2muchpain

I just talked to my sister. She knew I was drinking. I never realized it before, but I've all she's got. She was pretty upset with my drinking. She mentioned how could fall down and really hurt myself. She also mentioned I've all she's got. I have a brother, but he has pretty disowned me and her. That really affected me. I've got to there for her. John

Anna

And, be there for yourself, too, John.

I'm glad you and your sister have each other.

teatreeoil007

I'm glad you and your sister have each other, John. I think it helps to know there is someone there for you no matter what and who wants you to be there for them too.

Dee74

I'm glad you each have someone to care and be there for John

D

least

I hope you can get it together for yourself, if not for your sister.

2muchpain

Will definitely not drink today. I feel horrible, but I'll get through this. John

DarklingSong

I'm in your corner John.

Avra

One day at a time John. It is a way out.

2muchpain

I'm feeling a little better today. Got to do this. Plan on staying home one more day then back in the gym. Got a lot of cleaning to do today anyway. Good day to get stuff done. Hope all is well with everybody. John

SoberLeigh

100% in your corner, John. I am certain that you can do this.

DontRemember

What 'led' you back to drinking again? Maybe some F2F support would help..

2muchpain

I've been drinking off and on for some time now. Working helped me to have some control over it, but I'm off for the summer so have lots of time to drink. Your right. Some F2F would help but not sure where to begin. Thinking of going back to AA. The meetings helped a lot but still dealing with bad feelings about the place. John

DontRemember

AA,therapy,ect..Smart meetings(I've never been)..anything is better than 'shacking up' for the summer and drinking. Maybe a part time job even?

djlook

AA worked and still works for me today. I can identify when you say bad feelings about the "place". I changed places, started attending different meetings at a different location and it made all the difference in the world. There truly are good sober people in the program. Keep looking until you find a place where they're laughing and talking and enjoying life. Good luck to you.

2muchpain

Seems I've upset someone here. Got a pretty mean PM. Calling me holier than though and judgemental. I really never saw myself that way, but maybe I'm missing something It happens. Just want to say someone could be drinking and still give useful advice to others. I think I can still support others' in their struggles to get and stay sober. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I need to walk the walk for a while before I give advice to others. That PM really hurt. Thanks for everyone's support. John

2muchpain

So much for being honest. John

Lizajane

Honesty is always the right choice. Sometimes it's more about knowing when to share something. BUT we can't change the past. Sorry you were hurt. Probably hurts deep because this should be a safe place. I don't know what happened. I encourage you to stay and reach out. One PM is just that, one PM. If there was something to learn from it, focus on that and put the hurt aside. There are many people who will want to help you.

djlook

I don't know what you're talking about - private PM. It's none of my business and I don't want to know. What I heard in your post was your thoughts about going to a meeting, and I think that's a thought you should act upon. That's an action step. Your disease does not want you to take action. Alcoholism is a disease of comfort is what I've been told.

Carlotta

John I really hope that you finally get to be permanently abstinent and I am sorry that you are struggling.

Now, that being said, it is so nice to read that you have a sister and that she loves you (and that you seem to love her back).

Just an idea out of the blue, of course your sister can't fix you or anything but since you are off this summer what about trying to spend some quality time with her?
Go visit her (sober of course) or invite her to stay a bit with you or even better go on a little trip with her. If you two don't have much money, a little week end camping or fishing trip can be just as fun as some fancy schmanzy exotic vacation if it is with an awesome person.

Anyway, don't worry about the pm. Maybe it was someone who was having a bad day and took it out on you. Focus on your blessings



Ps: I m sending you a pm (a nice one LOL)

2muchpain

Carlotta, visiting my sister is a great idea. It's been going on two years, so I'm overdue for a visit. John