RE: Sorry to bother you guys..
 

I'm wondering if any of you could help me please? There are so many requests out there that are far more serious than mine so I'll try to be quick. I'm due to go on a sunny holiday next week and it'll be my first one as a sober adult. I'm looking forward to it but also half-dreading it. Can anyone please re-post a past thread/link that they found useful so that I may read advice as to how others approached it? Planning ahead :) Many thanks - really appreciate it. Yix x

There are plenty of refreshing beverages, in addition to virgin drinks like Bloody Marys and margaritas. I can't tell the taste difference in a virgin Bloody Mary or margarita. Of course, there's no buzz, but to me, the taste is the same. Perhaps others will chime in.

Also- no one is a bother. Every post is important!

Here's how I see it as a sober vacationer:

I go places that have other things to do that I like to do. I plan my time out and stay busy.

It kind of depends on where you're going and with whom, ya know? I always have an escape plan and I don't go out with people just to drink. If they drink during meals and get obnoxious I leave. Early to bed and early to rise!

If you're in a hotel room or stateroom, you can have them empty the in-room mini-bar of any alcohol.

I also get to eat all the food on vacation, that's the best part.

Definitely not an unserious request. Sobriety on a vacation/business trip is a difficult undertaking, especially early in one's sobriety. You'll hear from a lot of people on this board, or if you search for my old posts, who will tell you they would skip out, wouldn't go at all. I don't have that advice but I'm no pro, so take it with a grain of salt.

Are you going with family? Friends? Business colleagues?

Will it be a drunkfest or is there just going to be some social drinking here and there?

I, for one, cannot wait for a future of sober vacations. To think of all the wasted mornings and nights I spent drunk or hungover while away somewhere I might never get back to.

The two things I very much rec that served me well and I will use in the future are 1. giving yourself outs/escapes from any drunken activities that you fear might lead to a slip up and 2. visualizing the trip sober.

The first is pretty obvious - have family/friends who are with you know that you are going to be sober for the trip helps as well. But have a sponsor on call, or use this site - so that if you are tempted you can reach out. Call it an early night if things get difficult and you are out with drinkers. etc.

The visualization to me is huge. Sounds kind of cheesy but very effective. Plus if it worked for Michael Jordan (who used to visualize games before they happened) then it's good enough for me. Give yourself some time before your trip and walk yourself through the entire time. From airport/train station, to hotels, activities etc. Picture yourself choosing not to drink, enjoying where you are, being slightly frustrated with not drinking if that arises, capitalizing on the sober mornings you will have, taking advantage of where you will be because you are sober, visualizing dinners out while others drink and you stay in control, happy, confident and sober. It will give you a map for the time away and instill confidence.

Finally plan some things that you would not be able to do if you were a drunken mess - whether that's sports or museums or food or whatever you are into. Early walk around the city or the beach, ability to remember everything you do and see.

Just some thoughts. But definitely stay in touch here and let us know what your plans are and how it goes.

not a bother and very good question,yixi. its good to read the concern.
id say plan activities. there has to be sites to see and things to do. thats what vacations are for.


with any drinking situation- have the right motive for being there IF you have to be there. if/when there, see what you can add to the occasion rather than what you can get out of it.
ALWAYS have an escape route and dont be afraid to use it.

Very good question. I'm new to this, but what comes to mind is to remember (and make a list of) all the good things to do on vacation that don't involve drinking. There are sights to see, walks to take, people to meet, architecture to look at, lakes and beaches to see, shops to visit, and so on. So many things that are fun and rewarding and yet don't involve drinking. Do all that other stuff, and you'll have such better memories than just time spent drinking.

All the best to you. And have fun!

I know that there is a thread by Dee about facing social events sober. You should PM him or Anna to post it.

Thank you all so much. It's not a drunken group holiday, (I know I couldn't go on that!), it's a holiday with my partner who is kind and lovely - bless him, I won't have any pressure at all from him. The pressure would come from ME! I fully intend not to drink alcohol but I've always associated holidays in the sun with it. I'll be extra careful, (I'm up mega early so I'll be an hour in the pool before anyone gets up, I've hired a quad bike so off to see archeological sites etc). I'm very thankful for your replies and I'll let you know how I get on :) Much love x

Thanks Gilmer - I've been just checking holidays - never thought of that :) x

Thanks Less :) x

Hi Yixi! I am on the last day of a weeks holiday in Croatia at the moment so here are my tips.
Get them to empty the minibar
Go to a supermarket on day 1 and get some soft drinks to put in the minibar
Get some cheese and crackers for the room too so if you get hungry you can have a nibble (thinking HALT)
If the have a sauna/steam room use them to get away from seeing booze everywhere
Use the gym/swimming pools and do some exercise everyday
Take a meditation music on your phone and headphones so you can zone out and chill if you get overwhelmed
Get fruit in the fridge too to manage sugar cravings so you have it to hand

I have found it hard only in the sense that all the soft drinks here were really high sugar and make my teeth feel furry lol. The hotel only served coke/Fanta or 7up or very small bottles of tonic water and mixers (2 gulps and it’s gone) so I was thirsty alot.

I can’t say it wasn’t hard at times watching people have wine with their meals but I kept in mind that I would not have one, i’d Have a bottle, then drink the minibar dry, probably wet the bed and wake up feeling like hell and not leaving the hotel the next day so running that tape through in m mind really helped.

Have a wonderful time, you’ve got this xx

Great thread, thank you so much. Lots of good advice here. I am also planning a good long week of vacation in July, I am very interested in how I'm going to make this awesome and sober!
Thanks for starting this thread Yixi

I'm an A.A. person so I always look for meetings for the city I'm visiting ahead of time and plan to go to at least one. It helps renew my strength and I get to meet new people.

I do think it depends on the company you will be with. Supportive family/friends....drunken buddies etc. A sober vacation is absolutely possible. You just need to determine your game plan ahead of time based on company. Also plan on a drink you plan to order. I have been on tropical vacations and enjoy virgin pina coladas. You still can enjoy vacation without the alcohol.

3 of the best Yixi :)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html

Have a great sober holiday :)

D

Depending in where I am and if I have time, I like to check out the local AA meetings, as well as do the touristy things.

Hi Yixi!

I haven't been on a holiday yet sober so I haven't anything to add to the wonderful ideas above. I just wanted to thank you for asking the question because now I can benefit from the answers as well.

I think you've already done one of the most important things: think about it before you go. And if you can from where you are, post! We're all here for you.

Hi Yixi!
First of all I see some good planning sweetheart. If you can visualise and plan a sober holiday before you go it'll really help when you get there.
I went on an all inclusive holiday at 6 weeks sober. Yes all inclusive! I booked it before I got sober and of course it was going to be a challenge. I decided to change my thinking about it. This was my treat for all the hard work I had put in. This was going to be the start of some wonderful memory making for me and my girls. Of course the booze was there 24/7 and free. But so was the coffee and pop and water. I remained utterly vigilant and it really wasn't that hard (for me that is we are all different). The utter joy of a sober holiday worry free for the girls was more than enough to get me through.
I would recommend:
Plan plan plan
Think about vulnerable times - the flight? evening meals? Plan!
Be totally open with your partner at all times and include him/her in your planning process if you can.
If you have access to SR post post post!
Have ideas to distract yourself - dip in the pool, take a good book, indulge in a huge ice-cream!
Don't forget your HALT triggers
Try and keep a sensible-ish routine- sleep is important
Most of all HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME! Remember this is the freedom you've fought so hard for. You deserve this!

Wow! Thank you all so much for your response :) :tyou Some fantastic tips here - and I will be taking notes. Thanks also for the links Dee, I'll be checking them all out before I go :) I don't take anything electronic on holiday with me but I'll be taking printouts so that I can keep referring to them. Thanks again people, your help is very much appreciated. I'm sure that I'll be fine but as you have all rightly said - better safe then sorry :) Have a lovely weekend everybody x

You already have great advice here, but I'll just recommend being vigilant before AND after your holiday. My relapses have often followed immediately after making it through a holiday sober. In hindsight, I see that I put tons of focus and pressure on the sober holiday, then felt overly confident and proud. The AV snuck right in there, and the next weekend, due to a very small trigger, I was drinking again.

I don't think that will happen to you, though! :)