Day 0
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 69
Day 0
After nearly 5 months sober, I drank yesterday. Yesterday was my birthday. So on Friday, the night before my birthday, I decided to have wine.
In a way, I'm glad I did it. I ruined my birthday. I feel absolutely awful today, and I now remember very clearly why I decided to stop.
There are people in this world that can go to the bar, have one drink, and then stop. I am not one of those people. I will never be one of those people. Alcohol for me is poison. It WILL ruin my life if I let it. But that is my choice and only I can make the choice to stay sober. And today, yet again, back at day 0, I choose sobriety. Because I know I cannot handle what comes with alcohol.
I held on to my wine glasses and kept one bottle of wine in my apartment as I made the decision to get sober 5 months ago. Today, they all go. I do not want alcohol in my life. It is a terrible, awful substance.
I choose sobriety. I choose clarity. I choose a life that is better than this.
In a way, I'm glad I did it. I ruined my birthday. I feel absolutely awful today, and I now remember very clearly why I decided to stop.
There are people in this world that can go to the bar, have one drink, and then stop. I am not one of those people. I will never be one of those people. Alcohol for me is poison. It WILL ruin my life if I let it. But that is my choice and only I can make the choice to stay sober. And today, yet again, back at day 0, I choose sobriety. Because I know I cannot handle what comes with alcohol.
I held on to my wine glasses and kept one bottle of wine in my apartment as I made the decision to get sober 5 months ago. Today, they all go. I do not want alcohol in my life. It is a terrible, awful substance.
I choose sobriety. I choose clarity. I choose a life that is better than this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 386
Hi Jack,
Belated Happy Birthday!!
I have done that before. I know how it feels. We don't have off switch. We drink and screw everything around and mostly because we are drunk. You are making a turn back in the right direction. Don't feel bad or beat yourself up. Pick up and move on. You have confirmed one more reason why not to drink.
Unlike for others, Alcohol is a ******** brain agent for us, once we start we cannot stop it!
Have a great day! Stay strong and sober.
Belated Happy Birthday!!
I have done that before. I know how it feels. We don't have off switch. We drink and screw everything around and mostly because we are drunk. You are making a turn back in the right direction. Don't feel bad or beat yourself up. Pick up and move on. You have confirmed one more reason why not to drink.
Unlike for others, Alcohol is a ******** brain agent for us, once we start we cannot stop it!
Have a great day! Stay strong and sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hi Jack,
Happy belated Birthday! I'm glad you came right back today and posted, rather than continuing to drink. Getting rid of any alcohol is a good idea. What were you doing for recovery during your five months sobriety? Take a little time today to read around and see what you can add to your plan.
It sounds like you decided to drink the night before you actually did. If you get those thoughts again, and it is quite possible in early recovery, post in here, type out what you are thinking and lots of people will be here to support you.
I'm glad you are back.
Happy belated Birthday! I'm glad you came right back today and posted, rather than continuing to drink. Getting rid of any alcohol is a good idea. What were you doing for recovery during your five months sobriety? Take a little time today to read around and see what you can add to your plan.
It sounds like you decided to drink the night before you actually did. If you get those thoughts again, and it is quite possible in early recovery, post in here, type out what you are thinking and lots of people will be here to support you.
I'm glad you are back.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Belated happy birthday Jack.
If you can hang onto this insight, 'essentialise' it, and bring it out the next time you feel like drinking, you'll be well on the way to a life of permanent recovery
D
If you can hang onto this insight, 'essentialise' it, and bring it out the next time you feel like drinking, you'll be well on the way to a life of permanent recovery
D
Vietnam Vet
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Georgia
Posts: 421
Jack proud of you for making a wise decision to move forward with your eyes on the prize. The prize being permanent sobriety. Stay with us and focus on feeling good both mentally and physically. You got this partner!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Jack, this happened to me too. Except I had 3 yrs. sober & decided I could have 'a glass' of wine. That's all it took to send me right back to hell, for a very long time. We can have all the determination & resolve in the world - but once that first drink hits us, anything can happen. It took me a long time to realize it was not a matter of summoning up enough willpower. I'm glad you're back on track - you learned something valuable.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 568
Thanks for sharing your story Jak. I am also at 5 months sober and get the thoughts that I can have one glass of wine. I know it would never just be one. I need reminders like this to be louder than the AV. Happy Belated Birthday. Again, thanks for sharing.
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