Social Media and Recovery
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Social Media and Recovery
Hey guys,
I go back in forth about social media in recovery. The first 8 months that I was sober I remained off of Facebook because it is a resentment and ego machine for me. Staying off of it has really helped me to guard myself against unneeded angst and character defect issues. I got back on it in October of last year and then was on it for a few months and then off it again from February to May of this year. Needless to say in a nutshell I do miss seeing the updates from family and friends but there is a lot of BS on there and I’m still trying to figure out if it is something I should continue to use. Lately, there have been a couple of instances that in the past I would’ve drank over. I don’t need unneeded stress.
I went to an AA campout on Friday night which was really neat. I met some new people in the process in the program and we had a meeting around a campfire. Cool experience! At the same time that night a friend of mine who I believe is alcoholic was posting that she was with me and that she was getting ready for bed and looking forward to a hike on Saturday. Good grief! Can you imagine what my girlfriend thought when she saw that Friday evening? Needless to say I had to explain to her that I was in the mtns and my friend Laura most likely was drinking and created the chaos. Argh! It’s since blown over but thinking about that whole scenario reminded me why I stay sober and how I don’t want to go back to that way of living and the unmanageability.
Yesterday I noticed an old softball buddy who is new in the program posted something on my page to the effect that I was also in recovery basically blowing my anonymity. I was steaming! I remembered to pause when agitated and calmly wrote him back asking him to remember the 12th tradition and what that said. He was very apologetic and I’ve put it behind me.
So I think I’m still trying to figure out exactly what to do? I think my plan is to just use it here and there and if it’s becoming a burden I’ll get off of it. Would like to hear from anyone else about their experience with social media and recovery?
Thanks again!
Garrison
I go back in forth about social media in recovery. The first 8 months that I was sober I remained off of Facebook because it is a resentment and ego machine for me. Staying off of it has really helped me to guard myself against unneeded angst and character defect issues. I got back on it in October of last year and then was on it for a few months and then off it again from February to May of this year. Needless to say in a nutshell I do miss seeing the updates from family and friends but there is a lot of BS on there and I’m still trying to figure out if it is something I should continue to use. Lately, there have been a couple of instances that in the past I would’ve drank over. I don’t need unneeded stress.
I went to an AA campout on Friday night which was really neat. I met some new people in the process in the program and we had a meeting around a campfire. Cool experience! At the same time that night a friend of mine who I believe is alcoholic was posting that she was with me and that she was getting ready for bed and looking forward to a hike on Saturday. Good grief! Can you imagine what my girlfriend thought when she saw that Friday evening? Needless to say I had to explain to her that I was in the mtns and my friend Laura most likely was drinking and created the chaos. Argh! It’s since blown over but thinking about that whole scenario reminded me why I stay sober and how I don’t want to go back to that way of living and the unmanageability.
Yesterday I noticed an old softball buddy who is new in the program posted something on my page to the effect that I was also in recovery basically blowing my anonymity. I was steaming! I remembered to pause when agitated and calmly wrote him back asking him to remember the 12th tradition and what that said. He was very apologetic and I’ve put it behind me.
So I think I’m still trying to figure out exactly what to do? I think my plan is to just use it here and there and if it’s becoming a burden I’ll get off of it. Would like to hear from anyone else about their experience with social media and recovery?
Thanks again!
Garrison
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I walked away from facebook in 2009. No regrets. I still have my account, but I only go there when I want to look at certain photos. Everything is locked down as much as is possible on fb security settings.
It's a life-sucking drama pit in my experience.
But then I gave up TV news, internet news, never had instagram or twitter or any other social media things. I do post in a couple well-moderated forums like this one, but I don't generally reveal my identity or anything that I wouldn't want to come back and bite me.
And, yeah. It would be nice if it was possible to "police" everyone in AA so they wouldn't break other peoples' anonymity - but people being who they are...again, in AA I didn't share stuff that was too intimate. I didn't really care if people outted me just for being there, though.
It's a life-sucking drama pit in my experience.
But then I gave up TV news, internet news, never had instagram or twitter or any other social media things. I do post in a couple well-moderated forums like this one, but I don't generally reveal my identity or anything that I wouldn't want to come back and bite me.
And, yeah. It would be nice if it was possible to "police" everyone in AA so they wouldn't break other peoples' anonymity - but people being who they are...again, in AA I didn't share stuff that was too intimate. I didn't really care if people outted me just for being there, though.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Life-sucking drama pit..lol. I like that one! I think my plan is to get cell phone numbers from people that I would like to stay in touch with and then get off again. Thanks for your input!
Garrison
Garrison
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
I've only been sober 6 months, but I agree with you that it is an ego-fueled machine. Last night, I was on looking at profiles of people I attended high school with for 2 years (it was a private girls' school), and I found myself comparing myself to the people I found: This one is traveling the world, this one looks amazing, went to Harvard and is on the national news, this one is overweight and obsessed with Disney World. I mean, what the hell? How can that possibly be productive or good for me? This post is a great reminder to step back from all that nonsense, and continue to focus on the real relationships that are in front of me and need my focus. Thank you. 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 568
Wow! This is so crazy because I was just thinking of posting something soooo similar to this this morning! I find myself looking at fb and getting so irritated because people are posting their political opinions which I think are idiotic and then posting things about their place of employment and I'm thinking "if you worked for me you would be fired" and then people who post a video of their 5 year olds school play ... in its entirety! Also, the women that post that they love their hubby bubby ooey gooey best friendsie stuff then are filing for divorce the next month. I have to do some fb for my work but other than that I have decided to stay away from it as of this morning. I feel that SR will be my social media of sorts for awhile. Have to admit though I do laugh when people get into fights on fb. I do enjoy watching that stuff. LOL
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
I mainly use it for business and the occasional sarcastic joke(I quit drinking... not being a smartass 
),but I could see how it would be tough during early sobriety. Kinda like your buddy 'outing you' unintentionally. His heads all over the place right now and I'm sure he was feeling the 'excitment' of the future without booze and thought he'd scream it from the FB rooftops. I've got a new business going with a buddy and he likes to 'tag' me in his daily posts on there. It's quite annoying as I don't like too many people knowing what I'm up to. He comes off as bragging at times too,but whatever. 
),but I could see how it would be tough during early sobriety. Kinda like your buddy 'outing you' unintentionally. His heads all over the place right now and I'm sure he was feeling the 'excitment' of the future without booze and thought he'd scream it from the FB rooftops. I've got a new business going with a buddy and he likes to 'tag' me in his daily posts on there. It's quite annoying as I don't like too many people knowing what I'm up to. He comes off as bragging at times too,but whatever. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Thanks guys. Yeah a lot of great stuff. My buddy is about 4 months and yes he is very excited to be in recovery and he is shouting it from the rooftops. Good way to put it. Hopefully he doesn’t get over confidant.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
This is a big one for people (sober or not!) these days.
I went off FB for most of 2014 and 2015. It was a mess for me. When I got sober (Feb 2016) I returned to it but with some specifics ways for handling it: at first, I only friended or accepted requests from people for whom I had other forms of contact info, extending to the long distance friends who pics I love too.
My first year I was decently open about my recovery, including shares on FB though not explicitly about AA as a general rule. There's certainly differing opinions in AA about whether anyone should post pics of holding a chip you just got etc.
In 2017 I started leading an alcohol and addiction recovery group for the restaurant industry. Which meant handling our FB page daily, as well as creating Insta accounts for the three cities we are in. That took things to another level and as my visibility has grown, as I have met more people associated/in F&B and working to help our community, I am open with whom I take as friends, always check on who connects us (if no one, I probably
don't accept).
This works for me - now. It's been significant to see people reach out to me because of some article I posted about recovery, or just from my hopeful, in my growing, happy life in recovery....so that more than makes being on FB worth it for me. If that should change or I honestly assess it to be a bad practice, I will change it.
Telling people in person is similar- we all have a choice to make about making recovery public (save exceptions like an AA person breaking our anonymity, or my mom telling everyone she knows details about my journey).
I went off FB for most of 2014 and 2015. It was a mess for me. When I got sober (Feb 2016) I returned to it but with some specifics ways for handling it: at first, I only friended or accepted requests from people for whom I had other forms of contact info, extending to the long distance friends who pics I love too.
My first year I was decently open about my recovery, including shares on FB though not explicitly about AA as a general rule. There's certainly differing opinions in AA about whether anyone should post pics of holding a chip you just got etc.
In 2017 I started leading an alcohol and addiction recovery group for the restaurant industry. Which meant handling our FB page daily, as well as creating Insta accounts for the three cities we are in. That took things to another level and as my visibility has grown, as I have met more people associated/in F&B and working to help our community, I am open with whom I take as friends, always check on who connects us (if no one, I probably
don't accept).
This works for me - now. It's been significant to see people reach out to me because of some article I posted about recovery, or just from my hopeful, in my growing, happy life in recovery....so that more than makes being on FB worth it for me. If that should change or I honestly assess it to be a bad practice, I will change it.
Telling people in person is similar- we all have a choice to make about making recovery public (save exceptions like an AA person breaking our anonymity, or my mom telling everyone she knows details about my journey).
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Toronto, Canada,
Posts: 1,242
I don't use it anymore. It made me feel depressed about my life since it looks like everyone else is living a perfect life. Then I would drink more and post about my complaints which led family members to ban me. I find that it does nothing for my self esteem to see others doing social stuff and they don't invite me. So I stay off of all social media. Besides, do I really need to see pics of what they are eating?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
I got rid of FB when I got sober (8 months). I have no plans of reopening it. I do have Instagram, it is far less political and I can remove the alcohol ads. I rather see peoples life than hear about it, I don't have to read the description, and with Instagram, it was much less time-consuming.
FB became an addition, I was always on it. I am free now! I love it.
Sometimes I feel like I am missing out on family stuff, family from other states, but I could also reach out to them if I wanted to really know what is going on. I do sometimes.
Then reality kicks in, NO WAY, I want no one to know what I am doing, what my opinions are about anything.
I also haven't watched the news since 2004, no desire for negativity which I feel Social media and the news is full of that.
FB became an addition, I was always on it. I am free now! I love it.
Sometimes I feel like I am missing out on family stuff, family from other states, but I could also reach out to them if I wanted to really know what is going on. I do sometimes.
Then reality kicks in, NO WAY, I want no one to know what I am doing, what my opinions are about anything.
I also haven't watched the news since 2004, no desire for negativity which I feel Social media and the news is full of that.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
In my effort to simplify my life and focus on important stuff, I recently deleted my Instagram. I also deleted my FB app so I can only check from a browser. I’m going to see if I really “miss” anything about FB and if the answer is no, I will delete my acct. I find it to be a huge distraction and waste of time. Even Fitbit. I was so distracted with challenges against people I don’t even know. Weird stuff. I feel free. Like another burden has been lifted. My mind just feels less cluttered if that makes sense!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by Quitnow4 
. Even Fitbit. I was so distracted with challenges against people I don’t even know. Weird stuff.!
I'm not laughing at you..I'm laughing because I've done that in the past with fantasy football and such..not even with a money leauge. Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Lakeside, Arizona
Posts: 1,138
I've been using anonymousness computerized chat since the BBS days where you'd dial up each independent BBS system from your computer at home, before computers were all interconnected via the internet as they are today. The internet didn't exist yet!
I hate facebook and only have an account to manage my business page.
I do not like facebook one bit. There's plenty of other ways to discuss things on the 'net.
I hate facebook and only have an account to manage my business page.
I do not like facebook one bit. There's plenty of other ways to discuss things on the 'net.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
I actually find myself more active on social media when I'm not drinking. For the past 7 weeks I've been posting artwork pretty regularly to facebook and instagram. I've had people message saying they look forward to seeing my new illustrations, so it's almost like due to social media I feel committed to staying focused and making sure I post regularly. It makes the people who follow me happy and it makes me happy as being sober means I can keep on track with the stuff I work on.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn. All of em. 5 pages on Facebook, three Twitter and Instagram accounts. Just my personal LinkedIn, a finance blog and a marketing blog. I attend seminars led by social media influencers. To me social media advertising is incredible as a marketing tool. Probably why my husband puts my phone on do not disturb at night lol. I spend 2 days a quarter writing posts, collecting memes... send them to my calendar, then everyday login to my one post site and blast social media. I also have at least 2 other people per company who help me manage my social media.
Having said that. It is easy to get caught up in the rose coloured posting of social media, easy to compare oneself and feel inadequate. Fun to watch fights lol. I take it all with a grain of salt. I post my positives and try to balance with epic fails. Usually those are birthday cakes or bread, I screw up the bake at home frozen loaves. It is what it Is, take it or leave it.
Having said that.
It is easy to get caught up in the rose coloured posting of social media, easy to compare oneself and feel inadequate. Fun to watch fights lol. I take it all with a grain of salt. I post my positives and try to balance with epic fails. Usually those are birthday cakes or bread, I screw up the bake at home frozen loaves. It is what it Is, take it or leave it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 80
Interesting post,
I recently got back on Facebook after a substantial time of being sober now. I initially deleted it because it was such a negativity when I drank. I was pissed at this, pissed at that. Plus, I had little to no filter and used it to boost my confidence.
I now use it to post race pictures, updates, and keep up with several running groups. That’s about it! I don’t even scroll the thread because none of what people post is beneficial to me!
I recently got back on Facebook after a substantial time of being sober now. I initially deleted it because it was such a negativity when I drank. I was pissed at this, pissed at that. Plus, I had little to no filter and used it to boost my confidence.
I now use it to post race pictures, updates, and keep up with several running groups. That’s about it! I don’t even scroll the thread because none of what people post is beneficial to me!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I deleted my FB account back in Jan. I figured it was just a huge time waster and most of the people I was friends with on there were people from my past who if I'd really wanted to stay in touch with then I would have in real life. It was full of "B" friends. My "A" friends have my phone number and we get together. I was also always very guarded on there because I had contacts like my grandma, or colleagues, or my kids friends parents, so there was worries about appearances and whatnot.
Plus I was feeling like FB was very invasive into my privacy. Like I could just be thinking about buying something and suddenly there were ads on my feed for it. After that Cambridge Analytica scandal I deleted my Google account too. I don't want these tech giants all up in my business and tracking my every move... little too 1984 for me. I think it's creepy AF.
Honestly, it was a relief to get rid of FB and I don't miss it one bit.
Kids growing up today will never know what it's like to have true privacy. We've freely given it away for the sake of convenience, it wasn't forced upon us, we bought and paid for it.... nuts.
Plus I was feeling like FB was very invasive into my privacy. Like I could just be thinking about buying something and suddenly there were ads on my feed for it. After that Cambridge Analytica scandal I deleted my Google account too. I don't want these tech giants all up in my business and tracking my every move... little too 1984 for me. I think it's creepy AF.
Honestly, it was a relief to get rid of FB and I don't miss it one bit.
Kids growing up today will never know what it's like to have true privacy. We've freely given it away for the sake of convenience, it wasn't forced upon us, we bought and paid for it.... nuts.
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