It really does get easier
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
It really does get easier
For those just starting out, I want to encourage you: It really does get easier, the farther away you get from active addiction.
Life does not require alcohol. Fun does not require alcohol. Nothing does. Everything is so much better without it. In the grip of alcohol, your life and world is small, and getting smaller. That's all it's about. When you are in the throes of it, it makes you believe that a beach trip, a cookout, a weekend, a party, a day at the lake, a Friday after work, a night out with the girls, a wedding, any celebration... all require alcohol. Eventually, of course, it gets to where a random Sunday night or Tuesday afternoon require alcohol. They do not. And neither do any of those other occasions.
Without alcohol, life opens up. You find the "old you". The free you.
I am now almost 13 months free. For many years I couldn't imagine "never drinking again". But the longer you get away from it, now I can't imagine giving in to that drinking treadmill again.
What a gift it is to open my eyes every morning and feel well. To not be ashamed. To not feel sick and miserable and having to hide my misery from my children and my husband. To not be plotting out when I can get to the store to buy wine. How to hide the empties. To get the bare minimum of life done.
It's a burden lifted.
STILL, every now and then I imagine a "lovely glass of wine", which is CRAZY, because I know what a lie that is. It wouldn't be "a" glass of wine. It would be an entire bottle, day after day. It isn't "lovely" in any way.
But now, with a year under my belt, it has gotten easier to immediately say NO WAY and move on. Right now we even have wine in our fridge and I have not been tempted at all. It is next to insulin that a family member uses. The alcohol now is in the same category.. something I don't need, use, want.. have no interest in touching. It would sabotage all that has become good in my life.
If I can do this, every one of you can too. If you are hearing "that's impossible," realize that is the alcohol talking, not you. A better life awaits. It is doable for every one of us! No one is too far gone.
Treat yourself with the kindness you deserve. Give yourself and all who love you more. Believe in your ability to do this.
Don't wait. It can happen right now. You don't necessarily need to do anything elaborate or complicated. Start this moment. Do not pick alcohol up. Don't put it to your lips. Do not swallow. Repeat. Expect some difficulty. Get through the first day, the second day, and every day you'll be stronger.
If you hear yourself saying, "oh, what the heck, why not, I can have a drink.. I'll start tomorrow." Tell yourself immediately, no, I won't. That's a lie. Take a walk. Take a bath. Go to bed early. Make a cup of tea. Eat some chocolate. And every time you do that, it'll get easier. One day on top of another.
It is worth it. YOU are worth it. You can do it.
It's simpler than you think.
my story:
https://soberrecovery.com/forums/new...rate-stop.html
Life does not require alcohol. Fun does not require alcohol. Nothing does. Everything is so much better without it. In the grip of alcohol, your life and world is small, and getting smaller. That's all it's about. When you are in the throes of it, it makes you believe that a beach trip, a cookout, a weekend, a party, a day at the lake, a Friday after work, a night out with the girls, a wedding, any celebration... all require alcohol. Eventually, of course, it gets to where a random Sunday night or Tuesday afternoon require alcohol. They do not. And neither do any of those other occasions.
Without alcohol, life opens up. You find the "old you". The free you.
I am now almost 13 months free. For many years I couldn't imagine "never drinking again". But the longer you get away from it, now I can't imagine giving in to that drinking treadmill again.
What a gift it is to open my eyes every morning and feel well. To not be ashamed. To not feel sick and miserable and having to hide my misery from my children and my husband. To not be plotting out when I can get to the store to buy wine. How to hide the empties. To get the bare minimum of life done.
It's a burden lifted.
STILL, every now and then I imagine a "lovely glass of wine", which is CRAZY, because I know what a lie that is. It wouldn't be "a" glass of wine. It would be an entire bottle, day after day. It isn't "lovely" in any way.
But now, with a year under my belt, it has gotten easier to immediately say NO WAY and move on. Right now we even have wine in our fridge and I have not been tempted at all. It is next to insulin that a family member uses. The alcohol now is in the same category.. something I don't need, use, want.. have no interest in touching. It would sabotage all that has become good in my life.
If I can do this, every one of you can too. If you are hearing "that's impossible," realize that is the alcohol talking, not you. A better life awaits. It is doable for every one of us! No one is too far gone.
Treat yourself with the kindness you deserve. Give yourself and all who love you more. Believe in your ability to do this.
Don't wait. It can happen right now. You don't necessarily need to do anything elaborate or complicated. Start this moment. Do not pick alcohol up. Don't put it to your lips. Do not swallow. Repeat. Expect some difficulty. Get through the first day, the second day, and every day you'll be stronger.
If you hear yourself saying, "oh, what the heck, why not, I can have a drink.. I'll start tomorrow." Tell yourself immediately, no, I won't. That's a lie. Take a walk. Take a bath. Go to bed early. Make a cup of tea. Eat some chocolate. And every time you do that, it'll get easier. One day on top of another.
It is worth it. YOU are worth it. You can do it.
It's simpler than you think.
my story:
https://soberrecovery.com/forums/new...rate-stop.html
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Absolutely! Great post.
I used to think I drank because I had problems, but the truth was, I had problems because I drank. Once drinking was off the table, my problems resolved themselves.
I also had to learn to trust myself again, to believe in my ability to quit. Everywhere I go.... there I am.
Life is way better on the other side! I look back and wonder how I lived that way for so long... it was exhausting and so much harder. I didn't understand how much I was missing out on. Quitting drinking was the best gift I could give to myself and my loved ones.
It really is simple too. Just don't drink. No matter what. And then give yourself time to heal. It gets easier, and it just keeps getting better.
For anyone struggling, stay the course and never give up.
I used to think I drank because I had problems, but the truth was, I had problems because I drank. Once drinking was off the table, my problems resolved themselves.
I also had to learn to trust myself again, to believe in my ability to quit. Everywhere I go.... there I am.
Life is way better on the other side! I look back and wonder how I lived that way for so long... it was exhausting and so much harder. I didn't understand how much I was missing out on. Quitting drinking was the best gift I could give to myself and my loved ones.
It really is simple too. Just don't drink. No matter what. And then give yourself time to heal. It gets easier, and it just keeps getting better.
For anyone struggling, stay the course and never give up.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,337
Thank you Tealily and others!
Thank you SO MUCH!
Tealily. I touched the link and read your story. And the great support that immediately followed. So many still active members!!
i’m very early on day 23 .
30 years ago I managed to overcome my addiction to nicotine .
I know I can do this but it seems so hard at times . I think part of it is because alcohol abuse seems to be such the norm, where as cigarette smoking it’s more negative leasing I most people .
The other part is squashingvthe addictive brain.
I’ll look up AVRT also.
At some point I hope to reach out and help others, but for now I feel selfish in my needs just to get by.
With great gratitude,
Free
Tealily. I touched the link and read your story. And the great support that immediately followed. So many still active members!!
i’m very early on day 23 .
30 years ago I managed to overcome my addiction to nicotine .
I know I can do this but it seems so hard at times . I think part of it is because alcohol abuse seems to be such the norm, where as cigarette smoking it’s more negative leasing I most people .
The other part is squashingvthe addictive brain.
I’ll look up AVRT also.
At some point I hope to reach out and help others, but for now I feel selfish in my needs just to get by.
With great gratitude,
Free
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Originally Posted by Free2bme888 
Thank you SO MUCH!
Tealily. I touched the link and read your story. And the great support that immediately followed. So many still active members!!
i’m very early on day 23 .
30 years ago I managed to overcome my addiction to nicotine .
I know I can do this but it seems so hard at times . I think part of it is because alcohol abuse seems to be such the norm, where as cigarette smoking it’s more negative leasing I most people .
The other part is squashingvthe addictive brain.
I’ll look up AVRT also.
At some point I hope to reach out and help others, but for now I feel selfish in my needs just to get by.
With great gratitude,
Free
Tealily. I touched the link and read your story. And the great support that immediately followed. So many still active members!!
i’m very early on day 23 .
30 years ago I managed to overcome my addiction to nicotine .
I know I can do this but it seems so hard at times . I think part of it is because alcohol abuse seems to be such the norm, where as cigarette smoking it’s more negative leasing I most people .
The other part is squashingvthe addictive brain.
I’ll look up AVRT also.
At some point I hope to reach out and help others, but for now I feel selfish in my needs just to get by.
With great gratitude,
Free
I'm glad if it helped in any way! Take care of yourself.. you don't need to feel the pressure to help others yet. Tend to yourself, and be "selfish".. in the best possible way. You are on the right track.. and can keep it up. Huge congrats on the 23 days. That's awesome!
I'm pulling for you, and we all are here for you! Every day it gets better.
You are so right that it's easy to be undermined by all the messages that alcohol use/abuse is OK. Once you start pulling away from it, you will start seeing ugly truth under the surface rather than the fake glamour.
You can do it!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Thank you so much for an encouraging & inspiring post Tealily.
Yes - 'a nice glass of wine' is what led me back to drinking after 3 yrs sober. It was going to be just one, I was determined. 7 yrs later I was drinking every day, with a life in ruins - that's when I found SR. There's never going to be 'a glass' for us - always the whole bottle & no telling where it will end. I'm so glad we've learned we can't touch it.
Yes - 'a nice glass of wine' is what led me back to drinking after 3 yrs sober. It was going to be just one, I was determined. 7 yrs later I was drinking every day, with a life in ruins - that's when I found SR. There's never going to be 'a glass' for us - always the whole bottle & no telling where it will end. I'm so glad we've learned we can't touch it.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 25
Great post. Very encouraging for those of us in the early stages (5 weeks here).
The hardest part for me is patience. I was expecting to feel like a million bucks by now, but the recovery process is moving slow which sets off the depression and triggers thoughts of drinking. Some days are really hard some days not so bad. Trying my best to focus on the long game...
The hardest part for me is patience. I was expecting to feel like a million bucks by now, but the recovery process is moving slow which sets off the depression and triggers thoughts of drinking. Some days are really hard some days not so bad. Trying my best to focus on the long game...
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