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Old 06-21-2018, 05:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Insidious thoughts

Lately I've been having some thoughts creep back into my brain. My AV talking, I suppose. It feels like it's the devil talking to me.

"Why don't you just take one drink? "
"Go get a bottle of wine. No one is home. No one will know."
"Do you really want to be sober for the REST of your life?"

Why am I having these thoughts?! I'm 53 days sober and I've been doing great. Why would I throw it all away now?

Anyone else have these thoughts? It scares me, but sometimes I want to listen.
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Old 06-21-2018, 06:01 AM   #2 (permalink)
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It is lying to you.

We all hear that voice, that cognitive dissonance. In order to stay sober, find a way to talk back to it.

"Uh huh. I don't drink."

It's just a little peep every now and then for me, but I didn't give in to it. I think giving in would give it a lot of power, so I didn't.
The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea.
~ Isak Dinesen
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Old 06-21-2018, 06:03 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Upcoming holiday, AV looking for a crack in the armour.
Don't allow any cracks (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

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Old 06-21-2018, 06:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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...... the old, insidious insanity - that first drink. One definition of insanity is when a sober alcoholic picks up that first drink. Today I don't have to act on that thought. I nod as it passes by me searching the universe for someone willing. We witness it daily - a little time and the act of picking up that first drink. Plenty who will. I certainly did many times.

Ya know, the results worsened over time. Finally, the obstacles to my sobriety were removed - love of family, job, house etc.

Keep trudgin
Unless you're cured, of course .......

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Gottalife (06-22-2018)
Old 06-22-2018, 12:52 AM   #5 (permalink)
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
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I didn't really have that experience after I committed to AA. By 58 days, I would say I was at step 5 and things were really changing. If I had hung back, like so many do, I am sure that the obsession would have come back. It always did before.

Having taken those steps and incorporated those principles in my life I find I am not alone in my sobriety. The fact that God and the steps stand firmly between me and the next drink, means I have not had any serious thoughts of drinking since... I got into God and the steps.

What is your progress in this area. Meetings are good as far as they go, but they are not the AA program of recovery.

What you most need will be found where you least want to look
All BB quotes from 1st Edition.
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