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Im a mother with small children a wife and im an alcoholic

Old 06-25-2018, 10:11 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Jjb2018 View Post
Maybe try calling at a different time then? Different people man the phones. People do it voluntary, so maybe something was happening in their life / home that night. Nothing to do with not being welcome at AA generally. Not at ALL. It's best to call when you're sober. You won't get much out of the phone call loaded, because you won't remember properly what was said..

I check it from there new website mostly run by the church its alright ill try anyway if makes u sober why not try.. and thank you so much this is actually the first time im being accepted and someone understand what ive been through.for sure ill stay here
Glad you're sticking around.

Just to clarify though - AA is not run by the church. Its run by alcoholics who got sober and want to stay that way. When AA talks of God, they don't (necessarily) mean a Christian / Religious God, but a Higher Power of each person's own understanding. For some folk that might be as simple as G.O.D. = Group Of Drunks, or Good Orderly Direction, or Great Out Doors. For others it's their conscience / integrity. As a Christian myself I often find myself a bit of a rarity in the groups I go to most.

The reason that meetings are often held in churches is that the rent tends to be lowest there, and the places are reliably clean and secure.

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Old 06-26-2018, 12:02 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I am also a mom of 3 small children and also on my day 2 after a few relapses. Your story sounds very similar to mine. I was only sober through all 3 pregnancies and breastfeeding. Iíve taken my toddler to the store to buy alcohol early in the morning as soon as I dropped my other 2 off at school. Today Iím home with the 3 kids because of summer break. They wanted to go get ice cream and I had to say no because I didnít trust myself not to get beer. Iím hoping it will get easier. I need to do this for my health and my kids. My oldest is 7 and at the age where she noticed that I was drinking. The sad part that makes me feel terrible is she doesnít even question it. Sheís growing up thinking itís normal to have a beer or mixed drink in the morning. It all has to stop, I have so much guilt that takes keeps me up every night... after the 3 hours of sleep I get from passing out drunk I wake up and think about what a terrible mother I am. I love my kids more than anything and want to live to see them grow up, that is what Iím thinking when Iím tempted. Iím so glad I opened this thread and saw other parents that are alcoholics like me.. I feel like the only one sometimes
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Old 06-26-2018, 05:58 AM
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Hi im glad u reply my post im so happy u are in day 2 as well.yes its a horrible feeling after the drinking i have a 5yr old and a 7months old i really want to become a good and better me for my family so tired of living the guilt i know motherhood is though but this moment i want to cherrish making memories with them which i could remember.
Lets do it together day 3 for me today
Im really glad i found u here we are not alone now. U take care and pls msg me when u can on this thread i would like to know ur day and il share mine to u we can do it. Isolation of parenting is my major trigger and its not easy.
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Old 06-26-2018, 09:50 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Jjb2018 View Post
SickInlove

Hi im glad u reply my post im so happy u are in day 2 as well.yes its a horrible feeling after the drinking i have a 5yr old and a 7months old i really want to become a good and better me for my family so tired of living the guilt i know motherhood is though but this moment i want to cherrish making memories with them which i could remember.
Lets do it together day 3 for me today
Im really glad i found u here we are not alone now. U take care and pls msg me when u can on this thread i would like to know ur day and il share mine to u we can do it. Isolation of parenting is my major trigger and its not easy.
Yes! Letís do this together, I will keep checking in with you. You can also private message me if you need to talk. I know how hard it can be to quit especially when you feel isolated. I recently quit my job to become a stay at home mom. I was doing well with recovery.. well better than where I was a year ago. A year ago I was drinking a bottle of vodka a day. I got a few weeks sober here and there. Then decided I would just drink beer and wine (my alcoholic brain convinced myself that was better) I went from a 6 pack at night once my husband got home ... to hiding beers and cans around my house. Now that my kids are out of school and I donít have to drive Iím worried if I donít quit it will turn into binge drinking again. This forum helped me a lot last year when I was trying to quit, welcome to day 3 for both of us!
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:23 AM
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Isolation when you are a stay-at-home mom is tough. Are there things in your community that you and your children could get involved in? Public Libraries are often a great source of activities for young children.

Good job on Day 2!
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Old 06-26-2018, 05:01 PM
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[QUOTE=Anna;6938009]Isolation when you are a stay-at-home mom is tough. Are there things in your community that you and your children could get involved in? Public Libraries are often a great source of activities for young children.

Hi anna
Yes there is but when im done that it gives me craving that i want to have a share to like reward for my self for doing i guess a good job...so AV ooohhh u need a drink.
So far im doing alright work home and here
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Old 06-26-2018, 05:14 PM
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wow so real.....I hope you find relief. Your kids deserve it. Just enjoy life for what it is Ö.dinner ...a nice tv show....dessert you get it. I need to follow my own advice lol. I know it's hard...really hard. Hoping you can get control.
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Old 06-26-2018, 06:03 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Hi Jjb and a warm welcome to you! Iím a wife and a mother also, and a recovering alcoholic since January of this year. Your story isnít the same as mine, but just as for all of us here, the parallels and similarities far outweigh the (superficial) differences. You sound exhausted and pretty beaten down, but you need to know this: sobriety is yours for the taking. You can absolutely stop drinking, just as so many have done before you; all you need to do day on day is decide not to drink and stay convicted in that decision. Read and post here frequently, check out a local AA meeting and listen to that voice inside you thatís telling you enough is enough, because itís telling you the truth. Best to you!
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:40 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SickInLove View Post
Yes! Letís do this together, I will keep checking in with you. You can also private message me if you need to talk. I know how hard it can be to quit especially when you feel isolated. I recently quit my job to become a stay at home mom. I was doing well with recovery.. well better than where I was a year ago. A year ago I was drinking a bottle of vodka a day. I got a few weeks sober here and there. Then decided I would just drink beer and wine (my alcoholic brain convinced myself that was better) I went from a 6 pack at night once my husband got home ... to hiding beers and cans around my house. Now that my kids are out of school and I donít have to drive Iím worried if I donít quit it will turn into binge drinking again. This forum helped me a lot last year when I was trying to quit, welcome to day 3 for both of us!
Hi SickInlove
Hows ur day 3 going?? I went to work today seems im happy today that i unload my secret to someone and knowing that im not alone anymore.
Yes same like you the last 2013 to middle of 2016 was the worst of my alcoholism i thought im gonna die. binder mostly like straight7 to 8 days then ill stop how awefull the hallucination is can already hear voices. but then , during that time i never learn its only awefull when withdrawals comes promise no more drinking, after 5days enough i could have strength another 15 to 20 beers a day to the extent i bring alcohol in my coffee mug to work just to sustain the day.my son will be in the daycare after the day my husband will pick us up then continue drinking when we arrive home. my husband never drink i dont know how we survive those years.
Then i started to tapper down theres no such thing as slow or moderation for me.took me middle of 2016 till now struggling to stay sober. Im glad i already pass the process of pink cloud i find it horrible too. Two persons talking each other inside my head and my emotions like i cant even recognize me anymore.
Please lets not gonna drink tomorrow will make to 4days for us for our kids and husbands. We dont need to experience this again.
Hope you and the kids did have a great fun day.
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:46 PM
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Originally Posted by wynwrights View Post
Hi Jjb and a warm welcome to you! Iím a wife and a mother also, and a recovering alcoholic since January of this year. Your story isnít the same as mine, but just as for all of us here, the parallels and similarities far outweigh the (superficial) differences. You sound exhausted and pretty beaten down, but you need to know this: sobriety is yours for the taking. You can absolutely stop drinking, just as so many have done before you; all you need to do day on day is decide not to drink and stay convicted in that decision. Read and post here frequently, check out a local AA meeting and listen to that voice inside you thatís telling you enough is enough, because itís telling you the truth. Best to you!
Hi wynrights
Congrats that u stay sober this far..and for sure u will see me here more often thank u
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Old 06-26-2018, 11:22 PM
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Originally Posted by PalmerSage View Post
Jjb, what you described sounds so exhausting to me (and very familiar, of course!) Are you planning to make today your day 1, or have you already stopped drinking for a bit? We are most definitely here to help.
Hi
Glad to tell you im 3days sober today..been sober here and there longest was during pregnancy last year. Yes that kind of life is so exhausting and i pay cash in daily basis during those times along with my shame and dignity just to have that kind of a lifestyle . Isnt that crazy???
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Old 06-27-2018, 05:22 AM
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Good morning ..time for day 4 we can do it
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Old 06-28-2018, 11:41 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Hey there, Jjb. Congratulations on day 4; you sound very positive and committed to sobriety and that's the attitude you need to succeed. I don't have children but remember well my dad's brutal alcoholism and how he was not fully there for me as a parent. I know you want your kids to have a wonderful life and to be there completely for them.
I drank only beer but alcohol is alcohol no matter the form, about 18 a day. (I am a small woman.) When I quit full stop I suffered those awful hallucinations and had a couple of seizures as well. It was hellish but I got lots of help (I needed it!) and celebrated my 30th month of sobriety last Saturday. I can't moderate either--I have no 'off' switch when it comes to drink. I was about as far down as it gets--now things are not perfect but they are much better, and that's enough. Wishing you all the best on this amazing, sober journey.
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Old 06-28-2018, 07:18 PM
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Hi Jjb- Ten years ago that post could have been written by me. Mother, wife, and closet alcoholic. Hiding can and bottles. A nervous wreck wondering if I will run out and not be able to think up and excuse to get to the liquor store. I've done it. I understand. I seriously have no idea why on Aug 1 2008 I decided no more but boy am I glad I did. I can't believe I almost have 10 years sober. It's so much better. Keep holding on. It is so hard at times but worth it. Good luck.
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Old 06-28-2018, 09:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Verdantia View Post
Hey there, Jjb. Congratulations on day 4; you sound very positive and committed to sobriety and that's the attitude you need to succeed. I don't have children but remember well my dad's brutal alcoholism and how he was not fully there for me as a parent. I know you want your kids to have a wonderful life and to be there completely for them.
I drank only beer but alcohol is alcohol no matter the form, about 18 a day. (I am a small woman.) When I quit full stop I suffered those awful hallucinations and had a couple of seizures as well. It was hellish but I got lots of help (I needed it!) and celebrated my 30th month of sobriety last Saturday. I can't moderate either--I have no 'off' switch when it comes to drink. I was about as far down as it gets--now things are not perfect but they are much better, and that's enough. Wishing you all the best on this amazing, sober journey.
Hi Verdantia wow congrats on ur 30thmonths today i had a cravings today ussually last of day work i started drinking .binge till last night before the next following work but im glad im here i read my post again and again do i really have to go back in that.mess again.. and i read lots here today even i was at work on my break in every chance i can the day has passed and here i am another successful day of sobriety.. with my babies sober going to bed.
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Old 06-28-2018, 09:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Leana View Post
Hi Jjb- Ten years ago that post could have been written by me. Mother, wife, and closet alcoholic. Hiding can and bottles. A nervous wreck wondering if I will run out and not be able to think up and excuse to get to the liquor store. I've done it. I understand. I seriously have no idea why on Aug 1 2008 I decided no more but boy am I glad I did. I can't believe I almost have 10 years sober. It's so much better. Keep holding on. It is so hard at times but worth it. Good luck.
Thank you Leana and congrats on your ten yrs amazing..for sure your family so happy and proud of you..first days off that im not drinking and i could see with my husband eyes he is surprise and my little boys so happy that we went to bed mommy is sober..
Thank you for the support
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Old 06-29-2018, 12:21 PM
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Day 6 here im glad im here

SIckInLove hoping you will comeback and everything is okay
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Old 07-03-2018, 12:36 AM
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I donít know if it will help. I usually drink 2-3 nights a week and thatís a couple of beers followed by a bottle of wine and feel so sick the next day. If I wasnít working full time it would probably be more nights. Anyway I read Alan Carr, ďhow to stop drinkingĒ and now reading ď this naked mindĒ by Annie grace and to be honest the though of alcohol sort of repulses me. Itís been 7 days now since my last drink. I also signed up for dry July so I have a another good reason to keep going! I wish you all the best
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Old 07-03-2018, 04:47 AM
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How's it going Jjb ?
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Old 07-03-2018, 06:43 AM
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Hi Jjb :)

I just wanted to say HELLO and see how you were doing. I am joining the July thread today and I'd love it if you would join me.
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