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My AV is SCREAMING at me this morning...

Old 06-16-2018, 07:32 AM
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My AV is SCREAMING at me this morning...

... but I cannot, will not drink.

Iím having intense pain from endometriosos, did get a new presciption for painkillers a couple days ago but never got it filled... been close to tears the past few hours.... now itís another 1 1/2 hours til the pharmacy opens (closest 24 hr pharmacy is over 1 hour drive... couldnít make that when Iím in pain like this).

Hardly got any sleep so still laying in bed, king size bed yet my two dogs have to snuggle up right next to me or on top of me. My chi/dox pup has recently started to dig to get under the sheets then noses her way into my t-shirt, and likes to sleep stretched out right along my back, sheís soft and comforting and I feel bad when I have to get up to use the loo, she always looks so sad and confused when I wake her up and dump her out of my shirt, then she and my other pup if sheís awake, will follow me to the bathroom, theyíre like my shadows and never want to be away from me.

Theyíre why Iím staying sober, I promised them I would. I didnít want to resort to taking painkillers which is why I didnít get my prescription filled yet... I never take them frequently enough to get addicted to them, but some days my endo pain is so unbearable I have to take something just so I can get sleep and make it through the day. My husband used to take care of the pups when I needed sleep but since he left Iím all they have so donít want to be passed out for 12 hours, finally wake up and thereís a dozen dog toys surrounding me in bed, me feeling bad because I slept through a couple playtime sessions.

They have grooming appointments today but thinking Iím going to leave a message to reschedule hope they can fill my 2 spots with other clients. I felt so great physically just 8 or so hours ago but I can tell the next couple weeks are going to be bad.

But I refuse to start drinking again. Not just for myself but also for my precious furbabies.... who are now both awake ears twitching at the sound of birds outside. Iím not religious but I do believe they are angels sent from heaven to take care of me and keep me company and keep me sober when my marriage broke up... which I believe was inevitable. Life is so precious canít believe how much I wasted drinking and not appreciating the happier things in life.

Wishing everyone a happy sober weekend and give your furbabies, and human babies too, extra hugs and kisses this weekend.
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Old 06-16-2018, 07:49 AM
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Keep chasing the AV from your thoughts with doggie playtime! (I use kitty playtime.)
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Old 06-16-2018, 05:46 PM
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Iím so sorry you are having a rough go of it. I also have fur babies that are of great comfort and companionship. I was sober for 5 months before I starting craving alcohol again. I truly think anxiety is what caused me to drink. I got instant relief - until I needed the next drink and on and on.... get the rest you need. Grooming can wait! Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.
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Old 06-16-2018, 08:00 PM
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I hope you're feeling better now Katzen
D
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