The word "Only"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 2
The word "Only"
I hear a lot of people say I "Only" have this many days/weeks/months. One day for this alcoholic was a minor miracle. In early sobriety it's been my experience that we do not credit ourselves for the progress we've made. We concentrate on the past and sometimes forget that we are making progress if we didn't drink today. It's a tricky balance I realize. Days of sobriety vs. years of carnage.
It's not a slogan - We only have today.
It's not a slogan - We only have today.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 275
startedliving, gosh, this really resonated with me. In the past year, I kept getting 2, 3, and 4 days under my belt before I would reset the clock and do 2, 3, 4 days of drinking before starting again. I would read posts of people saying they were only at 7 or 10 days and I'd think they'd won the lottery.
Due to me finally coming really clean with a new therapist, I have just now started being able to add to those early days to create longer stretches.
I can still find ways to be less-than-truthful in those sessions, but lately I've been finally moving toward a "that's-not-an-option" approach even despite feeling like alcohol is sometimes my only option to combat daily, unrelenting, chronic pain issues (or, of course, to combat anxiety, boredom, anger, loneliness, or perhaps just celebrate that it is Tuesday).
The "not-an-option" strategy is the only thing that's got me to a miraculous, lottery-winning 15 days as of today, besting my 14 days from April 2017. I'm both psyched and terrified to be at this number.
The other critical factor: None of these days would have been possible without SR. I tried to quit what feels like a zillion times before, but it wasn't until I joined SR about a year ago that I finally started consistently getting those 2, 3, or 4 days under my belt. And those days matter. I recently checked and though I didn't have a lot of continuous stuff, I had reduced my drinking by 50% in the past year. Thank you SR!!!!
I, too, still think of my 15 as "only" when I see how much others have attained in months and years, decades even. While I sometimes despair about the gap, I also look at those stories and think "if they did it, then that means people can do it, which means I can do it" (a little Aristotlean I admit but still...)
An interesting thing I'm finding about this virgin territory is that I'm working harder now that I have an amount of time under my belt that haven't attained in 14 months. The additional days give me momentum because I can still remember how desperately long each of those days felt (makes that feels).
But I think each day on the road is a day farther down the road regardless of whether you get off for a time. The time you've traveled down the road will forever be with you, and the more it grows, the more you've got to fight AV.
biminiblue, what an incredibly compassionate way to think about "only." Thank you.
Due to me finally coming really clean with a new therapist, I have just now started being able to add to those early days to create longer stretches.
I can still find ways to be less-than-truthful in those sessions, but lately I've been finally moving toward a "that's-not-an-option" approach even despite feeling like alcohol is sometimes my only option to combat daily, unrelenting, chronic pain issues (or, of course, to combat anxiety, boredom, anger, loneliness, or perhaps just celebrate that it is Tuesday).
The "not-an-option" strategy is the only thing that's got me to a miraculous, lottery-winning 15 days as of today, besting my 14 days from April 2017. I'm both psyched and terrified to be at this number.
The other critical factor: None of these days would have been possible without SR. I tried to quit what feels like a zillion times before, but it wasn't until I joined SR about a year ago that I finally started consistently getting those 2, 3, or 4 days under my belt. And those days matter. I recently checked and though I didn't have a lot of continuous stuff, I had reduced my drinking by 50% in the past year. Thank you SR!!!!
I, too, still think of my 15 as "only" when I see how much others have attained in months and years, decades even. While I sometimes despair about the gap, I also look at those stories and think "if they did it, then that means people can do it, which means I can do it" (a little Aristotlean I admit but still...)
An interesting thing I'm finding about this virgin territory is that I'm working harder now that I have an amount of time under my belt that haven't attained in 14 months. The additional days give me momentum because I can still remember how desperately long each of those days felt (makes that feels).
But I think each day on the road is a day farther down the road regardless of whether you get off for a time. The time you've traveled down the road will forever be with you, and the more it grows, the more you've got to fight AV.
biminiblue, what an incredibly compassionate way to think about "only." Thank you.
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