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Old 06-22-2018, 11:13 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Friendships in Sobriety


Hey guys lately it seems I've been finding myself reevaluating friendships that I've had for awhile. I feel like I have a couple of friends who aren't in the program continuously act disresptful and frankly self absorbed. There are people in my meetings that say sometimes you have to chuange your playground and meet other people that fit what your looking for in a friend. I protect my Sobriety like the holy grail and if you cause undo stress in my life then it may be time to move on. Anyway I know I'm not perfect but would like to hear others opinion. Thanks!
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Old 06-22-2018, 11:44 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I don't give anyone a seat at my table who isn't trying to live their own best life, alcoholic or not. Period.

I've got a life full of amazing people now. This deliberate cultivating (and some fortunate reuniting) of good peeps was one of the best decisions early on that has led to the life I have now.

Part of that has been helped by really finding out what I enjoy doing, what's positive and useful as contributions to the world around me, and the like.
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Old 06-22-2018, 12:07 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I don't allow anyone in my life who is disrespectful to me. When I stopped drinking, there were a few people in my life who were toxic to me. Surprisingly, when I removed them, two women appeared in my life who became mentors and friends. Surround yourself with people who are positive and supportive.
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Old 06-22-2018, 01:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Thanks you guys! I feel like this whole process of recovering from a hopeless situation has taught me quite a few things and I learn new things Everyday. One thing is that I have to have boundaries with people that I don’t feel are helping me in my recovery. Rather their actions and attitude toward me are causing me undo stress and in turn harming my sobriety.
Deep down one of my character defects is that I’m a people pleaser and to distance myself or move on from a friendship/relationship seems wrong to me but I know that in order to grow in sobriety sometimes I have evaluate certain relationships. I liked what was said about “having a seat at my table”.
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Old 06-22-2018, 02:32 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Anyway I know I'm not perfect but would like to hear others opinion.

my personal opinion is it reads like a spiritual awakening is occurring- more is being revealed

i have to accept people the way they are but dont have to allow unacceptable behavior around me
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Old 06-22-2018, 03:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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One of my first nights sober I literally deleted all contacts that were unhealthy for me. Drug dealers, bad ex-boyfriends, friends who didn't really care about me. All gone. Sometimes you need to cleanse your life like that.
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