Temptation and Inspiration
It's amazing to me I've come this far and how much my mentality has changed when it comes to drinking.
This weekend I'm dog-sitting for a friend. Great pup, very sweet, a little anxious - she freaks out at dog-walkers she hasn't met and sometimes ones she has but loves it when I come over. She seems to sense when I'm in pain or feeling anxious and she offers cuddles and licks.
As it happens, my friend left a TON of booze in the fridge. A whole fifth of vodka, a six-pack of a good lager, and a bottle of wine.
Ordinarily, I would be all over that ****. I've been here an hour and a half- my best guess is I would have had a shot of vodka and 3 beers by now, just starting to feel the buzz - in that magical part of the top of the bell curve before you start to get earnestly drunk.
It looks disgusting to me now. When I saw the vodka in the freezer my stomach turned over a little. I wish it wasn't there, but I honestly feel no temptation whatsoever. This will be the first time ever I leave my friend's booze untouched. She'll return to find a full bottle of vodka, a full bottle of wine, and 6 beers.
What a change.
I'm grateful I stopped when I did and hopeful it's not too late. I'm going to see a hepatologist next week. I'm also grateful for all the support I've received here.
My 20s are gone and my liver hurts. I'm still alive, though, and at least one dog really likes me.
Be good to yourselves.