Dasher17

I just wanted to check in with everyone who replied here. Thank you so much. I really did not know what to do during this depressed state I have been in and just started googling people's stories ...i guess just to kind of relate to? I do exactly why but I found this sit and registered and little did I know you all have really helped me.

I am still in this cringy humiliated mood, but the thoughts of wanting to bury myself in a hole the rest of my life, is not as frequent. But my problem is, I still get that feeling still. I am trying to live my life but every time I think of that night I get that feeling again. Reading that some of you have actually been in a very similar situation has truly helped me. And I am sorry that you had to feel what I feel.

My current problem which is hurting even more now, is my gf dad needs help moving stuff and my gf asked if I could help tomorrow. I don't think I can see them this soon. I haven't talked to them since that night (and I still am not even exactly sure what all i said or did in front of them..and that part is awful in itself) but I just don't think I can see them this soon. I was hoping to not have to see or talk to them for weeks and hopefully eventually they would forget about it. Which I also know that just me wanting that to happen.

All I can see is them all talking amongst eachother about how sloppy or dumb or idiot I am when I was drunk. And her friends thoughts like what a weird stupid loser drunk boyfriend.

And I have to see all these same people again next month and I am really going to try to find an excuse to get out of that event so I don't have to see everyone again. I just want it to be like 10 years forward so I don't have to live through seeing or talking to them all.

StellaBlu

Hi Dasher, I can understand your feeling 'cringy'. I have had a lot of cringeworthy moments myself. And I can understand you not wanting to see her family. But helping her dad may give you an opportunity to show him another side of you. If he is in need and you can help him - what better way to endear yourself to him? Just a thought.
Best of luck.
-sb

kenton

Hi Dasher,

Just as alcohol caused you to behave in a way you regret.... shame is now causing you to withdraw, isolate and crawl into a hole. What you need to do is accept you messed up, apologise to the people you hurt, learn from this and move on.

Every time I look back at shameful experiences in my life, alcohol was always involved. Now I'm sober, I don't experience the brutality of shame anymore. I still mess up and I still feel guilty sometimes and apologise when I've chosen the wrong words/actions but I don't feel shame.

Shame tells us that we are bad and that's why when we feel it we want to isolate and disappear. But the truth is, you're not a bad person. You just messed up. Learn from this. Use your shame as motivation to stop drinking for good and then let go of it. Continuing to beat yourself could become a trigger.

Look forward to a life without alcohol. And shame. Good luck xxxx

Dee74

Did you end up helping, Dasher?

D

rich27

Yes, I'd like to know as well as it would be a great opportunity to move on from that night.