Half dead and my sponsor has ditched me
 

Hey. I am not sleeping well. Çan barely walk or drive still. My sponsor is not interested. She didn't even reply to the Tex from the hospital. I believe I can recover. So tired. My brain is just a fog. I am slowly getting more energy each day. I couldn't even grocery shop again.

Not meaning to offend, but have you been drinking at all, sweetichick?

D

I know you can recover. Don't fret over your sponsor. Take care of yourself.

No I haven't been drinking just feeling worse. Too scared because of the chest pains. My parents won't help, my ex won't talk to me. I have been put on a strict diet to lose weight. None of this performs to àa standards.

what do you suppose has led you sponsor to step away, sweetichick?

In my own experience as a sponsor or a sponsor-like friend, there have been several times I've also had to make that choice.

I can tell you that it's heart breaking, but in my experience, usually comes from a place of necessity and love.

Have you chosen in your heart, fully, NOW, to embrace sobriety?

What can you focus on right now, to ACT in support of sobriety?

:grouphug:

I am doing everything I can to support sobriety. It's a tough road. My sponsor dumped me for reasons she hasn't disclosed.

Aww, sweetichick. I'm so sorry you are feeling it so rough right now. I do think you deserve to know why your sponsor dropped you. Any way you can call her and ask?

I'm glad you're not drinking and are committed to recovery sweetichick :)

Hope you find another sponsor soon :)

D

So you drank again?

Did she actually “dump you” or could she perhaps have something personal going on in her life that she can’t take the responsibility of being a sponsor so you should get a new sponsor?

I had an OB/GYN that one day received a phone call from her office saying she was cancelling all her appointments and taking leave for an unknown amount of time, I asked why but receptionist said she didn’t know why or if/when she’d return to her practice at that hospital.

WTH? Was she going to another hospital, that’s what it sounded like.... that was my first assumption. I felt betrayed because she said nothing about leaving when I saw her a few days prior, and I was going there at least once a month trying to get my endo and anemia under control and perhaps have a hysterectomy. I trusted her because she was the first OB/GYN I had in over 30 years that cared to take tests and diagnose my heavy painful periods as endometriosis instead of some jerk doctors (male and female) that dismissed it as something all women go through, take some OTC painkillers.

I didn’t make an appointment with another doctor, drank more for maybe a couple weeks or a month... Then decided to Goggle her name to see if she went to another hospital. She had a uncommon name so was easy to find her medical school history, other places she practiced...

... and an obituary saying her 6 year old daughter had died (it didn’t say how she died, just “suddenly”). How hard it must have been losing her only child, an OB/GYN who sees pregnant women everyday would have an even more difficult time recovering and returning to work. I then understood why she left and shame on me for jumping to any wrong conclusions.

Sweetichick, please don’t take it personally unless you know the facts... and keep posting and reading these forums, you’ll find lots of love and respect here.

How is this a thing? and for the love of god..why are you calling your "ex"? come'on...Own your stuff.

Edit: I'm not sure which "AA standards" you speak of..

It's HALT don't get hungry. And don't stop smoking is actually in the big book. Meetings even if you miss dinner was what I was told. Maybe this is an Aussie thing.

What is YOUR sobriety plan? Without any outside influence..what's your plan?

Strict diet and exercise is what the doctors recommend. Plus I will throw in a few meetings. I can barely think straight.

My ex is a dog. I have cut off all contact. Delivering his stuff back to his aunty to get rid of the bad karma.

Where's the love and respect

You sound like you could use some rest - maybe an early night.
Maybe you should call one of those house call Drs tomorrow sweetichick?

D

Ok Dee. Sounds good.

Sweetchick, I am not an AA person but it doesn't make sense to me why diet and exercise should be against the rules. Both work wonders for physical and mental recovery.

AA is not a medical community.
Follow the doctor's orders.

If you have immediate non-judgemental support, SR is always here.

And more than a sponsor you need a PLAN to stay sober. The plan which will always be there doesn't matter what.

You have to be honest with yourself about what stays in your way to recovery.

I've never been to AA, never had a sponsor, but planning my actions ahead and making sobriety priority #1 worked.

Take care of yourself.

it must be an aussie big book because i did an extensive search of mine and dont find it anywhere.
whether the big book says it or not, dont you think its wise to stop smoking,too?

showing self love would be the best love there is,sweeti. doesnt matter how much we show love, it hasnt done anything to help so far- ya gotta love yourself first.