Insidious thoughts

Old 06-21-2018, 05:52 AM
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Insidious thoughts

Lately I've been having some thoughts creep back into my brain. My AV talking, I suppose. It feels like it's the devil talking to me.

"Why don't you just take one drink? "
"Go get a bottle of wine. No one is home. No one will know."
"Do you really want to be sober for the REST of your life?"

Why am I having these thoughts?! I'm 53 days sober and I've been doing great. Why would I throw it all away now?

Anyone else have these thoughts? It scares me, but sometimes I want to listen.
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Old 06-21-2018, 06:01 AM
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It is lying to you.

We all hear that voice, that cognitive dissonance. In order to stay sober, find a way to talk back to it.

"Uh huh. I don't drink."

It's just a little peep every now and then for me, but I didn't give in to it. I think giving in would give it a lot of power, so I didn't.
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Old 06-21-2018, 06:03 AM
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Upcoming holiday, AV looking for a crack in the armour.
Don't allow any cracks (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

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Old 06-21-2018, 06:46 PM
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...... the old, insidious insanity - that first drink. One definition of insanity is when a sober alcoholic picks up that first drink. Today I don't have to act on that thought. I nod as it passes by me searching the universe for someone willing. We witness it daily - a little time and the act of picking up that first drink. Plenty who will. I certainly did many times.

Ya know, the results worsened over time. Finally, the obstacles to my sobriety were removed - love of family, job, house etc.

Keep trudgin
Unless you're cured, of course .......

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Gottalife (06-22-2018)
Old 06-22-2018, 12:52 AM
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I didn't really have that experience after I committed to AA. By 58 days, I would say I was at step 5 and things were really changing. If I had hung back, like so many do, I am sure that the obsession would have come back. It always did before.

Having taken those steps and incorporated those principles in my life I find I am not alone in my sobriety. The fact that God and the steps stand firmly between me and the next drink, means I have not had any serious thoughts of drinking since... I got into God and the steps.

What is your progress in this area. Meetings are good as far as they go, but they are not the AA program of recovery.
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