Rar

Hi John - I don't have any words of wisdom, but want you to know that I understand what you're saying. I, too, have some challenges in my life, most of them health related. When I stop to think about my age (almost 69), the unknown scares me. I found this on the 24 hour thread a few weeks ago. I found it applicable to me:

You either get bitter or you get better. You either take what’s been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you

entropy1964

But I don't see anything here to celebrate.

Hi John. I browsed the thread, so maybe I missed something, but what is it you feel you are supposed to be celebrating? If there's nothing to celebrate, don't.

I don't have anything to celebrate either. I actually don't even care that much about celebrating a lot of stuff that I'm supposed to celebrate. I love Thanksgiving, but I can leave Christmas quite frankly. I've never liked New Years. I could give two hoots about Mother's Day. A "happy birthday' will suffice on my bday. Beyond that, its business as usual.

If I'm reading correctly you are heading into that final 'phase' of life. Me too. And there are some serious adjustments. My daughter is a Senior and will be leaving in one short year. Then what? I may take care of my parents, which would give me 'purpose', but they are really old so who knows where they will be in a year. My life is kind of on hold, if you will. I have no fricken clue what the future holds and that does scare me. I wish we were there, but I don't at the same time because I have to relish this last year with my kid....even tho she fricken scares me these days because she's impulsive....and just like me. Which is good and bad. I feel like I see this horizon approaching but I'm not there yet. But I will be, and fast.

So all those questions of what will I do, where will I live, I hope I have enough money, if I have to work who would hire my old azz, will I move back to cali, will I actually pursue another relationship (unlikely), will I travel (I think you mentioned that yourself in another thread).....future tripping big time.

I also know that my future is happening while I'm freaking out about it. So I try to stay in the moment. I suppose if I don't move back to cali I will get some kind of job. Maybe I'll travel the US a bit. I've been to Europe a few times so I'm not that interested in that right now. Although I've not been to Italy and Spain. So gotta do that.

There is nothing to celebrate. Just today. Its gonna be hot. I'm gonna go workout, do some yard work, maybe see a movie. I'm so grateful to be sober. And so grateful to not live in somewhere like Syria...where pondering my navel would be impossible because I'd be too busy trying to not get bombed or not starve to death. Life is good.

Happiness, sadness, ambivalence? Just feelings. They all pass. If I'm content that's all I can ask for.

2muchpain

WOW!!!! I never expected so many responses!! Nice to know so many people understood where I was coming from, at the same time sorry that you guys are going through so much stuff. But I really didn't plan on making this thread so negative. I don't know where all that came from.
I've known many people younger than me; some much younger, that have many more problems than me. I'm very lucky to be me.
You guys gave me a lot to think about. I feel much better today. Thanks. Hope all of you have a great day. John

teatreeoil007

I' m glad this has been helpful for you John. Isn't it great to have others put into words some their own challenges instead just pat answers?

So right now in my life I am challenged with feeling like time is getting away from me somehow...and the hubs is feeling it too....we're the same age...and yesterday we talked about what we can do to simplify our lives more.

We've got an old old cat, a stray, that recently adopted us...we feed him.....he gets around pretty slow these days....but his life is simple and his basic needs are met...but he is at the mercy of the elements and whoever will feed him...but last night as I was petting him I realized....he actually seems content....

2muchpain

I know what you mean about simplifying your life. I retired many years ago, sold my house and moved back to the beaches. Now I live in an apartment, so if something breaks, management will take care of it at no cost to me. Kinda miss having my own house sometimes, but I don't miss the upkeep, costs and amount of time you gotta put into it. Considering maybe buying a mobile home in a nice community (adults only), or a condo. Money is a little tight, but I still work part time so I do fine. My life is pretty stress-free except for stuff I create. Worth living on a budget. I also have that feeling life is passing me by, but that is something I can do something about. Gotta get busy.
Amazing what we can learn from animals. I think they have a better idea on what it takes to have a happy life. Good luck. John

teatreeoil007

It sounds like you've already done some good things to simplify. That's great.

Yes, we can learn a lot from animals, nature, and other people. It always amazes me how some people just seem to be content....and some people seem to have a peace that passes understanding. They're good examples to me and I can learn a lot from them.

teatreeoil007

I've realized something about myself. It's not the changes so much that challenge me. It's how I have to struggle a little more in order to adapt to those changes. Change does not come as easy to me as it did even ten years ago. Mentally I know change can be good but when it comes down to the nuts and bolts of the changing process it just isn't that easy.

Gilmer

John, I (and everyone I know) found cataract surgery to be quick, easy, painless, and a great improvement.

I highly recommend it (and I certainly do not consider myself OLD! ).

2muchpain

Since I got two different opinions from two different specialist regarding whether of not to have the surgery, I've decided to see my old optomitrist from a few years ago for one more checkup. I trust them and will do whatever they say. The one specialist that said I needed the procedure said it would cost me $5600 out of pocket to have it done even though I have good insurance. Some special procedure or something. My insurance company said it should only cost me something like $300 out of pocket. My insurance agent told me he is trying to take my money with this special procedure and it's not necessary. Sooooooooooo long story longer, if I'm told next week that the surgery is a good idea, I'll find another specialist to do the job.
Glad to hear your happy with the results. John

2muchpain

It's the fear of change that holds me back. Gotta work through that. Enough hiding out in my apartment. John

2muchpain

Decided to go to an ER today. Very concerned about the HUGE KNOT on my head. Thought maybe I cracked my skull or something like losing brain matter LOL. Can't afford that. Anyway, they gave me a CT and everything is normal. Next week I'll see a dentist to put a new tooth on my dentures due to the tooth I lost with the fall. At least my black eyes aren't so black anymore. John

Gilmer

Extremely wise move.

Dee74

Glad you're mending John

D

teatreeoil007

Glad your CT was normal, John!

2muchpain

Feel like I'm being put back together, piece by piece. John

teatreeoil007

Hi John. How's it going today? I hope even better.

Well....guess what....we have another cat that has adopted us. He is currently making his home on one of our garden boxes in the back yard. He is a young cat, a Bengal...very unusual markings....but he and the old cat get along real well even though such a difference in ages. Neither sees the other as a threat, I don't think.

So, I was just thinking about this a little more and no matter what their age is or their circumstances that brought them here....they have very similar needs. Food, love, attention, staying out of harm's way..a place to bed down and call home. You and I are not unlike these two kitties. I know I need to continue to simplify and be grateful.

2muchpain

I sense that those cats can tell you are a kind, caring person and they know you are there to make them feel safe and comfortable. Sounds like they are right.
Doing well today. Drank a few beers a few days ago, but it's getting easier to get through the day without drinking. Starting back in the gym tomorrow. That should help with my attitude and passing the time in a healthy way. Have a good one. John

SoberLeigh

I am really glad that you went to the ER, John; good to hear that the CT scan was normal.

Please take good care, John.

teatreeoil007

Thanks. I have always had a big heart for critters.

2muchpain

Got a message for me to call my doctor. Had some blood work done last week. Must be about that. Man, when it rains, it pours. John