LunaBlue

I was sober 6 months. My best friend just died and I fell apart. I’m at my parents and they are watching my son. I am laying in bed and can’t get up or stop crying. I hit a parked car, my son was not with me. The day my friend died. The cops know and keep calling me. My lawyer friend said don’t answer. I’m freaking out. I called in to work all weekend. Then today I put in my 2 weeks notice. Bc I hate my job.

biminiblue

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm certain he/she would not want you to lose your six months sobriety because of it, though.

First things first. Get rid of any alcohol. Grief is made infinitely worse by adding alcohol. I know, I did it after my mother and father died.

The accident - I would hire an attorney.

One day, one hour, one minute at a time - you can do this.

teatreeoil007

Aye yi yi...that's a lot of stress to be dealing with all at the same time! Sometimes it feels like when it rains it pours. Tell yourself you will get through this....one moment at a time; one day at a time. I am glad your parents are there to help you. Tell yourself that you WILL get through this. Just think you don't have to go work at a job you HATE. That's good news I suppose. Try not to think too far ahead. I know you are submersed in grief right now....but it's something that needs to be processed one way or the other. Don't be a stranger here and you always have us for support.

August252015

Oh dear- I am so sorry. I did just PM you back but I hadn't read this. Feel free to respond and share or vent or whatever might help. Staying sober today is huge accomplishment enough. Take care of yourself - good or bad those things will still be there to deal with, and I promise it's better dealing with things like that sober.

Hugs.

Caramel

((LunaBlue)) - wishing you all the supportive people you need right now, personally and professionally.
Take care

Anna

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend and that you relapsed. I hope that you can come up with a plan to get back on track.

I'm concerned about the advice to not answer the police's calls. This doesn't seem like it's something that will go away. Have you thought about hiring a lawyer for yourself?

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss LunaBlue - and all the other stuff you have to deal with.

I'd make a priority of stopping drinking - it may be whispering sweet nothings in your ear and telling you its helping - but it's not.

Drinking just keep my wounds fresh I never gave myself time to deal with or get over anything. Consider making from this moment your day one. You'll be glad you did

D

LunaBlue

Thank you everyone. I’m weaning off. I’ve only had one beer today. I can’t go cold turkey, and I can’t go the hospital because I am in the medical field and I know everyone at all the hospitals.

I WILL get through this. It is what my friend would want for me. And what all you awesome people want for me too. And I want it! Sobriety is so much better. I’m almost there.

I will go to a hospital if I need to. My Blood Pressure and pulse are ok now. They weren’t yesterday...very high.

Dee74

I had a very bad last detox that left me with permanent issues.

I'm glad you'll go to Hospital if you need to - I think there are some things even more important than embarrassment?

D

teatreeoil007

Awww, hon. That's a tough place to be. Well, if you're in the medical field you probably know the risks of detoxing from ETOH....so take care...and well....just remember that if you really DO need to go to a hospital, confidentiality is a very big deal! I hope that most people who work in healthcare are not the condemning sort and realize that addiction does not discriminate...it can happen to ANYONE!! But we do understand. This is why many folks who need to be admitted to psyche hospitals often go out of town or on the other side the state at least. I used to work in a psych hospital and I would say that shame and embarrassment can hinder a person from just being their self and being totally open to getting help. Just remember that the folks who work in the area are most likely held to a high standard of not being judgemental and just taking you just as you are....and going from there. I truly wish that the stigma would disappear and I think when/if we ever get there more people can be helped. It was a real eye opener to me when I worked in the psyche hospital....we had people from all walks of life, all ages, both genders. all races..people off the streets and people who were well off, mothers, homemakers, businessmen, professionals, and yes, healthcare workers,etc...all had different and unique needs....we got several folks from out of the region and/or out of state. It taught me a lot about not judging, but just be there as a calm and caring PRESENCE.

LunaBlue

I have been to the hospital before to detox. They don’t even really do detox around here. They did before for me because I have special ties with them.

I know all about kindling. I am aware of withdrawal. I just lost a friend in October to detoxing by himself.

I know they have to be confidential but I’m still scared. It’s a small town.

I had a seizure before out of the blue. I didn’t even think I was that messed up but was in a hotbox apt and could not cool off. I was drinking a beer at the time!

So yeah, I’m scared big time. Thanks for your support. I will keep you posted.

teatreeoil007

Is there any way you can get some time away from work or whatever to go to a different town or region and get some help? I know how small towns can be and how big towns can be like small towns...if you know what I mean...I swear to God our entire state is like a small town...just sayin'....we run into people all the time who know so and so and well, it's a small world...if this is stopping you from getting help that's a shame...as I said before...I so WISH there was no stigma...it's a cryin' shame, it really is...

Dee74

I trust you to make the right decisions for yourself LB

D

LunaBlue

I hate the stigma. I asked my parents to just treat me like I’m very ill. Which I am. I said pretend I have pneumonia or diabetes or cancer and just help me. This will kill me. I’ve been drinking since I was 14. I’m 39. **** people who say this isn’t a disease. I would never wish this on anyone.

LunaBlue

Yes I’m going to try to go 45 minutes away to a hospital. But like I’said they don’t really detox people...there is literally no detox center around.

Ugh my friends funeral is tomorrow. I’m not going. He was cremated anyway. So what’s the point if I can’t touch his hand or whatever. I wanted to see him again for closure. He’d understand.

Dee74

Try and put the stigma to one side and focus on the fact that people recover from this.

You can too

D

LunaBlue

Thank you Dee.

teatreeoil007

I do think your friend would understand and would want what is best for you. It sounds like he was a good person. Sorry for your loss.

entropy1964

Hmmm. Well if the cops are calling you that means they have evidence that you hit and run. The misdemeanor has several levels but if you ignore them they will issue a warrant and that gets messy. I'm not sure why your attorney told you to ignore them but that won't make them go away. I'm surprised they aren't just stopping by your house. Maybe they have but don't know you are at your parents' house. Either way, they have you. If it was a hit and run, parked car, no one in it, its a pretty low level misdemeanor here in the US. But if a warrant is issued you change the game. Get a different attorney first then face the music.

I'm sorry for your loss. Death is hard to handle but it is no reason to drink. Hang in there.

Mango212

Prayer is powerful. One moment at a time.

I see strength in you. I hear recovery happening in you. This, here, where you are is a part of recovery.

I'm glad you're here.