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Old 06-21-2018, 08:10 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Whenever I have a bad thought about myself or a situation I say 3 nice things (or more) about myself to kick those ugly thoughts out.
There is so much to live for.
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Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of righteous man availeth much.
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Old 06-21-2018, 01:58 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
I can’t stop thinking that I will never be able to achieve anything I find worth living for, and it would be just easier to give up and die.

could it be not necessarily that but maybe the achievements dont happen quick enough? instant gratification- wanting it and wanting it now?
because you are able to achieve anything you want to achieve. it just takes time for things to materialize. rome wasnt built in a day( i think it was 4 days. ).

I’m a hopeless perfectionist
oh yeah!
so, there i was doin wanescottin in my family room. i got buggered up becaus ea few of the joints were noticable. i was planning on tearing it all down and starting over when a friend stopped by. showed him what i wasnt happy with and my plan. he said,"if i was doing this wanescotting, how would you expect me to do it?"
"well, id expect you to do the best you could."
"what makes you think youre so much better than me that you have to have it perfect and i just do the best i could?"
HUH!

my house used to be spotless. everything had a place and everything was in its place. same friend stopped by( this is a friend i met after i got sober).
"dam,tom, youre house is clean. pretty spotless."
"thanks."
"its not lived in though."
"what?"
"its not lived in. too clean. too tidy. no signs of life."
HUH!
Huh Tom, this is actually very true! Instant gratification - I’ve always just assumed that some things are never gonna happen, because I’m not good enough, whatever... instead of accepting it’s gonna take some TIME... before I see any results at all. Thank you!
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Old 06-21-2018, 02:10 PM   #23 (permalink)
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It’s funny - it always takes me at least two days to read through replies on my threads because I always assume ‘the worst’ - oh I bet people call me attention seeker, I overshare, I should be embarrassed of myself etc...

But then I read them, and everyone is so lovely and HELPFUL. Showing me stuff I haven’t thought of before. Just wow. Thank you guys... I don’t know what would I do without you! I love you all so much.
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Old 06-22-2018, 07:08 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snufkin View Post
Huh Tom, this is actually very true! Instant gratification - Iíve always just assumed that some things are never gonna happen, because Iím not good enough, whatever... instead of accepting itís gonna take some TIME... before I see any results at all. Thank you!
it is something i had to really work on. i had to learn about patience- if i didnt learn that i was going to end up bring a patient in a rubber room!
patience isnt about what im doing while im waiting- its about what im thinking while im waiting. learning to change my thinking during the waiting took time.
i dont have it mastered,though. im currently working on putting a new roof on a motorhome. i have quite a bit to go but want it done yesterday!
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Old 06-22-2018, 07:35 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
it is something i had to really work on. i had to learn about patience- if i didnt learn that i was going to end up bring a patient in a rubber room!
patience isnt about what im doing while im waiting- its about what im thinking while im waiting. learning to change my thinking during the waiting took time.
i dont have it mastered,though. im currently working on putting a new roof on a motorhome. i have quite a bit to go but want it done yesterday!
Tom, this is a great post. I would also want it done perfectly and spend too much time researching/trying to make sure I didn't waste any materials or money, and wish I'd done it last month before it was so hot, and have a hard time not taking eleventyseven lemonade breaks, and I'd probably think I've done something wrong and while still working on this project I'd think of other stuff to add to my already un-doable To-Do list andandandandand.

The busy brain - just shut it!!

Be here now.

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Old 06-22-2018, 09:26 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Please think about looking into vitamin supplements, too. We who drink too much have drained our bodies of many things, and B vitamins and magnesium especially affect depression. Not to say at all that that is going to fix anything, and I hope that isn't considered medical advice. Just a supplement for the steps we're taking already... We need to replenish what the alcohol stripped from us to function at our best.
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Old 06-22-2018, 11:59 AM   #27 (permalink)
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It's important to talk to your dr before taking any vitamins or supplements to know what is right for you. Your dr can let you know what is right, and possibly not right, for you to take.
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Old 06-23-2018, 05:01 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Tom, this is a great post. I would also want it done perfectly and spend too much time researching/trying to make sure I didn't waste any materials or money, and wish I'd done it last month before it was so hot, and have a hard time not taking eleventyseven lemonade breaks, and I'd probably think I've done something wrong and while still working on this project I'd think of other stuff to add to my already un-doable To-Do list andandandandand.

The busy brain - just shut it!!

Be here now.

you got cameras up watchin me or sumthin???? exactly how ive been during this!
i read a thousand articles on it,watched countless videos, read a bajillion reviews on motorhome roofing materials, spent hours finding the best prices.
then while working on replacing the roof framing( which is weird because ive framed about 100 houses and countless remodels with major roof repair- just none of em on a motorhome)- with my plan in place- complicate the crap out of how to get it all off of their! its rotted lumber- just tear it our!
leading to eleventythousand lemonade breaks.
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Old 06-23-2018, 05:13 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Hiya Snuf.

As others have said, you are very likeable. You don't realise it, but you come across as very kind and endearing. I only know you from your posts but that's more than enough to know you're the kind of person we need more of in the world, not less of.

I'm not sure if it's been suggested already (I'm coming up to the end of my night shift and feeling a little sleepy so sorry if it has) but have you tried DBT? It's a form of therapy that helps with emotion regulation and distress tolerance. It's very practical and very, very straightforward. I learned it in a group setting but it can be learned individually too. I honestly can't recommend it enough, the practical skills you learn have played a big part in helping with my mental health issues, and that helps me stay sober

Keep that head up Snuf and let me know if you'd like more info.
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