Buckley3

Had a court date yesterday. We recieved the plea offer from the state for the OWI charge. There's still an opportunity to negotiate a bit but I'm fairly certain I know what I'm facing.

For the 3rd I'll be spending just under 7 months in work release. It's a 9 month sentence reduced by 25% for good time. I'll have a restricted license for 33 months.... which, in the grand scheme of things... is not that bad at all. I live a simple life now and have hardly even noticed any inconvenience due to the current restrictions on my license.

The fines weren't nearly as bad as I thought they would be - but they are still very stout (I'd been preparing for absolute worst case.)

When I initially received the info about the offer from my attorney it took my breath away a bit. Rather stout - there are aggravating factors that are driving the penalty - namely my very high BAC and the fact that I hit a telephone pole.

That said, it was actually a touch less time than I was preparing myself for and I managed to get over the initial anxiety fairly quick. It could be so so so much worse. I continue to be grateful that I did not hurt anyone.

So, at this point... 112 days after my accident... I now know - quantifiably - what all I'm facing. I have to say it feels great to know. Looking back, the moments of anxiety were always - always - about the uncertainty.

I want the tone of this to reflect my mood - optimistic, responsible, sober, hopeful, grateful, and genuinely excited about my future.

I've learned a tremendous amount in the last 112 days. I've received some amazing support. There is something very cleansing about all this.

I plan to treat the impending confinement as a sort of 'boot camp.' I'm fortunate to be on work release and to have a great job. I'm fortunate to be able to keep that job. Though I have to stress too - and give myself credit - for making some very hard decisions and working very hard to put myself in a position that I can keep that job. It's not been easy, but then, life isn't easy. We have two choices - deal with it on it's terms, or run from it. Not making a choice is making a choice.

There's a work out room at my office. I plan to use the time I'm away to save money, quit smoking, work out, and do some writing/ prepare some material so that when I'm released I'll hit the ground running in launching a consulting business as an independent contractor.

I think the thing that gives me the most pain as I read things here and as I attend group meetings of various types is the hopelessness I see in people. I can relate... I've been in that pit. But I simply can't stress enough that we are capable of far more than we give ourselves credit for. But it's essential to stop b.s.'ing our way through it. We have to face life and make decisions. We have to change our self defeating attitudes. Even the worst of situations can provide positive experience if we choose to shift our perspective. I've learned that there is a TON we can do to influence situations to positive outcomes if we can just get out of our heads and get over ourselves and our shame and guilt long enough to own it and take action. (For example, I'm meeting someone at the local county jail to discuss how to be prepared and to be proactive about getting transferred. Doing so will reduce the time of my transfer by almost a week and also give me the opportunity to not have to deal with logistical stuff in those first few days of transition. That little stuff makes a BIG difference in how things are managed, but if I just sat around feeling sorry for myself none of it would be possible. I've found that people at the jail are very willing to talk about it and help you if you just ask.)

It's amazing to me how powerful of a tool our ability to consciously decide how we want to look at things, how we want to deal with things can be.

I'll be posting less. Fading into the background a bit as I quietly get and stay in the groove of sober living (it rocks.) I'll be quietly paying what I owe for my mistake and then moving on. I will not be spending much time looking back.

Thank you so much SR. When I came here 112 days ago I was shattered, broken. I was physically bruised and sore from the accident. I had no car, no phone, no money. I was facing losing my job unless I did what I thought was impossible and cleaned up and sold my home. I was facing bankruptcy unless I sold my home within a very limited time frame (received a note yesterday, the buyer is actually wanting to move the closing date up so it looks like it's going to happen.) I was just simply lost and broken and the support I received here made a huge huge difference. For that I'm grateful.

Thanks.

-B

MidnightRider

Buckley - I thank you for posting and commend you for your attitude.

It sounds like you now have clear defined life goal.. get through the "boot camp" ... Become a new and amazing person.

Good things come from those that work hard... good to see.

Dee74

I hope you'll keep posting updates at last - but continued best wishes either way Buckley

D

MissPerfumado

Very inspiring to read, Buckley. All the best as you continue to journey onward. You've done a lot of work by facing up to the tough decisions and owning your part in it. It really shows and you will be rewarded with a better life.

Delilah1

Hi Buckley,

Your positive attitude continues to inspire me. I'm glad you know what is going to happen so you can prepare, and get through it, and move on. I really hope you will consider still posting, at least updates. Either way, I wish you lots of love.