SoberSteve

Just looked at my old posts. Apparently, I had a week last year and 3 months the year before and almost two years 3 years ago. Anyway, it's a new day and I'm working on day 11. Things have been going as one might expect, kinda tough with some good patches from time to time. Sleep is getting better. I'm looking into AVRT. Today I really came close to losing it, though.

I was tired and about to grill something out for dinner. I fixed a mixed drink and took it outside and put it on the little table by the grill. In my mind I'd already given up. I stood back and looked at that drink and thought about my reasons for quitting, mainly my health and my sanity. I looked at that drink for a good two minutes. Then I took it to the bathroom and dumped it in the toilet, peed on it, and flushed it. After that I was ok.

So glad I'm not going to wake up hungover in the morning or with night sweats in the middle of the night. I really hate that.

I've been lurking here since I quit again. I'm so glad this place exists. I do so want to become sober Steve again.

lessgravity

Man was that too close for comfort.

Welcome back. Some impressive sober time under your belt in the past.

least

Welcome back! Glad you stayed sober.

DontRemember

I didn't have any alcohol in my house for like the first 3mo of my quit. Didn't trust myself.

keeppushing

Welcome back SoberSteve! Close call, but you finished strong!

Tonymblue

Good job. You pushed through. I hate that feeling of looking at a drink and caving in. Glad you didn’t.

entropy1964

Wow Steve that is huge. But kinda close. Do you think you can rid the house of booze?

biminiblue

I am glad you are making it stick. Life, it's precious.

SoberSteve

Yes, I should dump the booze I have and I plan to, eventually. I don't know if it makes sense but I want to do it from a position of strength and I think I'm pretty close to being there. Even if it (booze) wasn't right there in the house, there's multiple stores nearby. The practical part of me hates the idea of wasting all that money I have in booze in my house but soon it shall all be getting the fish a buzz on.

Rar

Welcome back, Steve. Great job in dumping that drink. My husband is a heavy beer drinker and so we have his brand of beer in the house. I didn't dump my brand of beer out, thinking that perhaps some guests would drink it, and also I didn't want to waste it. It was conveniently there when I had my brief relapse 26 days ago. I dumped it all out, but it was too late. Yes, there are stores nearby, but my opinion is that some relapses are spur of the moment decisions during times of weakness. You had a close call. Based on my own experience, my suggestion is to dump it. Great job on 11 days. That's excellent - please don't risk it.

Janis

Not that I'm an expert by any stretch but I have found the same with booze as with chocolate. If I really want it that extra effort to make it to the store after safely home typically deters me. Perhaps it gives me a moment to think it through or maybe I'm simply lazy. I completely understand the ins and outs and ups and downs of sobriety. I am also starting back up after having time under my belt.

Best of luck to you and your recovery!

DontRemember

I gave what liqour/beer(s) I had leftover to friends and family when I temporarily cleaned out my home bar to not waste a few thousand dollars of booze. They've since returned the 'favor' when I felt comfortable enough to start hosting partys again and brought over more to stock it back up. I'm of the mindset now of 'not mine', so I never even think about it. I still don't keep beer here regularly since that's my DOC.

bringmeback7693

So glad that you didn't drink it!

AtomicBlue

I actually stopped grilling when I quit drinking last year. I've been grilling fine now with no problems. I haven't tried smoking meat yet though. That was my ultimate excuse to hang out in the backyard and drink beer all day. Who knows, maybe I won't really like doing it anymore. Anyway, I just figured those might be pretty big triggers for me. Seems kind of silly, but you could even consider giving grilling a break for awhile. Glad you survived!!

Buckley3

I'm just going to be honest. No, it doesn't make sense. Dump it. Quit playing with fire. Recognize it as your AV negotiating. You are setting yourself up to give yourself permission to drink again. You already did and narrowly escaped the trap.

Who cares if there are multiple stores nearby. That has nothing to do with booze in your house that you've already taken and mixed and come very close to drinking. Very important that you see this - you are negotiating with it, or rather, you are letting your AV negotiate.

Why wrestle and poke something that can easily cost you so much?

Just dump it. Doesn't matter what state of mind you think you're in, doesn't require any sort of altruistic ceremony. That's your AV.

B

Dee74

welcome back Steve

The strongest thing - the very strongest thing - you could do today is dump that booze.

All the rest is addictive misdirection Steve.

A test like this admits the possibility of 'failure to pass' and further drinking.

You joined here in 2012 - I think you've already taken this test a few times and not done all that well, Steve?

Don't listen to the BS.
You'll be tested enough without setting up tests. Dump it.

D

Arpeggioh

I could not agree more: dump it -- peeing on it is optional, but not a bad idea...