwing a big tantrum and spitting your dummy out like a baby” to which I said if that is how you are going to open he conversation I am afraid this convo is over and asked him to leave. He refused to leave, I tri d to close my door and he stepped forward and put his foot in the door and carried on. He is a huge bloke, ex military and it was a bit scary. Eventually I got the door shut and locked but instead of respecting my boundaries he then moved across and started shouting through the window. He’s got PTSD so I am expected to understand that he didn’t mean to do it, but I am now being treated like I am kicking off and throwing tantrums all the time when I am only standing up for myself.

Sorry to keep posting miserable stuff, but I am miserable and just want a drink even though I know it won’t help and it makes no sense.

Xx
Hi my friend Manta

((((Mantalady))))))

I’m sorry you are having a rough time.

Drinking doesn’t solve any problems. You KNOW that

YOU don’t want to drink. That’s why you are a million miles away. Kill the beast. Laugh at it.

Don’t battle it

Say it. “I don’t drink anymore, and I never will”. Uncomfortable the first 10-500 times you say it.

I hope this helps.


😊
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Old 07-01-2018, 06:35 PM
  # 307 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MantaLady View Post
I feel the same way Trach, if I was a victim of domestic abuse that could have been such a negative impact. Regardless, I said that is one of us clients had acted the same way we would have been kicked out of the rehab and that they should not be employing people who can’t control their temper especially in this environment. But I was encouraged to work through a resentment so I could identify my part of the blame as the addict is always to blame some way lol.

We are all just human. Even health care workers. Many people with issues enter ‘caring’ fields of work.

Should not work there, shouldn’t have been hired, should be fired. Yes. Agreed. Does you no good. You are going to meet crazies like him ‘out there’, and want a drink to ‘handle’ it better.

Don’t do it!! Don’t battle the beast.




Free
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Old 07-01-2018, 06:39 PM
  # 308 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Gilmer View Post
Leigh, I’m sorry you’re struggling so. I hope the steroid kicks in soon.

MantaLady, is there a higher up you can lodge a grievance with about this unprofessional staff member?
((((SoberLeigh)))))))😥 please rest and eat.

((((MantaLady)))))😥 please I hope you find peace today.

Gilmer, you are such a great help with your responses
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Old 07-01-2018, 07:19 PM
  # 309 (permalink)  
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((((Mantalady)))) I don’t know how you put up with that, I agree, stand up for yourself, even if the guy is in pain he has no right to treat people so disrespectfully. But don’t drink. You know it won’t solve anything. The guy will still be acting like a jerk and you’ll just have a hangover on top of it all. Not worth it. You’re awesome for being there. I don’t think that having people like him there on staff is helpful for anyone. I hope you can avoid him in future. Sending you hugs and hope for a better day ahead
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Old 07-01-2018, 07:20 PM
  # 310 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MantaLady View Post
....Sorry to keep posting miserable stuff....
No Worries, we are not all puppies dog and rainbows. Post the miserable stuff, you need vent. We are here for each other. We are whole community of addicts and I haven't met a selfish addict yet....

Sorry about your experince. I hope the fellow involved was also encouraged to work through his resentment and identify part part of the blame too.
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Old 07-01-2018, 07:35 PM
  # 311 (permalink)  
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Hi MantaLady

The important thing right now is to not let this rent too much space in your head. Remember your priorities and the reasons you're there.

Thats not saying this is something you should forget or drop - but I think redress will be best served when you leave, secure in your recovery and back home again, where you can make a formal complaint that no one can try and talk you out of or bury under other piles of paper.

D
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Old 07-01-2018, 09:19 PM
  # 312 (permalink)  
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sorry you're having a tough time ((ML))

I remember from my several stints in rehabs that it can be an emotional roller-coaster. you're having to make yourself vulnerable to access your feelings, without the buffer of your DoC & you're with a bunch of other addicts in very early recovery doing the same, all living on top of one another. add in other people, including staff, none of whom are perfect human beings & there are going to be conflicts & flare-ups.

but you know what? these things pass. I know it's easier said than done, but try to let go of them. when you leave rehab there are going to be people who treat you unfairly for no fault of you own, but it's NOT a reason to drink/use. don't hold on to a resentment, it just give the other person free space in your head, & hurts YOU, not them.

anyway, hope you feel happier soon
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Old 07-01-2018, 09:33 PM
  # 313 (permalink)  
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Hey Manta,
That is terrible. I like what Dee said about how much space you let it take up. I feel certain that you have addressed it with your counselor and this man will be minding his Ps and Qs around you! You have goals to reach in there. Do not let this man derail your recovery work. He needs some of his own clearly.

Take charge of you now. Let this day's bad events go. Tomorrow you get up and take the high road. He really is NOT worth your time or energy.
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Old 07-01-2018, 10:01 PM
  # 314 (permalink)  
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Morning everyone, I agree with the others MantaLady, don't let this idiot cause you to drink.

It is so nice I am going to walk to work this morning.
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Old 07-01-2018, 10:49 PM
  # 315 (permalink)  
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Good morning to all the weekenders.
Just got back in from from watering flowers and veg. I love the summer
Off to work.
Later m.
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Old 07-01-2018, 11:18 PM
  # 316 (permalink)  
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Morning, weekenders.

Manta - I knew non-addicts who held life-long PhD in manipulating people and juggling tantrums and passive aggressive behavior, this "suck it up and have all the blame" is total BS.

I am sorry, is rehab supposed to give a person so much stress? Is it ok to hire a person with PTSD, who likely needs help himself, handle situations with people in recovery?

I think that you are entitled to more than just an excuse from his superiors, but a guarantee that you will never be in a situation when a big guy forces himself into your room which is pretty scary. WTF.
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Old 07-01-2018, 11:43 PM
  # 317 (permalink)  
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support manta
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Old 07-02-2018, 12:51 AM
  # 318 (permalink)  
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How much longer is your stay ML?

D
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Old 07-02-2018, 01:23 AM
  # 319 (permalink)  
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I have 10 more days to complete 30 days here, was going to stay for 60 but going to sleep on it tonight and are leaning towards going home at 30 days to be honest. It’s not just what I have posted about before but all this forcing you to speak to the community is getting on my nerves. There are a couple I can speak to but the rest I wouldn’t share anything with. We had a process session this morning where your supposed to say anything that is on your mind if you want to, but the counsellor went round to each person putting them in a position they had to say something. I said was that I had nothing to say and wanted to pass and they kept going on and on and I ended up raising my voice telling them I have told you 3 times now I don’t want to speak. There is too much reliance on addicts helping each other and not enough time with the professionals.
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Old 07-02-2018, 01:40 AM
  # 320 (permalink)  
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There is too much reliance on addicts helping each other.
that kinda sounds like SR tho

None of us are there ML only you know whether another 30 days will be a help or a hindrance.

Whatever you decide I really think it's what you do after you get home that counts

D
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