Day 6....anxiety about my health getting worse
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 104
Day 6....anxiety about my health getting worse
I know no one can give me medical advice....but I seriously think it may be too late...or I don't have much life left to live. I have been binge drinking since 12 years old...im now 35. Vodka has been my addiction for the past 10 years or so. I have hid my drinking a lot....where I drink with my hubby...but have more stashed to get that greater buzz or drunkeness. I know I have to get testing done and see my doc...but im terrified of what she will tell me. That I may have cirrhosis of the liver or something else serious. I can't believe I've done this to myself. I don't want to tell my husband my fears as I dont want to scare him. I'm already thinking ill be leaving my adult son and 3 small babies behind....basically...im already seeing my funeral. The anxiety is getting worse....I can barely function as im so scared!
I have to post this and let it out..as I feel I don't want to scare my family. Feeling doomed!!! I go on here for support which helps....but its also affecting me to see people that have been drinking less years and less hard stuff already with liver disease and other serious stuff.
Anyway...thanks for reading this.
I have to post this and let it out..as I feel I don't want to scare my family. Feeling doomed!!! I go on here for support which helps....but its also affecting me to see people that have been drinking less years and less hard stuff already with liver disease and other serious stuff.
Anyway...thanks for reading this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
My advice: Don't 'future trip' as it gets you nowhere. For me most anxiety was related to the 'next drink' and was in reality my AV(mind) saying I was worried because "what if?"..Once I got some days behind me the "what if?" turned into "well..how do I deal with that besides drinking 'at it'? 9/10 times all the crap your mind is telling you is your AV, in early recovery. Don't drink(no matter what),get to a DR and deal with whatever you have to deal with...sober.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
STOP worrying yourself so much!!!
The worst thing you can do is think terrible things when you don't actually know what condition your body is in. Yes, you've been drinking for many years and yes there are negative results from drinking, but those things do not happen to everyone. The important thing is you have stopped drinking, which is the healthiest action you can take. The human body is incredible at recovering from things, so have your tests to see how you are, but until you know the results, don't think the worst.
The important thing is you are here right now, so don't waste any time thinking about the unlikely scenario that you won't be around for long.
I appreciate that the anxiety that comes from quitting drinking is initially terrible, but it lessens as you get more days under your belt, so you won't be panicking like this forever.
The worst thing you can do is think terrible things when you don't actually know what condition your body is in. Yes, you've been drinking for many years and yes there are negative results from drinking, but those things do not happen to everyone. The important thing is you have stopped drinking, which is the healthiest action you can take. The human body is incredible at recovering from things, so have your tests to see how you are, but until you know the results, don't think the worst.
The important thing is you are here right now, so don't waste any time thinking about the unlikely scenario that you won't be around for long.
I appreciate that the anxiety that comes from quitting drinking is initially terrible, but it lessens as you get more days under your belt, so you won't be panicking like this forever.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I understand your concern.
I drank for thirty years, twenty of those heavily and alcoholically. I don't have cirrhosis of the liver or anything else drinking related besides a lot of bad memories.
I agree that you're worrying yourself too much. And the anxiety. I hate that.
You're on day six. As you get some time under your belt, the anxiety will probably lessen.
I was brutally honest with my doctors about my drinking. They've heard it all before, so there's nothing to worry about on that front.
a simple blood test should alleviate your fears.
Please try not to worry so much, you're okay.
I drank for thirty years, twenty of those heavily and alcoholically. I don't have cirrhosis of the liver or anything else drinking related besides a lot of bad memories.
I agree that you're worrying yourself too much. And the anxiety. I hate that.
You're on day six. As you get some time under your belt, the anxiety will probably lessen.
I was brutally honest with my doctors about my drinking. They've heard it all before, so there's nothing to worry about on that front.
a simple blood test should alleviate your fears.
Please try not to worry so much, you're okay.
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,384
Constant anxiety can be tough to deal with, especially after we remove the alcohol that we'd always used to tamp it down. One thing that helped me a lot is meditation. It has really been a "game-changer" for me. I highly recommend the book 10% Happier by Dan Harris on this topic. It's not magic but it sure has been a godsend for me. It's a lot easier and less weird than it might seem at first glance. You can start with 5 minutes a day, just being still and paying attention to your breath. Then you build from there. I can do an hour a day now and there's absolutely nothing special or mystical about me, that's for damn sure.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by SnazzyDresser 
Constant anxiety can be tough to deal with, especially after we remove the alcohol that we'd always used to tamp it down. One thing that helped me a lot is meditation. It has really been a "game-changer" for me. I highly recommend the book 10% Happier by Dan Harris on this topic. It's not magic but it sure has been a godsend for me. It's a lot easier and less weird than it might seem at first glance. You can start with 5 minutes a day, just being still and paying attention to your breath. Then you build from there. I can do an hour a day now and there's absolutely nothing special or mystical about me, that's for damn sure.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
it is not unusual to wonder what all our vices might have done to our bodies (and minds!). however it IS concerning that your thoughts have gone to the fatal end of the spectrum.
your best option is make an appointment for a full check up. at that appt, tell your doctor exactly how much and how long you have been drinking. voice your concerns. ask for help. this is your turning point to turn worry and dread into positive action. you now can fully embrace a HEALTHY lifestyle....in all facets, not just NOT drinking.
we may have no control when we drink, but we certainly have amazing possibilities when we do not!
your best option is make an appointment for a full check up. at that appt, tell your doctor exactly how much and how long you have been drinking. voice your concerns. ask for help. this is your turning point to turn worry and dread into positive action. you now can fully embrace a HEALTHY lifestyle....in all facets, not just NOT drinking.
we may have no control when we drink, but we certainly have amazing possibilities when we do not!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 205
Why do you have to get testing done? Do you have symptoms that are troubling you? You are jumping the gun so much. The liver is a remarkable organ in that it quickly heals itself when you stop drinking. And you have stopped. Stop worrying, and don't drink today. You will be fine.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Leduc, Ab
Posts: 758
Hi Newme, I remember chatting with you on the chat.
I really don't give advise, don't even like the work to be honest.
What I will say and as others mentioned, it might be a good idea go see your Dr., be completely honest about how much and how frequently you drink and go from there.
As for the feeling of doom and anxiety, I can relate. I needed help with it and this site is a good start for support but I'd consider seeking more such as AA, but there are other options.
I found that hopeless feeling went away when I was surrounded by people who supported me and gave me hope that I can get through this.
I wish you all the best and thoughts and prayers are with you.
I really don't give advise, don't even like the work to be honest.
What I will say and as others mentioned, it might be a good idea go see your Dr., be completely honest about how much and how frequently you drink and go from there.
As for the feeling of doom and anxiety, I can relate. I needed help with it and this site is a good start for support but I'd consider seeking more such as AA, but there are other options.
I found that hopeless feeling went away when I was surrounded by people who supported me and gave me hope that I can get through this.
I wish you all the best and thoughts and prayers are with you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1
Day 2 for me, worried but feel better already!
This is my 2nd day sober. I've been drinking way too much for the last 15 years, with 2 separate year sober in between. I too am worried about my health and plan to go to the doctor also. I've stayed home all weekend eating healthy food (veggies and lean protein) and sleeping. Have to go to work tomorrow, my biggest challenge will be coming home after work. But I'm going swimming w/my friend. That should help
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by ColoradoWoman
This is my 2nd day sober. I've been drinking way too much for the last 15 years, with 2 separate year sober in between. I too am worried about my health and plan to go to the doctor also. I've stayed home all weekend eating healthy food (veggies and lean protein) and sleeping. Have to go to work tomorrow, my biggest challenge will be coming home after work. But I'm going swimming w/my friend. That should help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 104
Thank You
Just got back from celebrating Fathers Day with the hubby and kiddos ....it was nice to get some fresh air and try not think about my health and live in the present. Thank you to all who replied from the bottom of my heart....the support on here is such a blessing!! I'm so grateful for SR and all of you! Thank you for your comforting words...feedback...advice...thoughts and prayers! I pray and wish you all well in a lifetime of sobriety! Much Love ❤
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by DontRemember
My advice: Don't 'future trip' as it gets you nowhere. For me most anxiety was related to the 'next drink' and was in reality my AV(mind) saying I was worried because "what if?"..Once I got some days behind me the "what if?" turned into "well..how do I deal with that besides drinking 'at it'? 9/10 times all the crap your mind is telling you is your AV, in early recovery. Don't drink(no matter what),get to a DR and deal with whatever you have to deal with...sober.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 782
Originally Posted by Newme2018
Just got back from celebrating Fathers Day with the hubby and kiddos ....it was nice to get some fresh air and try not think about my health and live in the present. Thank you to all who replied from the bottom of my heart....the support on here is such a blessing!! I'm so grateful for SR and all of you! Thank you for your comforting words...feedback...advice...thoughts and prayers! I pray and wish you all well in a lifetime of sobriety! Much Love ❤
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by NerfThis
STOP worrying yourself so much!!!
The worst thing you can do is think terrible things when you don't actually know what condition your body is in. Yes, you've been drinking for many years and yes there are negative results from drinking, but those things do not happen to everyone. The important thing is you have stopped drinking, which is the healthiest action you can take. The human body is incredible at recovering from things, so have your tests to see how you are, but until you know the results, don't think the worst.
The important thing is you are here right now, so don't waste any time thinking about the unlikely scenario that you won't be around for long.
I appreciate that the anxiety that comes from quitting drinking is initially terrible, but it lessens as you get more days under your belt, so you won't be panicking like this forever.
The worst thing you can do is think terrible things when you don't actually know what condition your body is in. Yes, you've been drinking for many years and yes there are negative results from drinking, but those things do not happen to everyone. The important thing is you have stopped drinking, which is the healthiest action you can take. The human body is incredible at recovering from things, so have your tests to see how you are, but until you know the results, don't think the worst.
The important thing is you are here right now, so don't waste any time thinking about the unlikely scenario that you won't be around for long.
I appreciate that the anxiety that comes from quitting drinking is initially terrible, but it lessens as you get more days under your belt, so you won't be panicking like this forever.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by Ghostlight1
I understand your concern.
I drank for thirty years, twenty of those heavily and alcoholically. I don't have cirrhosis of the liver or anything else drinking related besides a lot of bad memories.
I agree that you're worrying yourself too much. And the anxiety. I hate that.
You're on day six. As you get some time under your belt, the anxiety will probably lessen.
I was brutally honest with my doctors about my drinking. They've heard it all before, so there's nothing to worry about on that front.
a simple blood test should alleviate your fears.
Please try not to worry so much, you're okay.
I drank for thirty years, twenty of those heavily and alcoholically. I don't have cirrhosis of the liver or anything else drinking related besides a lot of bad memories.
I agree that you're worrying yourself too much. And the anxiety. I hate that.
You're on day six. As you get some time under your belt, the anxiety will probably lessen.
I was brutally honest with my doctors about my drinking. They've heard it all before, so there's nothing to worry about on that front.
a simple blood test should alleviate your fears.
Please try not to worry so much, you're okay.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by SnazzyDresser
Constant anxiety can be tough to deal with, especially after we remove the alcohol that we'd always used to tamp it down. One thing that helped me a lot is meditation. It has really been a "game-changer" for me. I highly recommend the book 10% Happier by Dan Harris on this topic. It's not magic but it sure has been a godsend for me. It's a lot easier and less weird than it might seem at first glance. You can start with 5 minutes a day, just being still and paying attention to your breath. Then you build from there. I can do an hour a day now and there's absolutely nothing special or mystical about me, that's for damn sure.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by DontRemember
I'll add that journaling helped me tremendously! I do it when I wake up and have an hour to myself( recommended by an "old crazy dude from court ordered AA".) Who would have 'thunk' an old drunk from AA could turn me "on" in my mind?.. I no longer look at my phone for the first hour of my day..I read what I wrote down and focus on MY daily/life goals..Damn commonsense strikes again, in recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
it is not unusual to wonder what all our vices might have done to our bodies (and minds!). however it IS concerning that your thoughts have gone to the fatal end of the spectrum.
your best option is make an appointment for a full check up. at that appt, tell your doctor exactly how much and how long you have been drinking. voice your concerns. ask for help. this is your turning point to turn worry and dread into positive action. you now can fully embrace a HEALTHY lifestyle....in all facets, not just NOT drinking.
we may have no control when we drink, but we certainly have amazing possibilities when we do not!
your best option is make an appointment for a full check up. at that appt, tell your doctor exactly how much and how long you have been drinking. voice your concerns. ask for help. this is your turning point to turn worry and dread into positive action. you now can fully embrace a HEALTHY lifestyle....in all facets, not just NOT drinking.
we may have no control when we drink, but we certainly have amazing possibilities when we do not!
Thank you also for your advice and positive words!
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