Day 494 - Living Life on Lifes Terms. God Grant Me The Serenity!
 

Wow! Today has been one of those days weird days where I feel like the universe is picking on me. Stayed out kind of late last night having dinner with a few friends so woke up not feeling very refreshed. Decided to invite a few friends out to a local festival and a couple of friends of mine really annoyed me by some of things they said. Sometimes it seems like a battle over who is going to make the plans? I wrote them this morning to ask them if they’d like to join my gf and I and their response was no sorry were heading to another festival “why don’t you come and join us?”. Why do people do this? No we have plans that’s why I invited you. Then my buddy tells me that their having people over on Sunday. I told them I might make it I’d have to see how I feel after I finish this long hike on Sunday. He gave me **** and I felt like saying to him. By the way I invited you to the hike and basically just blew off my invite. Anywho, I know it sounds like a bunch of childish bs but this kind of **** grinds my gears. These two friends really bug me sometimes with things they say and I feel like I need to distance myself from them. They both party and they’re not helping my recovery just giving me drama.

After all of that BS taking space in my mind the lights went out at work so I decided to take an early lunch. I ran some errands and got some pizza. During my lunch I was on social media and I noticed that a pretty serious g/f in my past is getting married. I’m happy for her and I know now weren’t meant for each other but I can’t help but feeling sad and resentful. I’m so happy to be sober! If I was still drinking I’m almost certain I would’ve wrote a letter that later I would’ve regretted. That didn’t sting as much as it would’ve had I not met Dana last year who has been my rock and is such an amazing woman.

After my lunch I got back and have been talking to my sponsor about meeting up today. Apparently he can’t make the time that we agreed on yesterday. Now I’ve gotta shift my late afternoon and evening around. Ugh! This happens from time to time with this guy. He commits to something and he can’t come through. He is helping me with a couple of sponsees while I’m going to be out of state so I think what this boils down to is gratefulness and living life on lifes terms! In the past I would’ve turned to the bottle and woke up alone with remorse and shame but I don’t have to do that anymore I have the tools of this program and SR.
Thanks for reading my Ramble!
Garrison

I used to think
People do things to annoy me all the time.

now I think
People do things that annoy me all the time.

the difference is - I can't fix their issues but I can do a lot about mine :)

If you can't talk to them, or can't talk to them right now, give them a longer 'leash' let them run off and you can try and let whatever resentment or anger you have go.

If they come back on that longer leash, all good...if not. still all good :)

D

Also...almost 500 days...to me that’s really cool!