I'm sorry for your loss Sunshine. I am at 'that' age...parents are in the mid 80's. Both have severe dementia....and getting worse quickly. Its just a fact that they, like all of us, will die and sooner than later. I totally hear you, not wanting them to suffer. That is the worst part. I will be moving back to their house next year to care for them, assuming they can still stay in that house. I'm heading there on the 11th to relieve one of my brothers so that he can go on vacation. So, I relate.
I can tell you, for sure, drinking will not help if you are alcoholic. I drank 'over' my husbands death and it just delayed, and screwed up, the grief process. AA is always there as a support. You don't have to be alone unless you choose to.
Hang in there.