From it stem all forms of Spiritual Disease Hey SR! I can’t really complain about much lately just a few luxury problems but if there is one thing that has been eating my lunch lately it’s Resentment. I haven’t done a 4th step in a few months and feel like I may need to go back and do another. As they say it’s definitely progress not perfection. I like what was said especially about grace and I have to remind myself to not be judge and jury some days. When I first did my 4th step there was a lot of resentment surrounding my family but that has since subsided with the miracle of 5, 6 & 7 and the program. Lately I think my resentments have been more targeted at friends and a few institutions. I have a few friends that I have since made amends to that I don’t feel like have really made an effort to reconnect. That is their deal and I know that all I can do is keep my side of the street clean. I also know that the healing on both sides does take time. As I walk through recovery I also find that certain friends that I had when I drank aren’t really the best for me now. I’m a little sad by that but I think what I need to do is accept it. I also have a resentment toward a certain class of people here in Colorado. Specifically those who have moved here to just build it up and “play monopoly”. I think in a nutshell I’m angry and resentful because this is a place that I’ve wanted to live for most of my life and have for the last 13 years but seeing it become a big city is upsetting to me along with a lot of other people that have lived here for quite awhile. The persona of the city has changed small affordable mom and pop restaurants have been replaced for overpriced establishments that charge 15 bucks for a burger. The traffic has gotten bad and there are more and more people driving around the city like their hair is on fire. Frankly it sucks! I didn’t sign up for this and resent the fact that I have to move from a place that once in my opinion was such a nice little city and the words of a friend who is a native has been “destroyed”. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change and the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Felt good to write that out..thanks everyone! Hope everyone has an amazing resentment free day! Garrison |
Hi Garrison :) As a long time reader let me throw this out there: do you think you're maybe still carrying a resentment about having to move back to the city? D |
What does the changing landscape of a city have to do with step 4? Adapt, or get out of dodge. And the 12-steps don’t have the answer for life: just recovery from alcoholism. |
actually the 12 steps dovetail pretty neatly with my idea of what a spiritual life should look like - but then again recovery is more to me than just not drinking. D |
Originally Posted by daredevil
(Post 6923893)
And the 12-steps don’t have the answer for life: just recovery from alcoholism. when i was diagnosed with cancer and everything i went through for 2 1/2 years, when a friend committed suicide, moms death, a sponsee died from alcoholism,, and a lot more. i found the answer in the steps. |
I am glad it worked for you, tomsteve. But the steps only offer recovery from alcoholism. That is it. Your nascent understanding of the AA program of recovery is odd, given how often you tout it. To say that the steps offer anything more than recovery from alcoholism, i.e., a panacea for life, is factually incorrect. |
Let try and stick to the theme. If you have criticisms of AA daredevil, consider this might not be the most appropriate thread to air them. Start another thread if you like. Dee Moderator SR |
As long as you aren't drinking, seems like just life stuff to work through. And man is there enough of that, especially when we get sober. |
Thanks for the post - Yes, We claim spiritual progress not perfection. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I chuckled reading about the "class of people who moved here".........Made me think of the indigenous tribes pushed out in the past. I lived in AZ relocating from Midwest in late 70's. After few years I couldn't believe how many people continued to pour in - how dare they?!> Now I live in the Deep South and have for many years. Daily, I hear the question asked "Where you from?!" Haaa! I respond by saying Europe, that typically garners a quizzical look with the response of - "I thought I heard an accent. " Your thread reminded me of this " Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code." I greatly appreciate your comments and your sharing, prompted me to get back on the beam - I've been negligent in my nightly 10th. |
weeelllll...the people who move there are just doing what you did, no? if it's such a lovely place, no wonder it grows in leaps and bounds! as far as another step four, step ten actually includes four and up, making it an ideal one to carry on with:) |
Originally Posted by daredevil
(Post 6923921)
I am glad it worked for you, tomsteve. But the steps only offer recovery from alcoholism. That is it. Your nascent understanding of the AA program of recovery is odd, given how often you tout it. To say that the steps offer anything more than recovery from alcoholism, i.e., a panacea for life, is factually incorrect. |
i hope today brings a little clarity for ya,comtnman. pen to paper would be a great thing for ya. it seems that since youve moved from the mountains, this has been a recurring theme- anger and resentments towards everything big city.please get into a bit of 4th step work. probably wise to back up a few steps,though- start at step 1- powerless over people and making your life unmanagable. wanna keep being nuts? go no further. wanna get out of it? put God back in control write it out. remember- no one forced you to move there- its their city,too, and they were there before you. ya may want to reread this https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-serenity.html And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life —unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes. Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God’s handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God |
I agree with Dee 100%. I moved from Silicon Valley 13 years ago, right before the recession hit. The small town I moved to was starting to grow, big influx of Californians. But when the recession hit everything stopped.....it was kind of sad. Now? It's exploding. Good for me because my house is appreciating nicely. But the traffic is awful. Prices are rising. And there are a lot of natives that are resentful.....thinking their kids will never be able to afford a house....which is probably true. Such is life. What goes up, will come down, then Go up etc. and so on. Just is. All I know is if I were new I'd change my Cali plates fast. Locals will start using em for target practice :) I'm in the Bay Area now. Talk about growth. I had to leave here because I refused to stay in the life of work my Azz off 24/7. It's accept it or leave. |
Thanks for all of the input everyone! This resentment is one of those that I have to work on EVERYDAY and a part of me doesn’t want to accept that it’s acceptance that is the key. Wow is that a mouthful?! Lol I think it is also about patience. Dee you’re correct in that I am having a difficult time adapting to the city. My girlfriend and I both would like to get out of the city sooner than later so this is something that we both want. I think I need to remain patient and grateful. We are saving quite a bit of money and it is allowing us to travel more. We’re heading out on the road for close to a month in July. Heading up to Banff NP! I hope to get to a Canadian meeting along with a few in ID and maybe MT. Garrison |
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