Been Battling This for So Long-ER again
 

I've been to the ER 3 times in the past 11 months.

This last time my platelets were dangerously low had to be infused.

I feel absolutely crazy!

How many times have you been to rehab?

I've never actually been to rehab. There's a local place that I'm going to early Monday morning for assessment. It's 1st come 1st serve because I don't have insurance.

I'm going to die if I don't get this done!

good on ya!!
your thread title says
Been Battling This for So Long-ER again

instead of battling, it would be wise to surrender- admit and accept alcohol has ya whipped.
what do you have planned to do to help your recovery until monday?

I've been passing out and falling down a lot!!
I'm assuming I'm blacking out.

I'm on prednisone and Librium. I have stomach meds for nausea.
I'm in bed sick today. I've been drinking a lot. At least I wasn't sick enough to be kept in the hospital this last time but it won't long if I don't stop.

I already have liver disease. Had it for awhile I'm sure I'm not the only one here that probably has it too. This is getting really scary for me.

Three choices - locked up, covered up, or get sober is what I've been told.

Marissa, I'm glad you're looking at rehab on Monday. I hope you can get in. I understand how scary it is for you now.

I just don't have anyone to go with me.

Do you need someone to go with you?

this may sound callous but.....did you NEED anyone to help you drink?

this is your chance, marissa. embrace it. be open. go and get the help that is offered and that you so need. you CAN recover.

I have this feeling I'm going to bust out crying while I'm there.

I would bet good money that everyone who goes there does that. It's okay. It won't hurt you or them.

nothing wrong with that.
my first AA meeting when i was ready, all i could say when it was my turn was ,"im tom im an alcoholic and i cant take it anymore" then broke down crying for the rest of the meeting.
i didnt have to say anything else- those people understood and many had been in my shoes at one time.

I'm with Tom. When I checked into rehab I was a wet blubbering mess. I was embarrassed and ashamed, but no one judged or said a word, cuz they had ALL been in that position before. No one quits drinking because their life is going well..

If you call your local AA, someone will go with you.

Same with me, I cried and shook so badly. One of the gals just held me and let me cry. She even cried with me. She knew because she had been where I was. That ole' alcoholic pride will kill us. When I was drunk I used to get on the telephone with people who didn't even want to talk to me and I'd cry and moan and whine at them. Thank God they stopped letting me hold them hostage on the phone and left me to my own devices. When I cried at my first meeting, I was crying because I knew left to my own devices, I was hopeless.

I hope you follow through Marissa - you need to do something different, yeah?

D

It sounds like you've been terrified to face this. maybe because it has already made you sick, and that's frightening.

Rehab will be a good place, a nurturing place. Alcohol is only darkness. The word "rehab" seems like a rough word, but you will find light there, and help too.

Please find it in you to go on monday. You can never be sure how many Mondays you have left.

Good luck on Monday Marissa!