Plenny

Thanks for saying this Dee. I have rarely encountered it here, but I'm super sensitive to any harsh talk (and I am a chops breaker myself) in these vulnerable places of my psyche. When I went to another forum and received a lot of slams it actually did become my excuse to spiral out of control for a few days. I was looking for that out. Trying to prove to myself that there was no help or hope and I didn't deserve it anyway.

Honestly this is a very sacred place for me, whether i'm "succeeding" or not. Thanks for helping to keep it positive and productive

least

If anyone wants to know, the forum rules are in a link at the bottom of every page. It's on the left side toward the bottom.

Dee74

Thanks Plenny and thanks least - I had no idea that was there

D

Willow00

Thanks Dee 😊 I must admit I hadn’t read all the rules, but I’ve just read them now. Hopefully I haven’t inadvertently broken any rules up till now (I can recognise my scared inner self feeling anxious and guilty about the possibility of having stuffed things up...)

I just wanted to say a big thank you to you and to everyone on SR and that I was really scared about joining SR so lurked in the background reading posts and slipping up drinking every weekend for several weeks before joining. When I finally found the courage to sign up, I found everyone to be really helpful, yourself in particular, so thank you for doing such a wonderful job supporting everyone here, and thanks to everyone else too. It’s the support here that’s helping me get this far and I’m truly grateful to you all. Everyone has been awesome

Dee74

Thanks Willow

D

Anna

I'm bumping this thread in the hope that everyone will read it.

Cuckoo

Thanks Dee
I had a very negative comment a while back from an SR member.

You adressed it with the person involved and then PM'd me to apologise.

I love the fact that the SR mods are doing their job and are totally on point for all of us.....

I think I can speak for all of us.....
Thanks for looking out for us whether we be drunk, sober or somewhere in between. We really appreciate you guys.

J50

Thanks for the post Dee. Some of the "tough love" posts are a little ridiculous especially when the OP is new. I learned a lot here and try to add where I can, but the support and information here is invaluable.

Dee74

Thanks for your input guys

D

Mattq2

Thanks Dee,
SR is my only form of support. Everyone has always been awesome to me. Thanks for the post

Dee74

no worries Matt

D

columbus

(Dee-- Although I'm sure you realize on some level how important you are to so many people, I'm also sure you'll ultimately never know how many people you have touched and how deeply. One thing I know is that you and the other mods and SR itself have undoubtedly saved many lives. For the record I consider you guys angels!)

Dee74

Thanks for the kind words Columbus

D

Daisybelle

Thanks for posting this Dee

I've had nothing but kindness and support offered to me from the members here that I've come into contact with, but I have read some of the 'tough love' comments and advice offered to new members and I have to say if someone replied to me in a condescending or flippant manner, especially in those first few weeks when I was at my most anxious and fragile, I wouldn't have come back. I try and live by my signature quote. xx

Dee74

Thanks DaisyBelle

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PeacefulWater12

Thank you for posting this reminder. When I first realised I needed to quit and then actually did, I was terrified and so desperately afraid. I already had given myself an overwhelming amount of physical and verbal abuse, that had I encountered it on the forum, it would have wounded me further and I expect drinking would have continued.

What I do see here and find very disturbing is when someone posts and another person roots back through that persons older posts and quote them back at them self.

I find this highly abusive and bullying.

The whole point of recovery is to grow at our own speed, layers fall away gradually over time as we work our program of choice. Our attitudes and outlooks and behaviours change. That is how it works.

I have not experienced this but have seen it with others and it upsets me when I do see it.

We go along, we learn, it all takes time.

I expect the reason some people quote back at others is because it touches a raw, unaddressed spot in them. I do wonder too, how people have the time to root through other members past posts. It feels like they are looking for a stick to beat the person with.

Ladysadie

Peaceful water, thank you for your thoughts as I've felt the same way. I hold back even though I know this is an anonymous forum it can still be unnerving to have your a** handed to you. I hesitate to pour my thoughts out when I am hurting inside if what I get is scolded for my transgressions.

Dee74

Thanks Peaceful Waters (thanks to you too ladysadie)

I'd like to think that people quoting old posts back are by and large trying to help - if used in a general, constructive context some times ones own words can reach someone where other peoples words can't

I very much agree it shouldn't be used as a club to smack someone over the head with, or done to shame, ridicule or bully people.

I was already a black belt in beating myself up.
I felt bad enough when I got here.

I wasn't looking to feel worse.

D

PeacefulWater12

Thank you for this, Sadie, I felt very nervous posting how I felt about it.

Best wishes to you.

Dee74

I hope my answer didn't make you regret posting PeacefulWater - I very much appreciate you posting about what concerns you (as well as everyone else in this thread)

D