This is too easy

Old 06-22-2018, 11:15 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Biggest threat to my sobriety are the times when life is humming along, stars are aligned, dogs and cats are holding hands...

That's usually when the thinking creeps in - maybe one day I can drink responsibly... etc. etc..

So yea, enjoy it. Living sober is pretty awesome. And sometimes I have to pinch myself to remind myself that no one is coming to tear this rug from beneath me unless I do it to myself.

But yea... be wary.

Hope things stay positive and good!

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Old 06-22-2018, 12:00 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Remember never is forever.
Walk the line, reap the rewards.

The world with drink is small.
It’s all a big illusion.
A dream that you just can’t have.

It’s not worth the time and effort.

Lay it to rest and move on to something that you can have.

Good luck
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Old 06-22-2018, 05:58 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Also just remember every time you go through a stop and start cycle, your will to stop becomes harder to obtain.

Sadly You become more and more satisfied with an alcoholic lifestyle because the sobriety failures demolish your belief that you are worthy of a sober and happy life.
Have you seen alcoholics? I garuntee their self esteem is below 0.
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Old 06-22-2018, 09:19 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Thank you for all of your replies. Especially the ones that quoted me 2 weeks ago. As much as that stung, and as much as I couldnít even look at what I posted while in that horrible state I was in at that time, i did need the reminder. And also the reminder that Iím not in that place anymore. So again, thank you.

Iím still confident though, and I think thatís okay. I donít want to wait around for problems that may or may not come. Iím actually really proud of myself for what I did last weekend, being at the biggest trigger of a place I could possibly be at, with the biggest bunch of triggers (people) I could possibly be with. I was at the bar that basically began my life in my relatively new city. My first social memories of this city revolve around that bar. Itís Ďour spotí. Last weekend, I was also there with my Ďbest friendí, and while sadly 98% of our friendship revolved around drinking, I still kept it together. I randomly ran into my aunt and her new boyfriend while there last weekend, and her and this guy is one of a couple of stressful situations that set me off into my horrible bender last month around Memorial Day. All of that last weekend, and I still kept it together, and drank too much cranberry juice and topped off another half of La Croix while driving the drunk friend home.

I feel like I need to look at my strengths in this going forward. Yes keep my guard up and not get complacent, but also not be waiting for problems.
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Old 06-22-2018, 10:04 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Welcome back Rayna! Nice to have you back and glad you took what was said in a positive spirit. You are doing really well. You absolutely deserve to be proud of what you've achieved with the trip to the bar when you stayed sober ... with the added stress of seeing your aunt. But if you then take that victory and become complacent, what a terrible outcome it would be ultimately.

Stay strong. Stay sober...!
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Old 06-22-2018, 10:22 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Nothing wrong with being confident Rayna - as long as those confident thoughts don't include ideas of you probably being ok with one drink

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Old 06-22-2018, 10:53 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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It always seems to be the sunniest of days when I've fallen head first into the darkness.

When I think i've "got it licked". When I think I don't need to try anymore because "I just don't feel like drinking" That's often when my guard is down and I am deeply vulnerable, yet I don't even know it - until its too late.

One thing I do know, is that it's NOT easy. It's seriously hard work, but it's sure as heck worth it. After 2 weeks, I was still crawling out of a place I can only describe as HELL on earth. At 81 days today, I am out of the pit, but only one nano second from diving straight back into it. So each and every day, I FIGHT to stay in the light, and helps others do the same.

I wish the best for you and happy that you are posting about this, it's important stuff! Thanks for sharing!!
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Old 06-22-2018, 11:11 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Not sure why I have duplicated my posts, hehe..
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Old 06-22-2018, 11:12 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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And cannot delete them either - must be time for some zzzz's !
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Old 06-23-2018, 05:18 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Every time I think I can stop and only drink on special occasions, I end up on a bender and I have to start over again. Sometimes itís days, and then Iíve spent all my money and smoked down several pizzas and Iím dangerously depressed and feel horrible. Sometimes itís weeks to months and I run up credit card debt and hurt people I care about and am confused about why and then Iím suicidal and wonder why my life is horrible. Then I have to detox and start all over again. Then I ride that high of sobriety and get over confident again.

Beware the pink cloud, if you think you can drink again just try to push through a bit longer past that plan to drink. This is an active practice. The rent is due every day
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Old 06-23-2018, 05:22 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Just saw your reply Rayna. Iím so glad this is a positive experience for you. Itís very inspiring. You are wise to come here and share through that process
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