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24 days and then...

Old 06-20-2018, 05:24 AM
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24 days and then...

We went to a bar to celebrate. My husbands co-worker was shot while on duty (they are law enforcement) and last night we celebrated his release from medical leave. And my 24 days of sobriety were flushed down the drain. 4 beers, 2 shots and now I can hear my heart beating in my ears. Almost everyone I know who drinks too much sulks their hangover away and gets over it. It’s “normal”. But me? To me getting drunk like that is unacceptable and weak and a failure. I am so ashamed.
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Old 06-20-2018, 05:41 AM
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There's only one way to not be ashamed slipnslide - and you know what it is

Fair or not, I knew that the way I drank was toxic.

I had to change...or die.

It really is that fundamental.

D
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Old 06-20-2018, 06:14 AM
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Slipnslide,
Failing does not make you a failure unless you chose not to learn from this experience and do better next time. Today is day ONE. Time to think about how your AV got the better of you yesterday. Next time there is something really awesome to celebrate with friends and drinking will be all around you...what are you going to do? Protect the quit by being self aware. I can handle this right now or I can't handle this. Decide ahead of time. We can't walk into these things without a firm plan of action in our head. AV loves indecisiveness.
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Old 06-20-2018, 03:26 PM
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Some people can 'turn it around' when they realize their drinking has gotten out of hand, or realize their drinking is causing problems. My brother was able to do it, successfully and never drank again.

For me, when the consequences got bad enough, and the inner state described as the 4 horsemen in the book AA - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair - got bad enough ... it only got worse, and worse. The AA book describes the condition people like me get entrapped in, and the ever-worsening condition - and it also details the miraculous path to getting FREE.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE.
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