Lookingforchange

Hi, I’m posting here as got the funeral of a close family member tomorrow and I’m dreading it. Lots of family who don’t get on are going and it brings loads of feelings about my dads funeral so big trigger. I’m posting to help me stay sober tomorrow as getting drunk really won’t help anything. I’m very grateful for this site. X

Opivotal

I would suggest you prepare an exit plan if things get ugly, Lookingforchange.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Lookingforchange

You’re right. I’m driving so can leave when I need to and can turn down any drinks offered to me.

PeacefulWater12

That's great self care, sorry you are going through this.

icewater1961

Really really sorry about your loss. I have lost so many people recently including my dad... I was seriously depressed after he went. For years but I think you will get through this a lot quicker? It never heals but move on. Everyone wants you to get past it, take time to heal but nobody that crosses to the other side would want you to be afraid or miserable. Take your favorite non alcoholic drinks with you. There is so much choice in those and I don't mean soda. Something healthy. Something to drink, apple, cranberry, tomato, That is when you have a moment, whether you arrive late and leave early, which was a recipe that I heard in AA. Be gone before the Irish wake starts. Pay your respects and if you don't feel right, be gone. That is indeed a moment of great grief but take it as it comes.

Mattq2

Great idea driving yourself. Remember you and your sobriety are the most important thing. I “ran” from a lot of functions early on. Few people noticed. Good luck to you.

Hevyn

We're here, lookingforchange. Very wise use of the forum - getting through a challenging time. I used it for the same reason when I first came here, & it worked very well for me.
You're right - drinking just adds more anxiety & stress. We once thought it helped us cope. We know better now.

Dee74

I am really sorry for your loss LFC.
An exit plan sounds like a great idea.

D

Hevyn

Hope you are doing ok, LFC - been thinking about you.

Lookingforchange

Thanks all. I feel positive I can do this. I have and that’s it👍

Delizadee

Having an exit plan and wheels is a great idea.
And I am so sorry for this difficult time
I came out of treatment and my grandfather passed away very shortly after. And I had to travel halfway across the country, the last half of the drive to the funeral I rode with a family member so I had no wheels and no exit plan, so when the booze came out and my grieving dad decided to take his verbal jabs at me I started crawling the walls.

I am glad you are here and leaning on us! I can't remember if I was here much at the time but I know IRL I was super alone and white knuckling it hard.
Do you have anyone with whom you can stick close to or bring with who would be some good emotional support by chance? If not, post away. It's not easy. But I have all the faith in the world you can do this. I made it through so you can too.

Dee74

I hope things are going OK LFC.

D

Lookingforchange

Thanks all for the support. Took 2 close family members for support so had just tea and water from the bar. Bit my tounge so done my bit and home safe and happy. Xx

icewater1961

I am glad it worked ok for you!

Opivotal

Good for you, Lookingforchange!

I'm glad everything worked out.

Lookingforchange

I came home and watered my plants in the garden then hoovered the house and said the serenity prayer. Off to bed now feeling at peace-thank you for all the support. It was amazing. Fresh day tomorrow. Xx

Hevyn

Very relieved for you. A funeral was my first big test too - I just kept telling myself 'It's not worth it'. We did it!

Dee74

Really glad to read that LFC

D