Liebe

I thought I replied in message but it ended up going to a new one. Please see my reponse on the next page or two. I had to edit it with your name at the top so youd know it was a reply to this message. Im sure you could figure that out though, lol,
I feel so not computer savvy.

PeacefulWater12

Hello all

I would very much like to join this thread.

Struggling on and off the wagon. I will keep trying. Using different tools and techniques till i get my abstinence back.

Day two just completed and thoroughly enjoyed.

I love how it feels to be abstinent. So silly that I then pick up!

Onwards

Anna

In case anyone is interested, these are a few books that are on our Book List regarding Eating Disorders:
Eating Disorders

Collins, Judy Cravings
Fonda, Jane My Life So Far
Gold, Tracy Room To Grow
Johnston, Kristen Guts
Knapp, Caroline Appetites: Why Women Want
Roth, Geneen Women, Food & God
Wilson, Carnie Gut Feeling

Sunflowerlife

I love the reminder to be present and focus on this moment and today. Good for you for moving on with your day and not letting the birthday cake ruin your day. And happy Birthday to your son- how old is he?Those small victories are really important.

Here is one of my favorite doctors who explains things reasonably well, and a talk on Leptin:

https://youtu.be/o-K9xpu1pzo

Good luck with your prep and painting tomorrow and thanks for the compliment! I can't wait to share the room with you guys when it's all done and decorated.

As for going gluten free, the easiest way is to not replace gluten items with gluten free ones because you're right, they tend to have other allergens in them (and sugar.) There are lots of paleo recipes you could try that might help replace things like bread items or crackers.

Have a great night!

Sunflowerlife

Thanks Anna! Women, Food and God seems to come up a lot- going to have to get that one from the library.

Sunflowerlife

Hi PeacefulWater! So nice to have you here. I know all about the "on and off" the wagon cycle. Can you share some tools that help you stay abstinent? I am new to this idea of abstaining from sugar and flour but I truly think it's going to be the only way for me to kick this food addiction. I also love the feeling when I abstain and really feel silly when I pick up- I know how awful I feel, I know the ramifications, I know the blood sugar issues and the cravings that will come with it. So why do I keep going back? I am hoping that once I start working the steps in OA things will be clearer.

Thanks again for joining us...

Sunflowerlife

Self care is a hard one for me only because I've been running towards numbing behaviors since I was 15 (I'm almost 42). It's my automatic response to heightened emotions.

I don't think I have ever considered rewarding myself though- how do others reward themselves?

I can list things that I'm doing to become more balanced and feel better if that counts:

1) Exercise. I found a love for it at around 15 years old and never looked back. I used to do these cardio VHS tapes in my basement in high school and even the whole Buns of Steel series lol! Then I started lifting my freshman year of college and my love for weights was found! So I am active almost every day of the week. Between weights, spinning, or just a moderate bike ride in my basement I feel best when I move almost every day.

I am trying to add more yoga to my life- I really love Kundalini Yoga which is physical and very focused on breath and chanting. I also like Hatha yoga and my goal is to swap out some of my cardio days with yoga since I think my soul really needs more of it.

I meditate- I'm currently at the end of an 8 week spiritual development class on Awakening, which is focused on the chakras, integrative breathwork and a lot of meditation. When I'm caught in a binge cycle I cannot feel connected to Source so the meditation goes out the window. But I do try to do my breathwork in bed 3-4 nights a week. I also do self Reiki before I fall asleep and sometimes I listen to a hypnosis track as well (I just started doing that after taking a year or so off.)

I love music so I listen to it a lot and I dance around the house and with the kids.

I also love learning so I listen to a lot of podcasts every week from astrology to Feng Shui to Keto Diet stuff.

I also started learning about Feng Shui last year so I'm redoing all the rooms in the house which is a passion of my since I am creative at heart and very interested in energy and how it affects us.

I'd like to get to a place where I reach for these things when I'm stressed rather than running to food. I ran to drugs and alcohol for 25+ years. Now that those are out of the picture I am running towards the food. I never learned to look inwards rather than outwards when I needed help (and I've needed a lot of help with a history of depression going back to when I was just 13.) So this is really what I am working on this year with the Reiki and Awakening class. I want to stop looking outside of myself for the answers and the solutions when I know that deep down they reside within me and my connection to The Divine.

Thanks for asking and for reading. It feels good just getting it all out there.

Liebe

Have a great night![/QUOTE]

Thank you. My son is 23. Probably too old to be baking cakes for- but Im having a hard time with him being this tall, young man. I still like doing things only a mom can do well for him. Its the same cake ive made him for years.
I have to be careful to not turn into Marie Barone with being a smothering mother- lol. I really do watch that.
Its an emotional day for me. Kids have Birthdays, moms have Birth Days on their kids birthday. Its a special day for moms, at least for this mom.
Ill have to look into paleo. How long have you done it?

topspin

.

What an effective solution you've executed with the accent wall Sunny !?

….. beautiful job .

Thanks for the article connecting early alcohol addiction recovery with sugary " stuff "


I have full confidence you'll accomplish your ultimate goals …... that is, ...your sugar and flour cravings diminish to nothing .

This interview discussing Leptin ,.... covers a lot of ground ,..imo

It touches briefly on alcoholism several times .

One thing I found very interesting was his advocacy for various support networks ( like this one !!! imho ) being incredibly helpful . Along with OA and AA .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXXGxoNFag4

Sunflowerlife

Never too old to be baking cakes for you son! If I asked for it I am sure my Mom would bake one for me too. She loves doing things like that for others.

Marie Barone...man I miss that show!

I don't do paleo, but paleo and keto aren't too different in terms of what you can eat. Paleo focuses on whole foods but eliminates legumes, grains and dairy. So it's mostly low glycemic foods and of course you wouldn't have any gluten which is what you mentioned above. It might be worth looking into and talking to your doctor about. (Keto is much more carb restricted and you can have dairy but not things like sweet potato which you can eat on paleo as no vegetables are off limits.)

Have a great day and good luck with the painting!

Arpeggioh

I'm really enjoying this thread. My initial focus was eliminating sugar because of my diabetes, and I can happily say I haven't had a cookie or any form of refined sugar in two months. My glucose levels are vastly improved from the shocking reading of 498 that scared me into compliance! I see my doctor in two weeks, and she'd better be damned impressed with my A1C this time...

...but I'm still fat! I loathe mirrors, hate looking like a pregnant old man, getting frustrated with very slow weight loss (maybe 20 pounds, which should make me happy, but doesn't, because my belly is still obscene)...

I'm not sure if I identify as a food addict; I certainly acted like one when I was scarfing donuts and cookies every evening. I'm currently lost in a "plan" of my own making: fascinated by ketosis, but relying heavily on meat and cheese and eggs, slowly getting over my fear of vegetables (brussels sprouts have carbs! Eek!) but still worried about excess saturated fat clogging my old man arteries and my impending heart attack...my lab work next week will tell the tale about cholesterol and triglycerides and my new-found love of bacon and sausage!

Anyway, I mostly wanted to complain about my snacking compulsion at night. I'm having a really hard time convincing myself that shoveling pork rinds into my face every evening is healthy. Deep fried pig skin - is that really food? It sounds more like a waste product...

And then there's calories; I won't even start, because it hurts my brain...

Okay, end rant. I'll have more genuine medical information in a couple of weeks after blood analysis; meanwhile, I'll stay away from cookies, and fake my way through the rest of my "eating plan." Thanks for listening

Sunflowerlife

Thanks topspin!I appreciate that! The blue wall was the plan, I just should have bought a gallon and not a quart (I am trying to save money!!)- going to tackle the windows tomorrow and now I'll need to buy more paint.

I love Dr. Fung and will listen to this at the gym today! Thank you so much for sharing and in your confidence in me. I hate starting over again, I really do. I am getting to the point I was with my drinking: sick and tired of being sick and tired. It's just not worth it anymore. Feel good for 3 days, feel like crap for 2. What's the point? I want to feel good all the time and I know how to do it so why don't I just do it?

ProfessorD

Hi Arpeggioh! I can relate to your bad snacking habits and your over-reliance on meat, dairy, and eggs. Some keto people count fiber and minus it from the daily carb percentage, so that might help you conquer your fear of brussels sprouts, too But I totally hear you and relate. We all have "fear foods" and "safe foods." That's definitely a disordered way of thinking about eating I need to work on, at least.

ProfessorD

Good morning, everyone.

Re: self-care: something that has been helping me in my sober days (25 days so far) is taking the time to make healthy and creative meals. I find that the more time-consuming and detail-oriented the better. It's a welcome distraction from the drinking habit and an opportunity to be mindful about what I'm eating (rather than the mindless, chaotic binging I can slide into). It also can become emotional because I am taking the time to do something for myself because I deserve it. Now, I don't have kids (married, but often living alone because of our respective work schedules). I can see how baking and cooking for others can easily turn into something different from self-care (hard work, an obligation, a stress/trigger, or even co-dependence/people-pleasing).

(ps. I hope this post makes sense. Just woke up, and haven't had my coffee yet )

venuscat

As obvious as this sounds, my first sponsor and close friend always used to say to me: it takes what it takes....used to drive me crazy. Finally I realised she was suggesting that I stop beating myself up about why I couldn't get it right, and just accept where I was. Not where I wanted to be for sure, but on the way.

You are on your way to feeling good every single day love. ♥

Liebe

I miss that show too. Thanks for the clarification. Im still working on portions... but eventhough i " closed the kitchen " last night, i ate almost a full bag of microwave popcorn. Corn...yes, and with my sensitivity to it, i woke w a headache, stuffy nose, red eyes...kinda like a hangover. Woke up thinking how this is like drinking....we know its going to make us feel like garbage, and we push the consequences aside.
Im up and ready to get moving to get this painting over with... today is a new day. Hope you have a good day!

venuscat

Off to see Deadpool2 with Nick and the boys this afternoon (his sons, my stepsons...still amazing to me....14 and 17) and then out for dinner....a steakhouse where they will eat God knows what and I will eat a fillet and a ton of salad. Hope you are OK today dear Sunny.....and love to all on the thread. xx

Sunflowerlife

I like this approach. Afterall, it wasn't a linear journey to get sober I imagine this won't be linear either. Going to work on not beating myself up...thanks my friend.

Sunflowerlife

Enjoy the movie Suze(I am jealous) and I hope you can find something to eat at the Steakhouse

I am ok, it's just been a crazy day- gym then setting up for the yard sale and then I was out there for 4 hours plus cleanup and then had to rush to my breathwork session at 1.
Now I'm home and I can't wait for my husband to go to work. He's been a crabby mess all week and today has lost his stuff several times with the kids. They are definitely being a handful so I don't blame him. But it's hard to be around and now I am having anxiety about getting through the evening on my own with them (from 3:15 on.) My parents are busy tonight so it's just me and the boys and my attempts at remaining calm through it all.

My affirmation that came out of my breathwork session today was: "I am whole and protected amidst the chaos and confusion." I have been feeling very drained this week by the moods of everyone around me and so I'm trying to learn to not let it all affect me. My breathwork therapist said that if you notice an emotion arise (anger for example) and you just sit with it for 90 seconds, it will dissipate, according to a spiritual teacher. Going to try that and see if it works.

Sunflowerlife

And I hope it's been a GREAT day!!! Let us know how you're' doing