Life can still be tough, but at least I'm sober
 

Wow.

What a week it's been. On at least three occasions in the last week, I've had unpleasant things happen and thought - I would so have run to a bottle of wine (and more) just two and a half years ago.

1. Last week, my boyfriend of one year called time on our relationship. This one thing had brought me so much joy and happiness. He was just the man of my dreams - kind, gentle, smart, responsible, loving, and handsome! But for now, it's over. I don't wish to go into the detail of it, suffice to say that breaking up is not something either of us chose. It has to do with stuff from his past that he has to sort out, and it's not a good idea for us to be together until he does. We remain friends but it's like a bandaid being peeled off slowly. I miss him so badly and I've been repressing a lot of emotion over it the last few days.

2. I had to pay an unexpectedly large tax bill last Tuesday. It was a lot higher than my accountant had told me it would be, and set me back quite a bit. For a couple of weeks, I wasn't even sure how I would get it paid, but being sober means I was more resourceful and didn't bury my head in the sand. At some point, I called my bank and ended up refinancing my house.

3. Then today, I had an unpleasant phone call with a client where it was brought to my attention that an email I sent 3 weeks ago ended up with negative consequences for my client. It was a case of bad judgment and a slip on my part as to how I worded things. The client was nice about it but I have let him down.

It's Friday afternoon here, and I wish I could go for a run to clear my head, but I have a broken foot that's healing so even that is not possible!

So, love, money, work .... everything is going south at the same time.

But I am sober, and I am strong, and I have people who love me like my family whom I can call on. Life goes on.

And drinking is NOT an option. Not now when the chips are down and not ever.

x
MissP

Miss,

You have unlearned drinking. I believe I have as well.

We here all are aware now of the effects etc. Other than the mind numbing euphoria.

I didn't crave much today, but I had a large tea and also some creatine preworkout.

I wonder if caffeine etc alter cravings.

Still trying to doze off.

Thanks.

There was a time for me when drinking wasn't optional. It was never wil I? won't I, I just did, nothing optional about it.

Then, when I got on the path to permanent recovery, it wasn't an option either. Still no will I, won't I? It just never came up.

I had some knocks in early sobriety. Lost my job, lost the woman of my dreams (nightmares), had all my work kit stolen including my boots, yet drinking never came up as an option. I am guessing because none of that stuff had anything to do with whether I would stay sober or not.

My real options were to find another place to live, get another job, which I did, and both things were better than what I had previously. I was able to cope because I was sober, and I was sober because I never took my eye off the ball, that is, the program I was working to recover remained the number one priority throughout all the drama.

I have been through much greater problems since then, and still it has not occurred to me to drink. Not an option I declined, just not an option at all.

Awesome, well done Miss! That’s how I feel these days as well: If something goes wrong (and it does every so often), why would it make it worse by drinking over it? Does not make the least bit of sense. But I remember all too well that there was a time when it seemed to make perfect sense: when I was in the throes of my addiction, my AV constantly suggested that emptying half a handle of Vodka would fix things. Lol, yeah right, thanks a lot!

So sorry to hear about your hardships Miss P. Sending a virtual hug your way. Thanks for sharing.

Sending support and understanding your
way. Life will continue to happen each and
everyday just as it is suppose to do. We,
on the other hand, can reach for our recovery
program learned and incorporated in
all areas of our life situations and remain
sober or clean.

Continuous recovery on a daily bases
will help build a strong, solid foundation
to live your life upon for yrs ahead of you.

Use you recovery lifelines to guide
you and support you along your own
journey in life to achieve health, happiness
and many more awesome rewards life
has to offer you to appreciate and be
grateful for. :)

I don't love that you're having troubles Miss P, but I love your post. Thanks for showing us how serenity works in real life.

:c011:

Very sorry to hear of your hardships, but so proud you got through it without drinking. LIfe is still life, even when sober, right? Good job. Things will get better.

Thank you everyone. I've read your kind words carefully and each of your messages made me feel better. I really did not feel like drinking at all but could recognise how it was almost the perfect storm for a relapse, given how important my relationship and my job are to me.

I ended up calling my sister who gave me some words of encouragement, and I know I am loved and supported by my family. I also went out with friends last night to watch a football game - and my team won at least!!

And I had good news from work about something else, which made me feel optimistic about work again.

Just riding the ups and downs of life...sober.

I am grateful to all you SR folk for being here. It was nice to be able to just get my feelings out on a really bad day for me, and have your support back. Thank you.

You are strong and brave and willing to work with life's ups and downs, rather than to try to numb them away. It sounds like you're starting to feel a bit better and I hope that things continue to work out for you. And, of course they will, as long as you are sober. :)

MissP - Thank you for an uplifting & encouraging post. I wish I could go back & handle all my troubles with a clear head. I made so many foolish mistakes & judgments - thinking I was 'fine' & not impaired.

I'm glad to see your update & to know things are a bit better. You're going with the ebb and flow. There's no other way. :)

Thank you for your inspiration
 

What an awesome post.

I love that you are dealing with all this stuff sober, even though it is a difficult time for you.

A relationship I was in ended recently due to the negative impact of my alcoholism upon it.

I have financial issues that are significant, and some legal ones also.

Facing them sober is essential for me too, no other way.

my drinking created all these problems, so drinking as a solution is ********.

Am with you in spirit fellow traveller

Vandermast

I'm late to the thread but thanks for sharing that MissP.
Hope next week is better for you :)

D

Thanks so much for sharing Miss P. Your post really inspired and encouraged me as I, too, am struggling with life issues anI also can't exercise since I'm recovering from foot surgery. I hope things continue to get better for you. :grouphug: