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My ex has died

Old 06-27-2018, 11:39 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by sweetichick View Post
Thanks for all the kind messages. I am as mad as a cut snake. I wanted closure from him or his wives. That won't happen so just need to accept it. Never been treated like this in the past fifty years.
Excuses were my best friend to keep drinking.
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Old 06-27-2018, 11:47 PM
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I agree with Fini and Berrybean that closure comes from us, not from the other parties involved Sweetichick.

My ex wife would still be involving me in all kinds of drama if I let her.

I don't let her. It not even about blame or right and wrong - I'm not sure its a conscious thing on her part.

I like my life drama free or as close as that can be.

Building healthy boundaries is the first step I think.

There are some good ideas here.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-1317...oundaries.html

D

Last edited by Dee74; 06-28-2018 at 02:40 AM.
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Old 06-27-2018, 11:50 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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I'm loath to use myself as an example but the previous post is I think a reasonably good example of sharing experience.

Some of you guys in this thread could do that a little more...and maybe smack a little less?

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(I'm allowed to smack - it's my job)

D
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Old 06-28-2018, 01:51 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Aw sweeti, I know what this is like. I lost my ex in 2010. We were still friends.

I just lost another person I was very close to. He was just in my bed 2 weeks ago, not like that. We were in one of those hysterical moods where we could not stop laughing. My belly hurt and I had to leave the room cuz I was laughing so hard. That was the last time I saw him. I too called his phone and it went straight to voicemail which was unlike him bc he was the king of chargers. I knew something was wrong.

I have been drinking too. Do you have support? Thatís important. Thinking of you sweeti, my heart is broken for us both.
Xoxox
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Old 06-28-2018, 02:15 AM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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Sorry to hear of your loss Luna I hope that you, too - alongside Sweeti, have support around you at this awful time. Whether a person is good for us or bad for us it doesn't alter the fact that they were part of our lives - in some cases for a long time. It may be that they were an utterly toxic person to have around us but we can't change our past, only the future. If a person meant a huge deal to you then, IMO, it's healthy and important to grieve and let them go to move forwards, whether that is the loss of a significant relationship or an actual death of someone close to you. The future is ours for the taking and I hope that you find the strength to throw aside the alcohol as it won't help you to move forward in any shape or form. Life is short and I hope that you both can find peace in sobriety, ideally today. Thinking of you both x
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Old 06-28-2018, 02:39 AM
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I'm sorry for your loss LunaBlue.

D
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Old 06-28-2018, 04:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I agree with Fini and Berrybean that closure comes from us, not from the other parties involved Sweetichick.

My ex wife would still be involving me in all kinds of drama if I let her.

I don't let her. It not even about blame or right and wrong - I'm not sure its a conscious thing on her part.

I like my life drama free or as close as that can be.

Building healthy boundaries is the first step I think.

There are some good ideas here.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-1317...oundaries.html

D
Thanks Dee for that link. I also found an interesting session on breathing. It's all about inside out. Thanks again. Today I just decided to move on. No more crazy behaviour
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Old 06-28-2018, 06:01 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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Sweeti I can't imagine the loss and betrayal you have gone through. To say you care about your ex is obvious but the cruelty of those people is mind boggling. I hope you resolve to steel yourself (to fill oneself with determination and courage) to disengage from their sick messed up antics. Hopefully you pour out any remaining vodka and begin again walking down your sober path. So many other nice people in the world, get to know them. Good luck and God bless you.
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Old 06-28-2018, 09:47 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Sweeti, time to walk away. Walk away from the substances. Walk away from those miserable people who just want to hurt you.
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Old 06-28-2018, 09:59 AM
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I am sorry for your loss.
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Old 06-28-2018, 11:54 AM
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Hi Sweeti,

I'm glad you found some breathing exercises that are helpful. I know your emotions are all over about your ex, and what his wife did was definitely insane/cruel, but you can move beyond their drama and live your best life.

Your past doesn't define you, all you can do is learn from every experience. Maybe you can find some time for a meeting today. You can get sober, and have an amazing next 50 years.

When do you see your cardiologist next?
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Old 06-29-2018, 03:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Delilah1 View Post
Hi Sweeti,

I'm glad you found some breathing exercises that are helpful. I know your emotions are all over about your ex, and what his wife did was definitely insane/cruel, but you can move beyond their drama and live your best life.

Your past doesn't define you, all you can do is learn from every experience. Maybe you can find some time for a meeting today. You can get sober, and have an amazing next 50 years.

When do you see your cardiologist next?
I missed my last appointment due to all the drama. It's the 24 July. Thanks for asking and caring.
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Old 06-29-2018, 03:23 AM
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Thanks again for all the support. I am now feeling better and trying to move forward. Even if my ex is not physically dead he is dead to me. Back to living my own life sober.
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Old 06-29-2018, 04:02 AM
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Thanks again for all the support. I am now feeling better and trying to move forward. Even if my ex is not physically dead he is dead to me. Back to living my own life sober.
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Old 06-29-2018, 05:13 AM
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(((((Hugs to you Sweetichick)))))
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Old 07-01-2018, 09:27 PM
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I'm glad you are feeling better, I am also glad you were able to reschedule your cardiology appointment. Have you been going to meetings? How have you been feeling the past few days?

Sending continues love and strength your way.

❤️Delilah
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Old 07-03-2018, 01:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Delilah1 View Post
I'm glad you are feeling better, I am also glad you were able to reschedule your cardiology appointment. Have you been going to meetings? How have you been feeling the past few days?

Sending continues love and strength your way.

❤️Delilah
Hi Delilah. Feeling much better about my ex and his illness. My cardiology is now in a week. I haven't been well physically but planning a meeting tomorrow night. Thanks for the love and strength.
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Old 07-03-2018, 12:21 PM
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I'm glad you were able to move your appointment up.
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