summer of changes
 

Hate change. Like things to just stay the same, but unfortunately life has a way of telling you it's time to move on. Many things have happened lately that tells me I need to start a new chapter in my life. Everything tells me that I got to get the courage to move on. I wouldn't call it a spiritual thing, but it feels close. It's a new stage of life that I need to accept. I'll fight it all I can and find excuses to not accept it as long as I can, but it's time and I hate it. John

Not saying the changes will be good and that I will be a better person. Maybe the opposite. John

Life is change.

We can hate it, rail against it, accept it or welcome it. Even celebrate it!

I wonder what might happen if you tried celebrating change for a while....?

Change is inevitable for all of us. What defines us is how we accept and deal with it. Drinking alcohol stacks the deck against us though, so I hope your plan includes leaving it out of the picture.

My thoughts too.

I accept the fact that my left knee is giving me problems. I can accept the fact that when I walk into my kitchen, I forget why I'm there. I can accept the fact that I can only do one thing at a time and not be able to multitask like I did before. I can accept the fact that I might need cataract surgery and possibly a hearing device in the near future. But I don't see anything here to celebrate. Can you relate to any of this? John

I threw out my back this weekend pushing my daughter around on a little bike.... I wake with stabbing pain in the night a dozen times. It's a re-injury of an old injury that acts up. It'll mean spasms and limping and pain and difficult bowel movements for at least a week......

I have a torn meniscus that's prevented me from the kind of running I like to do for over a year, making it a struggle to stay on top of my fitness and therefore my mood.....

I can't remember people I just met, about 90% of the time....

Multitasking is hopeless and leaves me feeling scattered much of the time....

I've gone from sometimes needing reader-cheaters from the drugstore to a constant need for glasses to fading eyesight even with the glasses....

My right ear needs surgery and I have full time tinnitus.

Do I celebrate these? No, I accept them.

Yet I celebrate that my back was thrown out this time while spending time with my gleefully squealing daughter.

I celebrate that while I wake in the night in pain - my wife asks if I'm ok and reminds me that I'm not alone in my struggle.

My fading eyesight is cause for celebration that I'm able to get glasses and that I can continue to use my eye and my faculties with the help of technology.

I don't find my torn meniscus celebration-worthy.... but I celebrate my return to literature and the way that rising in the morning to read books has replaced my running - for now.

I don't celebrate tinitus - but I've celebrated the way that tinitus has helped me appreciate silence more fully and completely. How it's brought my attention to my present more, by forcing me to adjust for the ringing by being more aware.....

There's always a light side to a dark change.... there's always a way to celebrate what we have.

The changes that test us the most also offer the greatest growth.... when we're willing to seek it.

:grouphug:

The only constant in life is change. Hang in there. Sending you strength.

And that’s the other thing we can always celebrate——- if we’re still experiencing change, we’re still experiencing.

Pain means I ain’t dead and if I ain’t dead, I can celebrate being alive!!!

I can relate to some of that John, for sure. I don't multitask as well...which is good I had babies in my twenties....we're getting older, John. I've got arthritis in my knees. You know what I have found works best....keep moving; stay active. I've got a little cataract in my right eye, but not bad enough for surgery? I'm glad my left eye is cataract free. I'm getting more and more gray....I can always die my hair till I decide it's too much work....then I hope I will be okay with it. But there can be some good things that get better with age. Find out what is most important to you right now in your life and focus on that. Much of the rest is bull and you don't need that in your life right now.

But, no matter what age we are, John....peace, joy, contentment, happiness will always be an inside job.

I had cataract surgery four years ago. It was a great success and my vision is a lot better. :)

I don't like change either, but I have to adapt. If I don't bend, I'll break.

Hugs to you John. :grouphug:

I've Endured
 

How long must one endure, John? I don't know the answer to that...I don't think any of us do....the following song begs the question....I thought of you when I listened to it....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6gE-eneMlA


Born in the mountains, many years ago.
I've climbed these hills and valleys, through the rain and snow.
Seen the lightning flashing, heard the thunder roar.
I've endured, I've endured.
How long, must one, endure?

Barefoot in the summer, on into the fall.
Too many mouths to feed, he could not clothe us all.
Sent to church on Sunday to learn the golden rule.
I've endured, I've endured.
How long must one endure?

I've worked for the rich, and I've lived with the poor.
I've seen many a heartaches, and I'll see many more.
I've lived, loved, and sorrowed, been to success's door
I've endured, I've endured.
How long must one endure?

by-Tim O'Brien

One of my favourite quotes which has helped me no end in my journey so far:

"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts." Arnold Bennett.

I hope it gives you some comfort too. It gets better.

Hi John :hug: hang in there my friend.

Actually is a pretty spiritual thing. In fact I was listen ing to Richard Rohr talk about precisely this in his talks in a Kindle book called The Art of Letting Go yesterday. And I remember that realisation myself when my old self was all washed up and I realised that there was no way back- I just had to face this journey into the unknown of becoming the me I am without booze. It is a death of sorts. But it's also the key to new life, and better life. This is an end, but more significantly, it is a beginning.

BB

Well. You came here to this site for reasons of your own. There were things that you wanted to change no doubt.

And this has started to happen. Surely this is a cause for celebration.
But, at that tipping point it does seem more scary than anything else. I think of that point in the journey as a little like that moment on a roller coaster where we've reached the highest point and the carriage is suspended for a few seconds waiting for the real ride to begin. We've chuntered our way to that point, and had a massive realisation - we've registered there's no real way back without the risk of disaster, and we can't just stay where we are, and there we are trusting ourselves to the unknown.

How many people have you met on here (or in real life recovery groups perhaps) who didn't find that new life to be better than their old drinking life (eventually)? I can't think of any who preferred their old existence to their new one. Sure, it took a little while to feel like that. But they didn't need to make that journey alone, and neither do you John. This will be okay.

BB

Celebrate getting older? Why not. Got to be better than the alternative.

The 80 year old cashier at the local mart always says: I'll happily take aging. It's a gift given to far too few.

When I finally got sober I stopped 'fighting' change. I started adapting to it/them. I'm as at peace/happy as I've ever been. I feel 17 again, in a way. 'Whole new world' type thing..

Good morning John - I hope that you're feeling better in yourself today. Life is sometimes a s**t storm but as my grandma used to say "you can choose to live it happy or you can choose to live it in misery". You're here and you have that choice. That in itself is an extremely fortunate position to be in as there's many on this planet that don't have that luxury. I wish you peace of mind and happiness. Yix x