Newme2018

Just need to vent and maybe looking for some comfort! I should be happy that the hubby is talking to me again...that I'm alive...and my kids are alive and well...but instead im feeling depressed anxiety and a sense of doom or dread. I'm so irritable and worried. Apparently I was so drunk my last binge I damaged my living room blinds. Appears I made some dents and a crack in them with a hand held hole puncher....I think. I don't recall doing this and im terrified of what else I could have done. Did the neighbors see me drunk in the day time? What else did I do? I put my kids in danger...I can't forgive myself. Im grateful nothing happened to my kids but something could have. I can't even talk about this with my husband...I want to go to the store to replace these blinds asap...I keep looking at them and feel more disgusted with myself. Anyway....****** mother I know...I can't even look at myself....but I have to carry on to care for my kids....

Also....I'm terrified of the damage I've done to my body with my 20 plus years of binge drinking. I'm a young mom with babies....they need me! I don't want to die and leave my babies so young!

Anyway....just gotta keep on pushing...fake it till I make it right!?!. Tomorrow is Fathers Day...my hubby deserves all great things...and I have nothing planned...

Anyway...thanks for listening

BDTL

How about picking tomorrow as your forever quit day from alcohol? What a great Dad's day present and also pretty special for the kids too.

Newme2018

Deal! Tomorrow will be day 6 of sobriety Thank you for responding BDTL....I'm crying tears of hope right now! Much love to you ❤🙏

Anna

Day 5 is great. You can get past the shame and guilt and be the mother and person you want to be.

It's not too late to plan something nice for your husband. Can your children help to make cards for him, or maybe a cake? I'm sure your sobriety is something of a gift to him.

Newme2018

Thanks Anna! I just pray and hope I haven't damaged my health so bad that I cant be here to raise my boys! 🙏

I feel so down I can barely get the necessities done to care for my babies....but you all here at SR are giving me some strength! Yes...I will plan somethimg with my kids to make a card and maybe go shopping ....I can do this!

OCDDan

Hi Newme, eventually, things Will return to normal. I know the feeling, don't sweat it too much, people understand,

TheSoberDude

Congrats on day 5!

Everlasting Sobriety is a gift from God. If you take care of it, let it consume you; life will become something so unimaginably awesome!

Newme2018

Thank you OCDDan and Soberdude for your encouraging words ❤

BDTL

It's never too late to start a fresh new journey towards better health and the real you. The old nasty alcohol will own you no more and you will be the person you have always admired. You got this and as the days add up you will see how much better life truly can be. Proud of ya!

Dee74

I think it's better to focus on today and the things you can change rather than things that might have happened, that you can't do anything about anyway?

5 days is a great start - keep it going Newme2018

D